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Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back Again [Hardcover]

Norah Vincent
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (194 customer reviews)


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Book Description

January 19, 2006 0670034665 978-0670034666 1ST
Following in the tradition of John Howard Griffin (Black Like Me) and Barbara Ehrenreich (Nickel and Dimed), Norah Vincent absorbed a cultural experience and reported back on what she observed incognito. For more than a year and a half she ventured into the world as Ned, with an ever-present five o’clock shadow, a crew cut, wire-rim glasses, and her own size 111/2 shoes—a perfect disguise that enabled her to observe the world of men as an insider. The result is a sympathetic, shrewd, and thrilling tour de force of immersion journalism that’s destined to challenge preconceptions and attract enormous attention.

With her buddies on the bowling league she enjoyed the rough and rewarding embrace of male camaraderie undetectable to an outsider. A stint in a high-octane sales job taught her the gut- wrenching pressures endured by men who would do anything to succeed. She frequented sex clubs, dated women hungry for love but bitter about men, and infiltrated all-male communities as hermetically sealed as a men’s therapy group, and even a monastery. Narrated in her utterly captivating prose style and with exquisite insight, humor, empathy, nuance, and at great personal cost, Norah uses her intimate firsthand experience to explore the many remarkable mysteries of gender identity as well as who men are apart from and in relation to women. Far from becoming bitter or outraged, Vincent ended her journey astounded—and exhausted—by the rigid codes and rituals of masculinity. Having gone where no woman (who wasn’t an aspiring or actual transsexual) has gone for any significant length of time, let alone eighteen months, Norah Vincent’s surprising account is an enthralling reading experience and a revelatory piece of anecdotally based gender analysis that is sure to spark fierce and fascinating conversation.



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The disguise that former Los Angeles Times op-ed columnist Vincent employed to trick dozens of people into believing her a man was carefully thought out: a new, shorter haircut; a pair of rectangular eyeglasses; a fake five o'clock shadow; a prosthetic penis; some preppy clothes. It was more than she needed. "[A]s I became more confident in my disguise... the props I had used... became less and less important, until sometimes I didn't need them at all," Vincent writes. Gender marking, she found, is more about attitude than appearance. Vincent's account of the year and a half she spent posing as a man is peppered with such predictable observations. To readers of gender studies literature, none of them will be especially illuminating, but Vincent's descriptions of how she learned, and tested, such chestnuts firsthand make them awfully fun to read. As "Ned," Vincent joined an all-male bowling league, dated women, worked for a door-to-door sales force, spent three weeks in a monastery, hung out in strip clubs and, most dangerous of all, went on a Robert Bly–style men's retreat. She creates rich portraits of the men she met in these places and the ways they behaved—as a lesbian, she's particularly good at separating the issues of sexuality from those of gender. But the most fascinating part of the story lies within Vincent herself—and the way that censoring her emotions to pass as a man provoked a psychological breakdown. For fans of Nickel and Dimed–style immersion reporting, this book is a sure bet. (Jan. 23)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

*Starred Review* Vincent's first experiment in cross-dressing came on a dare from an acquaintance who was a drag king. When she experienced the intoxicating invisibility and safety that came from wearing the disguise, she wanted to learn more. For 18 months, she disguised herself as a man, renamed herself Ned, joined a men's bowling league, visited strip bars, and dated women. Along the way, she found that the freedom and privileges enjoyed by men were counterbalanced by a constant testing and severe limits on emotions. She also found women to be distrustful, ever ready to criticize men for being emotionally distant yet clearly preferring men who met stereotypical images of strength and virility. Vincent is frank about her experiences--the hard business of sexual transactions devoid of emotions, the easy bonding between men, fear of sexual attraction among men, and, ultimately, the explosion of her own notions of sex roles. She also explores the guilt she feels about her deception. Writing from the perspective of a gay woman who had a view of the male world that women don't get to see, Vincent finds unexpected complexities in the men she meets and in herself as well. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Viking Adult; 1ST edition (January 19, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0670034665
  • ISBN-13: 978-0670034666
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (194 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #331,414 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

The premise of this book is interesting, they style is humorous and the book very well written. M. Rensel  |  48 reviewers made a similar statement
The book is worth reading for the stories. Fiona Guillory  |  45 reviewers made a similar statement
I wouldn't call it feminist. beckyjean  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
130 of 136 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An Eye-Opener in Every Way.... January 19, 2006
Format:Hardcover
I was lured by the title/cover photo....I was hooked by the synopsis and thought this would make a diverting read. I knew I would laugh at Ms. Vincent's exploits and adventures, what I was completely unprepared for was the sense of sadness that overcame me as I finished 'Self-Made Man'.

