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Sellevision: A Novel [Kindle Edition]

Augusten Burroughs
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (182 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $14.00
Kindle Price: $8.89
You Save: $5.11 (36%)
Sold by: Macmillan

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Book Description

The hilarious first novel by the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors, Dry, A Wolf at the Table, and You Better Not Cry, Sellevision is Augusten Burrough's darkly funny and vastly entertaining skewering of a very troubled home-shopping channel.

Welcome to the world of Sellevision, America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much loved and handsome (that is, lonely and gay) host of a "Toys for Tots" segment, accidentally exposes himself in front of millions of kids, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max struggles to find a new job in television, the popular and perky host Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails from a stalker. Popping pills and drinking heavily, she fails to notice that her husband is spending a lot of time with the young babysitter who lives next door. Then there's Leigh, whose affair with married Sellevision boss Howard Toast is going nowhere until she announces their relationship on air. A blistering satire of our overcharged, scandal-obsessed world, Sellevision is "an absolute howl . . . wicked fun" (New York Daily News).



Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Light and funny, with a bitter aftertaste, the action of Sellevision takes place behind the scenes (and on the set) of a successful television shopping network, where a feminine role model, Peggy Jean Smythe, the married, Christian mother of three, begins receiving suspicious e-mail from a viewer who insists that Peggy's hairy earlobe is obscuring her presentation of jewelry during the broadcast. When Peggy fails to respond to the e-mail, but silently waxes her lobe, the cruel notes escalate, until Peggy believes herself to be suffering from a hormonal crisis that has given her a mustache, a gruff voice, and the manner of a lumberjack. Meanwhile, one of her cohosts, Max Andrews, has been fired for accidentally exposing himself during a children's special, and learns just how undesirable a commodity a penis-baring ex-Sellevision host can be on the job market. The book is an unusually smooth read for a first novel, with six or seven truly inspired lines. --Regina Marler

From Publishers Weekly

This gleeful satire of America's 24-hour, shop-till-you-drop culture lacks the depth and razor-sharp wit of Burrough's more established works (Running with Scissors, Magical Thinking, etc.), but the audio's colorful characters, brought skillfully to life by Miles, ensure that it's an entertaining ride. Initially, the choice of a female narrator surprises—since the story opens with Sellevision host Max Andrews getting booted from his position after accidentally exposing his penis during a "Toys for Tots" shopping segment. But as the audio meanders through the lives of hosts Peggy Jean Smythe, Trish Mission, Leigh Bushmore and Bebe Friedman, it becomes clear that Miles is well suited to the task. She adopts an appropriately prissy tone for the devout Peggy Jean while at the same time playing up the sleaziness of Peggy's husband, who's on a mission to seduce the nubile teen next door. Miles also does a fine job capturing Bebe's New York twang, mile-a-minute chatter and spontaneous laughter. Although Burroughs's characters often seem as disposable as the RemoteControLotion and Moisture-Whik Panties sold on Sellevision, this audio, like a good soap opera, still manages to hook listeners. A Picador paperback (Reviews, July 31, 2000). (Dec.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • File Size: 454 KB
  • Print Length: 240 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; Second Edition edition (April 1, 2010)
  • Sold by: Macmillan
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B002LHRL7A
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #153,452 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A sarcastic spoof April 10, 2008
Format:Paperback
I'm a big Augusten Burroughs fan, so it's no surprise that I really enjoyed this book. "Sellevision" is the first book that Burroughs ever wrote, and it's his only novel. The story revolves around the backstage antics at Sellevision, America's top retail shopping network. "Sellevision" is a satire, and it reminded me a lot of the Sally Field movie "Soapdish," in a good way. There are many colorful characters working at the station, and each one is involved in their own over-the-top crisis. The book opens with Sellevision's young homosexual host, Max, getting fired from the network because he accidentally displayed his penis on live television. Then there's Peggy Jane, one of the top female hosts at the station who's more than a little neurotic in her personal life. When Peggy Jane is harassed by a nasty e-mail stalker, she begins abusing drugs and alcohol until she plummets over the edge. Bebe, another top host at the network, always manages to sell out of her products on the air, but has a bit of a spending problem on the side. She's also been single for her entire life and finally meets the man of her dreams, but is he too good to be true?

