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Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers #1) [Kindle Edition]

Tara Sivec , Madison Seidler
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,539 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $12.00
Kindle Price: $3.99
You Save: $8.01 (67%)

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Burning Down George Orwell's House
Burning Down George Orwell's House
Pulitzer Prize and PEN/Faulkner Award finalist Robert Stone describes Burning Down George Orwell's House as a "… most enjoyable, a witty, original turn … one part black comedy and one part a meditation on modern life. It is well-written and truly original." Learn more about the author, Andrew Ervin

Book Description

Warning #1: This book is not to be taken seriously. Do not read this if you don't have the sense of humor of a 15 year old boy. Do not read this if you ARE a fifteen year old boy. This book is totally crude and inappropriate and uses the word "vagina" a lot. No, I mean A LOT. If you don't think people who are drunk are hilarious, you shouldn't read this book. You probably shouldn't read this book if you aren't drunk yourself. You should probably just put this book down and get drunk. You may think that no one in the world talks like the people in this book, but they do. They are called "people who are funny and inappropriate". This book is completely unrealistic; the author is aware of that fact and did it on purpose.

2012 Goodreads Choice Award Nominee - Best Romance

Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he’s asleep) toddler a better life.

When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time.

With Carter’s undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire’s panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.

Warning #2: contains explicit sex, profanity and enough sarcasm to choke a horse.


Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Tara Sivec is a wife, mom, chauffeur, soccer coach, babysitter, short-order cook, genius and the funniest person she's ever met. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two kids. In her spare time she likes to write and make people spit Diet Coke out of their nose. Most of her material comes from real life experiences with family and friends. Lucky for them, the names have been changed to protect the innocent (aka, drunk).

Product Details

  • File Size: 2742 KB
  • Print Length: 261 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B008AZTUU8
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,711 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
61 of 65 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Consider me seduced and hungry June 21, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have never laughed so much then turn around and needed a cold shower. My solution: read in the shower...until my husband kept asking why I was laughing so hard in the bath! I really connected with this book. It's nice to see someone else with such sarcasm, insecurities, and desires all wrapped into one vibrator-filled package! Usually I read to get away from life and chose fictional stories, but this one had such a reality to it and I didn't mind at all. Claire is my hero! Great story! Vagina clown-cars and all :) A Must read for anyone looking for a good time :)
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62 of 71 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars 10++++++ Stars! Favorite Book Ever! August 18, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Read more of my reviews (and the stuff Amazon made me edit out) and rants at Ana's Attic Sexy Tales.

I am in love. Yes, I have a total girl crush on Tara Sivec. Move over Christian Grey, I'm switching teams. I am ready to move near Tara and stalk her so I can be her best friend (and maybe lick her face a little. I love her that much). Or maybe it's the characters she wrote I want to hang with. Or are they one in the same?

Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec is hands down my new favorite book. I laughed so much during this book scary things were happening to my body. Seriously. I was eating chips (damn my husband for leaving those Bugles out!) and one SHOT out my nose. At the same time, my tampon dislodged itself (thank God that didn't shoot all the way out too!) I had a little cough while reading this, so every time I laughed, I would break into a coughing fit. My family had 911 on speed dial. My husband has been looking at me like I grew two heads and mumbling "uh oh, she's at it again" every time I picked up the book to read more. I kept having to put this book down because I didn't want it to end, and my face, stomach and chest muscles started hurting.

So here is the plot. The book opens with Claire talking about how much she had no desire for rugrats. (I get this, I was married 7 years before I went off the pill.) Claire is a trash talking, diarrhea of the mouth, ADD riddled woman that you can't help but relate to and fall in love with. But at 20 years old, she was desperate to give up her v-card. She met this amazing, swoony guy at a frat party.

"I'm a quirky, intelligent, dark haired chick! Me, me, me, pick me! And who the hell keeps whining and ruining my perfect moment? I will cut a b*#ch.
Read more ›
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29 of 34 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book Ever!!!! August 14, 2012
By Mom1234
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have read lots & lots of books! This just make my #1 on my fav list. Its a mix of sexy and hilariousness (is that a word? is now!)all wrapped up in one awesome book! I want to yell at the roof tops for all my fellow book peeps to read! So I am doing the best I can do to spread the word. The only other book I have laughed out loud at is "One for The Money" Series-this one had my husband reading over my shoulder giggling with me! Best $6 ever spent! BUY IT!!!!
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Okay. Don't you hate it when you're the one person whose review is totally out of line with everyone else's? I don't disagree with the other reviewers that this author can be very funny. IMHO, however, the humor gets tired and even tedious after a while.

