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Semenology - The Semen Bartender's Handbook Paperback – March 3, 2013
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Top Customer Reviews
But pretty soon it was in all my drinks. Then my food. Then it WAS my food. Stroking strangers in thruway rest stops, sometimes 10 or 11 in a day, just to keep myself supplied with the creamy demon. Eventually I couldn't get off by eating or drinking it at all.
You promise yourself the first time you smoke it that you'll never spike. Only addicts spike. You're just having fun, could stop anytime. That doesn't last long, those promises are forgotten in semen soaked flophouses, rubber tubing tied to your arm. Waking up dry and desperate... sucking the mattresses. It got bad. Real bad.
But I've turned my life around. 14 months clean today. You wouldn't believe the stories I hear at the meetings. Hell, you wouldn't believe half the stories I tell. So don't do it. Don't get started. Trust me, it can happen to you.
While a lot of the pledging process primarily involved "butt stuff", you could always count on someone to nut in your cup, if not directly into a bottle that we pledges had to chug. I gifted a copy to my entire pledge class, as well as one for behind the bar at the frat house. The times may have changed some since I was in school, but the sense of friendship, brotherhood, and semen slurping in Beta house never will! Shout out to my sponsor Big Tim and the class of 84, Love you bros!
I did not know I was gay until I read this book.
I was introduced to a cocktail called Pequeno Cerebo (little brain) at Pharmacia de la Guardia, a hip little night club in Lugo, a friendly Galician hill town. I was 16 at the time- taking a summer to find myself, a seemingly impossible feat. The closest I came was the night I drank the Pequeno Cerebo. I marveled at the appearance of the drink; occulted cream folding in on itself, hovering in a crystal vodka bath. Noticing my unbroken gaze aimed at the glass down the bar, the bartender offered me one. I took him up on the offer. Six of these glorious concoctions later I stumbled my way to bed only to have the most peculiar dream. I was being breastfed, only it wasn’t by my mother. My father was breastfeeding me, but not with his breast.
It was not until twenty years later, while doing some online research for work (semiconductor engineering) and I mistakenly typed semenology instead of siemens technology that I became aware of this book. Upon seeing the cover I was transfixed, frozen within the memory of Pequeno Cerebo. Shaking this off, I began chuckling at the coincidence. "I work with siemens all day" I thought to myself.
I decided to order the book as a gag, thinking the guys at the office would find it hilarious. No one seemed to get the joke. Not wanting my children or wife to get the wrong impression, as my coworkers evidently had, I shoved the book in the back of my sock drawer and tried to forget about it. I continued to think about creamy clouds and my milky dream though.
My family and I spent last Thanksgiving with my Sister-in-law at her West Village flat.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The cost is ridiculous for the size of the book and the flimsy quality.Published 1 month ago by Jesse Brake
I was surprised, as a bartender, when recipes that are usually garnished with salt (Salty Dog, Margarita, etc.) called for it to be left off the glasses. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Gabriel Gulley
I've learned so many types of new drinks to try and they are very good too, wish I had more of a supply.Published 5 months ago by Charles A.
I bought this as a thank you gift to a very dear, old friend. We had hours of laughter reading the recipes.
And NO we did not try any of them!
Bought it for my best friend on her bachelorette party...the perfect gift!Published 14 months ago by Faye Santos