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Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition Paperback – January 27, 2012


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Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition + Self-Therapy Workbook: An Exercise Book For The IFS Process + Illustrated Workbook for Self-Therapy for Your Inner Critic: Transforming Self-Criticism into Self-Confidence
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 338 pages
  • Publisher: Pattern System Books (January 27, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0984392777
  • ISBN-13: 978-0984392773
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #20,202 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Editorial Reviews

Review

The fact that Jay Earley wrote this book is high praise for the IFS model because he was an accomplished writer and thinker long before encountering IFS. Jay's passion has been to introduce IFS to a lay audience so that people can work with their parts on their own. Through well-described experiential exercises and examples of actual IFS sessions, you will be able to enter your inner world, heal your extreme parts, and transform them into valuable resources." --Richard Schwartz, PhD, creator of IFS, from the Foreword

Enormously hopeful and empowering, this book illuminates the process of Internal Family Systems (IFS) as a method of self-therapy that centers on the revolutionary principle that all of us have a Self. Presenting a view of the human psyche with this calm, compassionate, curious Self at the center, Jay Earley takes the reader step-by-step through a method of self-exploration which views overwhelming emotion and dysfunctional behavior as stemming from parts that are doing their best to help the person survive. Earley's writing is beautifully organized and clear,as compassionate and respectful as the process he is teaching, and the reader is supported and encouraged at every step. Anyone wishing to live a fuller, richer,more meaningful life, or help others do so, needs to read this book. --Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD, author of The Power of Focusing and The Radical Acceptance of Everything

The non-pathologizing and empowering aspects of the IFS Model find their ultimate expression in Dr. Earley's book, Self-Therapy. Exercises, illustrations, and session transcripts supplement this detailed approach for individuals to safely work alone or with a peer to transform their inner worlds dominated by outmoded beliefs to lives filled with love, compassion, and connection. Therapists, too, will appreciate this clear map of the inner territory of the psyche and will find this book a valuable and accessible resource for their clients. --Susan McConnell, senior IFS trainer

Jay has the gift of both insight and teaching--and he uses both in his new book. He allows us access to the many many layers of our selves and helps us to understand, work with and ultimately feel harmonious with behaviors that have baffled us. Self-therapy is a wonderful cogent guide written by a wonderful cogent teacher. --Geneen Roth, author of When Food is Love and Women Food and God --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

From the Author

Is It Truly Possible To Resolve Psychological Issues Through a Self-Help Book?

Have you ever been in a positive mood only to have something seemingly very small happen, perhaps someone made a casual off-handed criticism of you, but for some weird reason you felt immediately deflated, and found yourself feeling almost like a child again, small, afraid, and helpless?

Have you ever lost your temper with someone you really care about, maybe even someone you love very much, but suddenly you found yourself saying things and acting in ways that were not the way you really feel about that person, and later you regretted your actions deeply?

Have you ever really wanted to find the motivation to do something in your life, like start a new diet plan for example, but despite all your best efforts, you felt as if something was sabotaging you, and maybe you even found yourself standing in front of an open refrigerator at midnight, staring longingly at the rest of that chocolate cake?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, there is nothing to worry about, and you are certainly not alone.

In fact, from the viewpoint of "Internal Family Systems" (IFS), you are perfectly normal.

The problem in each of these situations is simply a part (or parts) that is over-reacting. In the first case, there is a part that is holding you back that you're not aware of. In the second, there is a part that exploded in anger.

Most of us prefer to think of ourselves as one, unitary, sensible personality. But human beings are not as simple and straightforward as we may like to think.

In reality, we are complex systems of interacting parts, each with a variety of emotions and motivations.

IFS has a sophisticated way of working with your "parts," which are natural divisions in the psyche, sometimes called subpersonalities. This approach has been rapidly spreading across the entire country for the past decade and is being applauded by patients and therapists for its incredible effectiveness.

You can think of these parts as little people inside of you. Each with their own perspectives, beliefs, feelings, memories, and motivations.

Some of your parts are in pain. Some of your parts want to protect you from pain. Some of your parts try to manage how you interact with others. Some of your parts are even locked in battles with each other that have been going on for years.

And most of the time, all of this is completely outside our awareness.

All we know is that sometimes we feel great, sometimes we feel nervous, sometimes we feel frustrated, confused, angry, and so on. And if we are honest with ourselves, we don't really understand why.

Your True Self, The Source of All Healing

Unfortunately many people spend their whole lives thinking that this surface dance of emotional states is all there is to life. However, underlying this cast of characters, and within every human being is the true Self that is wise, calm, open and loving.