In her guise as "Ned", the author explores such bastions of manhood as strip-clubs, the world of dating women, a monastery and a men's support group. Her experiences are intriguing as well as entertaining and will make most people think about how men and women are perceived by each other.

I think this book should be required reading for any woman who is currently married, engaged to or in a relationship with a man. It made me seriously examine my attitudes towards men and my perceptions of their behavior. It underscores so sublimely the need for men and women to HONESTLY communicate with each other...on ALL levels.

The most telling point for me was when the author was at the men's support group retreat, when the members drew their heros & some drew Atlas holding up the world.

Read this book with an open mind, whether you are male or female and you will see there is more to it than just a cool stunt just for its own sake. I hope people will pick it up and give it a chance.
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153 of 164 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Norah Vincent is a respected journalist who went "under cover" by dressing as a man for an extended period of time. She interacted with men and women in various contexts: joining a bowling league, working a high-pressure sales job, even spending weeks at a monastery. She writes candidly about her experiences in "Self-Made Man." The book is funny in many places, unexpectedly poignant in others, as Vincent discovers some unsettling truths about what it's like to be a guy in today's world. The book is particularly refreshing in that it is not a guy-bashing book: one of Vincent's conclusions is that it is difficult to be a man and she writes about the different expectations and cultural conventions that affect the way men act and interact. Vincent is also frank about the effect her deception had on her: she is troubled by her deception and writes in the last chapter about her own emotional breakdown after she leaves her alter ego "Ned" behind.

A thoughtful, honest, fascinating book that will make you laugh and make you think. Brava, Ms. Vincent!
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95 of 103 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Well written, insightful, quirky and VERY entertaining January 20, 2006
Format:Hardcover
I gained more insight into male behavior from Ms. Vincent's viewpoint than I have as 46 years of living as one myself. I'm extremely glad she didn't do a superficial travel log through the world of men, or a "why men suck" type of expose.

The only thing that I didn't like about the book is that it left me wanting more information on some of the friends she met as Ned. Her writing made me as fond of her cohorts as she seemed to become herself.

Highly recommended reading that folks will clearly be talking about more and more.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful Perspective
I am surprised this book hasn't engendered more interest than it has. Although I haven't completed the book, it reminds me of John Howard Griffin's study, "Black LIke Me. Read more
Published 13 days ago by Chance Gardener
2.0 out of 5 stars Sad and depressing
Very depressing part of a man's life. Always seeking the seedy promiscuous bars. Quite revolting. One thing the book did was make me so grateful I am not part of that way of life.
Published 18 days ago by Vicky Gulevich
5.0 out of 5 stars Walking a mile in someone else's shoes
It took a lot of guts for Ms. Vincent to pursue this endeavor. I credit her for pursuing such a difficult task; she has done a fantastic job writing about it.
Published 1 month ago by Neal Verma
5.0 out of 5 stars I gave this to my wife to read!
The idea that a lesbian would decide to impersonate a man to learn about a man's world was enticing. That she developed compassion for men was comforting! Read more
Published 1 month ago by Eric Wilson
4.0 out of 5 stars Thought Provoking and Deep
This book sounds strange on the outside, but it's incredibly thought provoking. It lends itself to examining what within myself makes me a 'man' and it's a great look at the 'Bro... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Kristofer Bolz
5.0 out of 5 stars Self-made man
A terrific read. Very interesting insights into the thought processes of the opposite sex. Quite challenging in some ways, but totally fascinating.
Published 1 month ago by C. DeVere
3.0 out of 5 stars Not bad
Fairly well-written. Scientific and as objective as could be with such an embedded sociological subject. Interesting, too. I'd give it a 3.5 if they had it.
Published 1 month ago by C. Hess
4.0 out of 5 stars GENDER BLENDER
Take one part female, one part male, mix in a transgendered-male with a a few shakes of transgendered-female and what do you get? Read more
Published 2 months ago by Sherril Smoger-Kessous
4.0 out of 5 stars Wish I could finish it...
I unfortunately never got the chance to finish this book. The concept of it made me instantly intregued. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Krissy
5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting
Fascinating view into the world of men as seen by a woman. Sometimes she seems blinded to certain aspects of the male world due to not belonging to it, but other times her status... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Sesostris
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Topic From this Discussion
Women passing as men -- how do men react?
Since there are quite a few requests for male perspectives on this book, I'll try and give my best.

I chose to read this book because I'm 34, a professional male who's seeking to re-enter the dating scene with halting success after a number of years of self-imposed celibacy. Not that I wished... Read more
Jul 21, 2009 by Throckmorton Scribblemonger |  See all 11 posts
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