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Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back Paperback – March 2, 2010
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- Lisa Wise, Steele Memorial Lib., Elmira,
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
I'm guessing most people read self help books for the purpose of betterment. They want to improve their lives, not just read something 20 times over and over again about what the problem is. The authors simply believe that the problem is that the process of decision making becomes relegated to the subconscious mind over time and that the subconscious can make negative decisions instead of positive ones. There, that one sentence, gives you the whole gist of this book. They give no practical insight as to how to solve this problem, they merely describe it in dull, psychological text type writing. I was very disappointed. I am writing this review for the next person who might be tempted by the title, not realizing it has nothing to offer in terms of personal growth, merely description of a problem and a psychological description.
The best book I have seen that specifically addresses how we can reclaim our mental, emotional and spiritual power from the traps we ourselves have built and continue to nourish is "Self-Defeating Behaviors" by Cudney and Hardy. On second reading, it is a truly phenomenal work. I have already purchased and distributed over two dozen copies. It provides a dynamic model of the way we construct, defend and nurture our self-defeating behaviors, while we simultaneously minimize the real pain heaped upon us and the people around us, and abdicate responsibility for the whole thing!
We are each of us presented with a continuous stream of new moments of life, in which we exercise choices. Each of these choices can lead either to a self-defeating behavior or to a behavior that affirms and honors life. At certain times, we "learn" (i.e. we make an invalid association) that we can avoid work/pain/criticism or other fear by choosing a certain escapist behaviors or thoughts.Read more ›
This book made a major difference in my life. We all have many kinds of relationships and roles to play in life, and one of those relationships lasts the longest -- from cradle to grave. That's the relationship I have with myself. In my case, that means John Prin's relationship with John Prin. I can be my worst enemy or my best friend. What the authors showed me was that it is my choice. I choose how I relate to me, whether I acknowledge it or not.
The main theme? When unhealthy choices are made, we choose self-defeating behaviors that separate us from our core attitudes, beliefs, feelings and values. When healthy choices are made, we choose "life-enhancing behaviors" that fit or strengthen our core being. Over time, depending on the mix of choices, our lives are either headed for breakdowns or breakthroughs. Thanks to the wisdom and clarity in this book, along with the easy-to-understand charts and diagrams, breakthroughs in my life are happening on a scale I never dreamed possible.
The pace is methodical but not plodding. Every sentence and paragraph makes sense as you read it. The authors strive to help readers to define and to behave in ways that serve their own best interests, and to create better selves from the inside out -- as I have learned to do and described in my book STOLEN HOURS. For anyone who has dealt with puzzling failures or intense negative emotions, including addictions and crippling moods, the information and encouragement in this book are a godsend.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I'm not a psychologist so I can't debate his techniques but this book has helped me observe myself and I always find myself thinking back to something I read. Read morePublished 1 month ago by sara
I never got the whole butterfly thing on the cover. I kept thinking the butterfly was about to get murdered.I couldnt get it out of my head And it affects cted my feelings. Read morePublished 11 months ago by Laz Pujol
This book is absolutely excellent in deconstructing the hidden ways we engage in conclusions, beliefs and decisions that deprive us of the freedom of our best choices to thrive. Read morePublished 13 months ago by Morgan
Very helpful! If you can't afford therapy, the next best thing is self-help books. Thank you!Published 14 months ago by Trish