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Self-Assertion for Women Paperback – March 13, 1992


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Self-Assertion for Women + When I Say No, I Feel Guilty + The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: HarperOne; Rev Sub edition (March 13, 1992)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0062501259
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062501257
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #530,109 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Pamela Butler is a Clinical Psychologist who has been in practice since 1972 in Mill Valley, California. She was born in Tuscaloosa Alabama and graduated Phi Beta Kappa from the University of Alabama in 1967. She received her Ph.D. degree in 1971. Dr. Butler came to California to complete a Postdoctoral Fellowship at the University of California at Berkeley. She began working for the Behavior Therapy Institute in Sausalito, California where she conducted assertiveness training groups. This led to her first book, Self Assertion for Women, which has sold over 100,000 copies. Realizing that individuals in her assertive training groups spoke to themselves in ways they would never speak to another person led to her second book Talking to Yourself. Along with the bestseller, Feeling Good, it was among the first books to be published for the general audience on the newly emerging field of cognitive therapy. This book sold well and was also published in French, Japanese and Chinese. Dr. Butler loves animals, especially cats and horses, and enjoys Renaissance history and costumes.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Marcia Naomi Berger on January 20, 2009
Format: Paperback
Pamela Butler does a terrific and thorough job walking women through the obstacles we face to asserting ourselves. She explains step-by-step with numerous examples and sample scripts how to assert in a way that respects both oneself and the other.

Over the years I have found this book excellent personally and professionally. After recommending it to patients in my psychotherapy practice, I have been impressed by how they have been able to incorporate Butler's teachings into their lives.

Butler writing combines serious professionalism with a down-to-earth approach that is accessible to people of all levels of psychological sophistication. While women have some gender related issues that canget in the way of self-assertion, they do not have a monopoly on difficulties in this area; many men can gain much from reading this book.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Riça Night on May 10, 2009
Format: Paperback
While geared toward women, this book also contains much that's proven useful to men I know. Butler offers accessible, sensible advice on, among other subjects, how to set limits, handle criticism, and distinguish between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

The chapter "What Are You Telling Yourself?" serves as a fine introduction to self-talk; for more on this topic, see Butler's other classic, "Talking to Yourself."

So many of us have been trained to "be nice at any cost"--even when doing so means suppressing and denying our most essential selves and thereby incurring a host of unfortunate consequences, from not fulfilling our potential to full-blown chronic depression (with which women are diagnosed at a rate nearly twice that observed in men). One chapter, "Slef-Assertion in Your Professional Life," contains a fine section on "Positive Self-Presentation," which discusses why women often have such a hard time acknowledging their own competence, strengths, and accomplishments; it's worth a review by anyone who wants to succeed in the business world.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Jaye on December 7, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you have ever had trouble expressing your boundaries, this is the book for you. It gives clear concise ways to say No very clearly without being offensive. It changed the way I deal with those people who are slightly but annoyingly obnoxious.
I had a house guest who didn't seem to be leaving. The situation gave me a headache, as my "hints" were not working. I read the book, decided what to say, said it, and was amazed at how easily I was understood and respected.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By TSC on February 11, 2012
Format: Paperback
I have read this wonderful book 4 times and keep it close at hand. It is a tool kit for me both personally and professionally. I wish I had read it in high school! The well explained techniques work like a charm. Fogging, setting limits, and use of muscle are just a few of my favorites. There is no fluff in this book---every chapter is useful and grounded in real world scenarios. I also like how Dr. Butler makes a clear distinction between assertion and aggression. A woman can be assertive and still be "feminine". It's a powerful message; one that I'm passing on to my daughters.
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Written by a clinical psychologist, this 1981 issue is a readable, practical book that speaks specifically to women's need for being assertive. Subjects discussed include depression, nonverbal messages, expressing negative feelings, setting limits, power and female/male relationships. The format of the book is easy to follow, the terminology is well defined, and the author includes realistic examples and exercises. For the quantity of material and honest sensible approach, the book is a good buy.

(Previously published in "Daughters of Sarah" Jan/Feb 1983.)
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