IFS is specifically designed to help you access this Self. Once you are in touch with your Self, from this incredible place of strength and love, you can connect with your troubled parts and heal them.

It's through the Self that you can heal your own wounds and watch as all of your parts reclaim and reveal their natural strength and goodness.



What Makes IFS So Powerful?


Internal Family Systems is more powerful than other therapeutic approaches for three main reasons:
  1. The Self. Healing comes from your true Self, and IFS has innovative ways of helping to access your Self and remain there during a session.
  2. Internal Love. IFS has discovered that all your parts are doing their best to help and protect you. This means that you don't have to fight them or try to get rid of them. You can connect with them from the compassion of Self and develop cooperative, trusting relationships with them. This makes transformation much easier.
  3. A Step-by-Step Procedure. IFS understands the complex structure of the psyche and has developed a sophisticated procedure for healing each of your parts. There is no guesswork. You don't wallow around for years in your childhood. IFS has laser-like precision and efficiency.
Self-Therapy: A Complete Guide To Psychological HealingTherapy does not have to be difficult, time-consuming or expensive.

Relief from chronic, painful, life-long emotional issues, such as depression and anxiety, is possible and can be entirely in your control.

You simply need an effective framework for understanding and communicating with the various parts of yourself, along with a step-by-step process for transforming these parts into healthy resources.

This is the promise of Self-Therapy, a clear guide by Dr. Jay Earley that explains exactly how to you can heal deep wounds, resolve stuck places, and restore wholeness, strength, self-confidence, and joy to your life.


What Makes Self-Therapy So Effective?

1. It is based on Internal Family Systems, a full-fledged form of therapy.
IFS is actually much much more than another therapeutic technique.
In actuality it is both a revolutionary way of understanding the human psyche and a complete practice for learning to love yourself and others.
Self-Therapy teaches you to engage in IFS sessions on your own or with a partner. You learn a complete method of therapy, designed from years of clinical work with a wide variety of individuals and a wide range of psychological challenges.

2. IFS is a user-friendly form of therapy.
The IFS model taught in Self-Therapy is not only effective but also extraordinarily user friendly.
It is natural to visualize your parts, give them names, and talk to them. It brings your psyche alive in a way that is easy to grasp.

3. IFS is based on the Self, so it can be used without a therapist.
In IFS it is not the therapist or any outside force that "fixes" you.
In IFS the source of healing is You; the source of healing is your true Self.
Your true Self is who you really are in the deepest sense.
Your true Self is compassionate, openly curious, connected, and calm.
Even when working with a therapist or another IFS practitioner, it is always your true Self that is the agent of healing in the IFS approach.
As you introduce your suffering parts to the Self, they each develop a trusting and healing relationship with the Self.
Through this, an unstoppable momentum of transformation unfolds.

4. Self-Therapy brings IFS to life.

It contains transcripts of actual sessions and illustrations that bring parts vividly to life. It also has help sheets that outline the IFS process which you can use during sessions to know what to do next. And there are exercises that can be be applied directly from the book in your life.


Can Self-Therapy Help Me With My Issue?

Internal Family Systems can help with both mental health symptoms and a wide variety of complex life issues, such as:
  • Self-Esteem
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
  • Relationship Problems
  • Passive-Aggressive Behavior
  • Procrastination
  • Communication Issues
  • People Pleasing
  • Eating Issues
  • Perfectionism
  • Inner Critic
  • Fear and anxiety
  • Shyness
  • Phobias
  • Feelings of inner conflict
  • Insecurity on the job
A Must Read For Therapist And Client Alike

With Self-Therapy, Dr. Jay Earley makes the power of IFS accessible to everyone by teaching it as a complete method for psychological healing that anyone can use on their own.

And Self-Therapy is also the book of choice for therapists wanting to learn Internal Family Systems Therapy.

Therapists and existing IFS practitioners will appreciate this clear map of the IFS model, which includes transcripts from actual therapy sessions, illustrations that explain complex and subtle dynamics in the psyche, and detailed tips on how to proceed in various circumstances that may come up during a session.

Self-Therapy constitutes a complete manual for the IFS procedure.

Self-Therapy is simply an absolute must read for every therapist seeking to move their clients beyond tolerable recovery to a deeper, more complete process of healing.



