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Secure Daughters, Confident Sons: How Parents Guide Their Children into Authentic Masculinity and Femininity Paperback – January 18, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Multnomah Books (January 18, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1601422946
  • ISBN-13: 978-1601422941
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (81 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #297,630 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for Secure Daughters, Confident Sons

"Excellent! Timeless wisdom is dispensed with clarity and refreshing lightness. If you are serious about raising great kids, you must read this book."
-Meg Meeker, MD, pediatrician and author of the best-selling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

"Secure Daughters, Confident Sons provides a powerful vision of raising girls and boys in an ever-changing world. Combining brain science with a Christian perspective, Glenn Stanton inspires parents and teachers to be at once visionary and practical. This book is inspiring and far reaching."
-Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls

"In this delightful book, Glenn Stanton lovingly reveals the secrets of raising healthy sons and daughters."
-Louann Brizendine, MD, author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain

"Secure Daughters, Confident Sons will help you become a secure, confident parent in raising gender-healthy children. It offers rich insight and highly practical applications for empowering your children to be all God intended when He made them male or female."
-Robert Lewis, founder of Men's Fraternity and author of Raising a Modern-Day Knight

"The culture tells us that the lines separating male and female are meaningless, but Glenn Stanton has tapped into the critical importance of recognizing and cultivating the distinct qualities of boys and girls. His book gives parents practical tools to help them appreciate and develop the femininity of their dauthers and the masculinity of their sons. Glenn's work demonstrates that each gender is uniquely gifted by God for a purpose, and by celebrating these gender-specific behaviors and attitudes, we strengthen families and help men and women find purpose and fulfillment."
-Jim Daly, president and CEO of Focus on the Famliy

"Every parent is raising a boy or girl into manhood or womanhood. There is no third option. Glenn Stanton has done parents and grandparents a noble service in helping us understand-based on insights of emerging science and the ancient wisdom of Christianity-how mothers and fathers both guide their children into healthy, balanced, and authentic masculinity and femininity. I know moms and dads-as well as those who want to understand how and why gender matters-will be helped by this important book."
-John Rosemond, family psychologist and author of The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline That Really Works!

"Glenn Stanton has courageously addressed one of the most challenging and rarely discussed aspects of parenting: what is the essence of your child's gender? His observations are not only insightful, but also practical. In a world steeped in gender confusion, this resource is invaluable."
-Dr. Juli Slattery, author and psychologist, Focus on the Family

"We live in a time of almost breathtaking confusion over things that should be basic, like the difference between boys and girls. Parents need good guidance in the midst of such confusion, and Glenn Stanton offers this kind of advice in Secure Daughters, Confident Sons. The secular world tells us that masculinity and femininity are merely social constructs that we must learn to leave behind, but Stanton believes that a proper understanding of manhood and womanhood is essential to Christian faithfulness and human happiness. I am thankful for his conviction and his courage."
-Dr. R. Albert Mohler Jr., president of the Southern Baptist Theology Seminary

About the Author

GLENN T. STANTON is the director for family formation studies at Focus on the Family. He debates and lectures extensively around the country on issues related to gender, sexuality, marriage, and parenting. Often sought out by national media to speak to these issues, Glenn is the author of several books and numerous articles. Glenn and his wife have five children.

More About the Author

Glenn is the Director for Family Formation Studies at Focus on the Family and a research fellow at the Institute of Marriage and Family in Ottawa. He debates and lectures extensively on gender, sexuality, marriage and parenting at universities and churches around the country. He served the George W. Bush administration for many years as a consultant on increasing fatherhood involvement in the Head Start program.

He and his wife Jacqueline have five endlessly growing kids and they all live relatively happily in the shadow of Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Customer Reviews

What a difference a good book can make!
Brian J. Ackermann
I highly recommend this book if you are a parent.
hmommy
I thought this book was a very interesting read.
holly11

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By John A. Bird on January 19, 2011
Format: Paperback
Glenn T. Stanton unapologetically believes that males and females are different, and that the difference isn't just a result of social conditioning. Little boys are different from little girls just like their daddies are different from their mothers. Their interests are different, their needs are different, even their brains are different. Stanton's book itself is evidence. If we were to remove his name along with all of the references to his being male, there wouldn't be a doubt that a man wrote the book. What lady would write a section on the benefits of throwing and catching babies, after all?