Several other Sellevision hosts pepper this colorful novel, which is full of Burroughs' sarcasm and quick wit. This book is hilarious and completely exaggerated on so many levels, which is what makes it so much fun. I didn't feel a personal connection with this book the way I did with all of Burroughs' memoirs, but considering the frightening characters depicted in the story, that's probably a very good thing.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars INTERESTING SATIRE ON HOME SHOPPING NETWORKS July 15, 2003
Format:Paperback
If there ever was a gleefully mean-spirited book, this is it. It explores commercial avarice and obsession with sham celebrity in the world of a fictional home shopping network.
Welcome to the troubled world of "Sellevision", America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much-loved and handsome (lonely and gay) host of Slumber Sunday Sundown accidentally exposes himself in front of sixty million kids and their parents during a "Toys for Tots" segment, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max fails to find a job in television, another host, the popular and perky Peggy Jean Smythe, is receiving sinister emails about her appearance from a stalker. Popping pills and drinking heavily, she fails to notice that her husband is spending a lot of time with the very young babysitter who lives next door. Then there's Leigh, whose affair with Sellevision boss Howard Toast is going nowhere, until she exposes him on air; and Bebe, Sellevision's star host, who finds Mr. Right through the Internet ? if she can just stop her shopping addiction from taking over.
It is not merely the dysfunctional family of anchors that is subject to the author's satire, but perhaps the whole primping 15-minute culture of television as we know it in our world.
Truly hilarious, and a fast paced read. If this book's laconic humor works for you, try "Running with Scissors" as well, which is clearly an ever more mature and twice as hilarious Burroughs in top form.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A dark and clever farce! July 13, 2003
Format:Paperback
No book has made me laugh so much since Terry Southern's Candy. Sellevision, like Candy, is a clever and disarming satire that borders toward a parody. This novel has the sort of lowbrow humor that will make you roar with laughter and loathe the characters and situations at the same time.
Sellevision is a more upscale version of QVC. The hosts are third-tier celebrities who would backstab their way to the top. During the course of the year, the channel and its hosts undergo various changes. Max, the sweet and handsome gay host of "Toys for Tots," a children's segment, loses his job when he accidentally exposes himself during the aforementioned program. He hadn't anticipated the struggle to regain his career and reputation that he ends up enduring. On the other hand, Peggy Jean Smythe, one of the channel's most popular hosts, has the perfect life. That is until she receives sinister E-mails from an obsessed fan. The other hosts have skeletons in their dressing rooms as well. Will Leigh be able to end the courtship with her married boss? Will Bebe's shopaholism stand in the way of true love? Will Trish Mission finally become Sellevision's diva? Will Peggy Jean's husband be able to resist his desire for the beautiful - not to mention jailbait - babysitter? There are some hilarious twists throughout the novel.
As mentioned earlier, some of the goofball situations that occur in Sellevision are more of a parody about the ubiquitous home shopping networks that have become so popular over the years. This is one of the cleverest satirical novels out there. If you're in the bargain for a laugh-a-minute farce, I suggest that you give this dark comedy a whirl.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Have We Got A Deal For You...229 Pages of Hilarity September 5, 2000
Format:Paperback
This marvelously wicked and well written novel was a definite treat to read.
Augusten Burroughs will hook you with the very first sentence! What follows is a riotous behind-the-scenes romp through the world of the Sellevision Retail Broadcasting Network.
Witness egos clashing on a regular basis! Laugh as the on air talent creatively try to back-stab one another! This entertaining cast of characters are constantly jockeying for a better and more lucrative spot in the limelight, all the while trying to sell you and your family a Princess Diana key fob. It's a devilish mix of "Soapdish" and "American Beauty"!