I liked the opening chapters and bits and pieces of the rest of the book as well. The thing is, the characters act and talk like they're closer to 15 than 25 and have that young type of sex-related humor which, to me, gets boring after a while. Similarly, a lot of the book is chick-lit/Bridget Jones type humor where the protagonist is always doing things to embarrass herself (in this book often related to sex) which other people hear or see and she is mortified. For me, that kind of humor gets tiring as well. Better is the kid and the mommy humor: "I will not sell my child to gypsies. I will not sell my child to gypsies." Much of the opening chapters are this latter type of humor and why I ordered the book after reading the sample.

The love story is rather silly, more like something one would find in a young adult novel (maybe even younger than that given the rather mature level of some young adult novels) but with sexual thoughts and some sexual action thrown in. I think you have to be younger than I am to enjoy this novel--but then again, given the great reviews, maybe not. But if you have limited tolerance for juvenile sex and chick lit type humor, you might want to consider giving this one a pass.

TEXT TO SPEECH PROBLEM. The text to speech software did not recognize either periods or question marks in this book file so the book read like a run-on sentence, making it difficult to understand at times. The software recognize and pause for commas.
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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars not even worth the 99cents April 9, 2013
By P
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
That's all, there is no plot, no character development, and a huge amount of swear words, I use curse words everyday and I dont mind reading theme, but c'mon this was unbearable.
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21 of 27 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Blech March 31, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
For fun, I did a Kindle search comparing how many times the author uses the word "vagina" compared to the word "chocolate." After all, a main story line in the book is the protagonist loves to bake and is opening a bakery, and it is well documented that she smells like chocolate a lot. In fact, the word chocolate is in the title. There 110 uses of the word "chocolate" in the book compared to 125 times that the word "vagina" is used. I was about to gauge my eyes out if I saw the word "vagina" again. Funny first chapter, yes, and then the rest of the book completely crashed and burned. I feel compelled to write a 1-star review so other schmucks like me won't assume it's a good book because it has so many good reviews.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars *****Five Chocolate Lovin' Stars*****
"F@ck me gently with a chainsaw" this book was freaking fantastically funny.

I can't remember the last time I craughed so hard. Read more
Published 4 days ago by LillyMayEmerald
5.0 out of 5 stars Laughter Abounds!
This was a refreshing, funny, heartwarming story. I loved the "realness" of it. Gavin by far was the best part!! Love the sweet innocence of children. Read more
Published 8 days ago by Melissa S
4.0 out of 5 stars but it was sometimes a good
this is the first of the series, and while it was quirky to read, the language got to be a bit much at times.... but it was sometimes a good laugh
Published 11 days ago by E. J. T.
5.0 out of 5 stars Funniest book ever!
Warning: Do NOT drink or eat while reading this book. You will either spit everywhere or choke! I have never laughed so hard reading a book. Read more
Published 13 days ago by KBirnley
5.0 out of 5 stars Still laughing... in a good way.
This read was completely engaging and laugh-out-loud funny. From the first page I was hooked. Tara Sivec is a master of the word. Read more
Published 14 days ago by CT Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars 5 Brilliantly Funny Stars
This is my second reread of this story and I think I laugh harder each time I read it. Claire and her friends are so close and all up in each other's business that it feels like... Read more
Published 15 days ago by A. Tallman
5.0 out of 5 stars Laughed, Snorted and fell in love :)
5 Stars for making me laugh so hard my mascara ran making my eyes burn so I had to go wash it off and kept laughing while i did it. 😄
Published 22 days ago by Kindle Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars Could have been a great book
Book started with potential.. then went flat. No climax. Could have been a great book
Published 23 days ago by AAMommy
4.0 out of 5 stars ... really a cute story and it really is Laugh-out-Loud funny! I...
This was really a cute story and it really is Laugh-out-Loud funny! I enjoyed all of the characters and would recommend it for when you want a fun, light read.
Published 26 days ago by Pam
4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious!
Hilarious fun little love story! The ending fell flat, but I laughed constantly!
Published 28 days ago by 4everSLAUGHTERED
Search Customer Reviews

More About the Author

Tara Sivec is a USA Today best-selling author, wife, mother, chauffeur, maid, short-order cook, baby-sitter, and sarcasm expert. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two children and looks forward to the day when all three of them become adults and move out.

After working in the brokerage business for fourteen years, Tara decided to pick up a pen and write instead of shoving it in her eye out of boredom. She is the author of the Playing with Fire series, the Chocolate Lovers series , the Chocoholics series, the Fool Me Once series, Burned and Watch Over Me. Her novel Seduction and Snacks won first place in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2013 for Best Indie First Book and she was voted Best Indie Author in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2014.

In her spare time, Tara loves to dream about all of the baking she'll do and naps she'll take when she ever gets spare time.

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