Stanton makes it clear that "different doesn't mean inferior":

"Different means different--think unique if that helps--and many of these female and male differences show us how important, vital, and necessary both male and female are for society and the family. Each has essential qualities, strengths as well as weaknesses, that the other doesn't have."

And to back that up, he gives equal space in his book to raising boys and raising girls; they even get their own chapters. Why wouldn't they? The goal of raising little boys is to make good men, he says, and the goal of raising little girls is to make good women. While "goodness" is the same regardless of gender, what makes a good man is quite different from what makes a good woman, and so there are aspects of their upbringing that should be different. "Raising secure daughters and confident sons is, by definition, gender distinct work."

Stanton also makes a big fuss about the difference in parenting styles between mother and dad, and he says that both are important. Kids benefit from the balance.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Baby Brainstorm on March 28, 2011
Format: Paperback
I loved that the author talked about our divine natures, and that each of us, male or female, was created by God on purpose to be the gender that we are! Boys and Girls are not the same, and that is a good thing!

One of the main points I took away from this book is that we as parents should look at our children as future men and women. And then we should imagine what type of men and women we want them to be and strive to teach them those qualities. If we want them to be responsible, we need to give them responsibilities when they are growing up. I appreciated the authors breakdown of specific gender needs and tendencies for both boys and girls. I can already tell that my son and daughter have different propensities, some of which are tied to their genders.

I wished the book would have given more example or parenting ideas for young children; I felt that most of the practical advice was for teenagers. I suppose that is because young children are less aware of their gender compared to a teenager!

Overall, I would at least recommend skimming through this book if you don't have time to read it all.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By MercyMomma on April 27, 2011
Format: Paperback
Secure Daughters Confident Sons: How Parents Guide Their Children into Authentic Masculinity and Femininity interested me. I mean, who doesn't want to raise secure daughters and confident sons? However, I didn't really find the book to be as "eye-opening" as the back cover claims.

Part 1 discusses "A Clear Vision For Authentic Manhood and Womanhood". Although the book is written from a Christian perspective, I found it to contain many generalizations like "men think this way" and "women usually do this" rather than looking at what the Bible says men and women should be like. I do think that it is valuable to think about what qualities I hope to instill in my children by the time they are grown, to think about what I am aiming for in a sense. I just did not really care for the way the book went about it.

Part 2 is titled "Why Boys and Girls Need Mothers and Fathers". Again, not very eye-opening. The information in this section is pretty basic and did not really keep my interest. Sorry, but I was just not impressed with this book.

I received a copy of this book for review from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers. They obviously did not pay me to write this. ;)
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7 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Randy Mann on May 5, 2011
Format: Paperback
I just finished reading Secure Daughters, Confident Sons: How Parents Guide Their Children into Authentic Masculinity and Femininity, a book by Glenn T. Stanton. Stanton is the director for family formation studies at Focus on the Family, a Christian organization based in Colorado Springs, CO. He is writing with the background of "fifteen years of experience a as full-time researcher in family-strengthening work" and "practical experience of more than twenty-seven years of marriage and raising five children with [his] wife" (11).

I must say that, overall, I was terribly disappointed - not by what Stanton said, but rather by what he did not say. The problem is not so much that the content of the book is incorrect, as sociological observance goes. The problem is that, from a foundational Christian perspective, it is woefully incomplete.

One could applaud the fact that the author would even take on such a politically and emotionally-charged topic, particularly in the midst of a culture that demonstrates significant gender-confusion. Stanton recognizes a significant space between the two extremes of, on the one hand, hard-lined gender stereotypes of "rough boys" and "girlie girls," and, on the other hand, dismissing gender distinctions as minimal or inconsequential. His stated purpose for writing is to "gain a clearer understanding of what's truly and authentically male or female and how this translates into parenting children who are distinctly unique from us, in partnership with a spouse whose essential makeup is fundamentally different from our own" (3). Accordingly, Stanton's end goal is "nothing other than a healthy family of well-adjusted, happy human beings, because to be human is to be gendered" (4).
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