This novel is a delight! Each and every character is well crafted. I still can't find one I like over another. Readers get a look at each of their personal lives, as well as their on-air ones. All of which are screwed up to various degrees! Hilariously so!
Of all the cast, Bebe Friedman is the proverbial rat in charge of the cheese. Not only is she one of Sellevision's most popular hosts; but, she also has an obsessive compulsive thing for shopping. Her $19,287.64 American Express bill is a testament to that fact. Plus, as she surmises, she knows that there will be someone somewhere in her life that will love a roulette wheel for a Christmas gift.
"Sellevision" is fast, sharp and funny. For his first novel, Augusten Burroughs does a fantastic job of entertaining the reader! I look forward to his next work!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars The real TV marketing story?
The problems of the central figures seemed to be simply neurotic and not very interesting. The big crisis of a major figure seemed implausible and at the same time disgusting.
Published 11 days ago by Dell
5.0 out of 5 stars Top Secret
The little-known book from the author of 'Running with Scissors' is short and silly, a behind the scenes peek into the lives of talk show salespeople.
Published 1 month ago by Bandana Split
3.0 out of 5 stars interesting, not what I expected
I love Mr. boroughs memoirs, and don't read the jacket before starting this book. I was expecting more real-life tragedy, but instead found myself drawn into these little fictional... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Ashie Roo
5.0 out of 5 stars Great fun!
A nice, light read surrounding the dark side of infomercials. I'll happily read anything by Augusten Burroughs - a winner!
Published 4 months ago by Emily A. Jebb
5.0 out of 5 stars sellevision
love all books be augusten burroughs, i have them all, i hope he keeps writing more novels. very interesting and sad at the same time
Published 4 months ago by MaryAnne Pusateri
5.0 out of 5 stars A+
Love Burroughs. This book is smart, witty and definitely keeps your attention. I suggest this and all of his other books.
Published 4 months ago by Jessica
2.0 out of 5 stars Augusten Burroughs . . .
Augusten Burroughs isn't my favorite author and this story is pretty much predictable, but it has it's ha's and hee's here and there. It's okay for a quick read. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Mathew Lee Dean
1.0 out of 5 stars Wow--What a Stupid Book
There may be a decent way to write a fictional book about a shopping network but this isn't it. This is written like something a 10th-grader would turn in for creative writing,... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Mediaman
3.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining book about shallow people.
It's an easy read about the hollowness of a few shallow tv personality people's lives. Not my favorite book by this author, but it was entertaining.
Published 9 months ago by Jennifer Head
5.0 out of 5 stars Sellevision
Augusten is one of my top 3 favorite authors. He can tell the most horrific thing with humor, grace and wit, as a survivor.
Published 10 months ago by Peg
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More About the Author

Augusten Burroughs is the author of the autobiographical works "Running with Scissors," "Dry," "Magical Thinking," "Possible Side Effects" and "A Wolf at the Table," all of which were New York Times bestsellers. "Running with Scissors" remained on the New York Times bestseller list for over two consecutive years and was made into a Golden Globe-nominated film starring Annette Bening. His only novel, "Sellevision," is currently in development as a series for NBC. "Dry," Augusten's memoir of his alcoholism and recovery, is being developed by Showtime. In addition, Burroughs is currently creating an original prime-time series for CBS. Augusten's latest book is called "You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas."

Twice named to Entertainment Weekly's list of the funniest people in America, Augusten has also been the subject of a Vanity Fair cover story and a Jeopardy! answer. His books have made guest appearances in two James Patterson novels, one Linkin Park music video, numerous television shows and a porn movie.

Augusten has been a photographer since childhood and many of his images can be seen on his website, www.augusten.com. He lives in New York City.

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