Customer Reviews

Jay Earley clearly has a clear and insightful understanding of how this therapy works.
Nandi Devam
The book is written in an engaging and informative style and the accompanying illustrations help the novice to grasp new concepts easily.
G. R. Sykes
Don't expect to read this book or any book, and have easy answers or have most things figured out just like that.
D. Dunn

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

70 of 71 people found the following review helpful By Russ Pool on October 27, 2009
Format: Paperback
If you're wanting to learn IFS, GET THIS BOOK. I couldn't repeat that too much.

I took the official IFS Level I trainings, 6 long weekends and many thousand dollars. On the very last weekend I dove into "Self Therapy." It was only then that I got the practical how to of IFS. Jay Earley's writing made it click.

The author made what seemed so vague and impractical during the training come alive. His straight forward writing and descriptive images communicate the practical side. His introduction makes sense to my clients. His condensed version of an IFS session at the back of the book is worth the price several times over. Need I say more? If you want to learn IFS, GET THIS BOOK.
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82 of 86 people found the following review helpful By Prokopton on March 13, 2011
Format: Paperback
EDIT: One year on, this is still a good book but I now see the market is crowded with parts/ego states therapies and they are all good. I personally am coming to prefer some of the original stuff from the stream of the Watkinses, especially the work of Emmerson which I find technically superior to IFS and more comfortable for me -- in particular, I now don't agree with the parts typology of IFS which I think creates parts unnecessarily. (Yes I do think parts are created or anyway re-created by means of therapy; to observe something alters it.) There is also too much focus on the reality of imagined images in IFS and not enough on their malleability and ultimate unreality or virtuality.

I am docking a star but will let the original review stand below for reference -- I do try to do "longitudinal reviewing" for books of this type, updating after a period of time, because experience is the only real arbiter. (Many reviews here will be from people who haven't tried the techniques at length). One should also explore the parts therapy of Hunter if interested in hypnosis, which I am, and there is a new book by Noricks from last year that I haven't got to yet. Finally I think Schmidt's
...Read more ›
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37 of 38 people found the following review helpful By Kathy F. Grace on October 21, 2009
Format: Paperback
This text is invaluable for clinicians as well as for individuals who want to do internal psychological healing work on their own. Dr. Earley explains each concept in several different ways to ensure clarity and the illustrations are a great visual look at how our 'Parts' interact with each other. He had supplied comprehensive, exciting and 'do-able homework' that walks us through each concept. This methodology brings compassion and deep respect for client's and their 'Parts', while offering an experiential way for us to get to know our Selves.

I am on my second read and still catching nuances that I missed the first time. This will be a book that I will re-read many times and will consult frequently.
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28 of 30 people found the following review helpful By Peggy Stephens on October 12, 2009
Format: Paperback
Amazing state of the art therapy in a book. Not to be missed. I have been a therapist for 19 years and this book is one of only a handful of things that I have found that truly make a life changing difference in myself and in the lives of the people I help. It should be required reading for therapist and clients alike as well as anyone on the journey to more happiness and peace. My clients love it. It is easy enough for anyone to read yet is jammed full of life changing concepts and a new state of the art therapy that can be utilized immediately. This book will open your eyes to all the parts of yourself for you to know, understand, appreciate and love...which doesn't leave much room for self criticism! It's practical and down to earth yet can go as deep into the person as the reader chooses to go. This is not just another self help book...it's an offering of true healing on a silver platter.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Divia on February 18, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Reading Self-Therapy was extremely illuminating--as though someone had given me the missing manual for my brain. I now have difficulty imagining how I functioned without this understanding and perspective, and I think the short answer is that I didn't function nearly as well. This book is a reliable, straightforward set of instructions for transforming any unhealthy behavior or thought pattern, and releasing any unwanted emotional response. If that sounds too good to be true, it's also completely fun to do the work: I get to go into a trance state, peek behind the curtain of my mind, become conscious of what is driving my behavior, and solve the problem by being creative with imagery.

This book is a very clearly written and easy to understand set of instructions for doing IFS therapy, which is so powerful that I am somewhat confused about why everyone isn't using it. Self-Therapy profoundly improved my effectiveness at accomplishing my goals and increased my overall sense of well-being. I recommend it to everyone I know.

If you do read the book, my one recommendation is to actually try the process outlined within on yourself, preferably with a friend to help. It took me a while to figure out how to use the system, but ever since I have done so I have a method I know will work for gaining clarity, changing behavior patterns, and have fun while doing it, so no problem in my life feels intractable and suffering seems entirely optional. It's that powerful. Let this book change your life.
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