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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Disappointing, July 22, 2003
Radice's translations do injustice to Tagore and books such as this one (along with Tagore's own inadequate transations of his work) might end up misleading Western critics. The strength of his poetry is in his command on language, the musicality of his verse and, in general, the formal perfection of his work. Although some of his later work was in free verse, Tagore was undoubtedly a formalist. He took the metrical and rhythmic patterns of classical Sanskrit poetry and also traditional narrative Bengali verse and either retained them or experimented with them by splitting whole units into shorter lines (consider, for example, Balaka) as dictated by needs of movement and development. One of the almost insurmountable difficulties of translating formal poetry is that meter (along with sonic devices) is inextricably linked to meaning and the translator, somehow, has to convey both.This is where Radice fails miserably. Let me simply cite the opening two lines of his translation of "Golden Boat" (Shonar Tari) along with the original. Translation: Clouds rumbling in the sky; teeming rain. I sit on the river bank, sad and alone. Original: gagane garaje megh ghana barasha kule eka boshe achhi, nahi bharasha In Bengali, unlike in English, it is the consonant count (note that joint consonants are counted as one) and not the syllable count that defines a given meter. Here, we have a truncated fourteen-beat meter with a caesura after the eigth beat. The "ga" sounds are onomatopoeic, after the roaring of the clouds. Subsequently, the use of softer consonants indicates a draining of tension and reflects the loss of hope on the part of the narrator. Radice's version lacks any discernible meter and most importantly, the cohesion of sound and sense. The only device he uses is a slant rhyme and this, by itself, falls short of conveying the music of Tagore's verse. Other weaknesses include the unhappy gerund and the prosaic modifiers. Although the loss of formalism remains the primary failing of Radice's translations, there are other drawbacks. Reading Tagore aloud is always a pleasure because language in his hands is not only expression but can be read for sound alone. Those long polysyllabic compounds, the internal rhymes, the effortless alliteration are always a delight, no matter what the content, be it some his later abstruse works (of which I am not particularly fond) or his purely narrative poems. Radice's translations lack this linguistic richness and are bland for the most part. Worse, he has a penchant for cliches ("bright as a million suns", "sea of joy surges through his heart" etc.). One might as well ask, "What is the point?" Submitted incognito, these poems would be rejected by even middling journals. I can only guess what impressions critics unfamiliar with Bengali might form of Tagore's work, particularly in relation to his contemporaries, Yeats, Pounds and Stevens. I would refer them to selected translations by Radice's wife, Ketaki Kushari Dyson. "I won't let you go" (Jete nahi dibo), in particular, is well rendered.
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