Sending Love, My "Different-Functional" Family (A Children's Book about Divorce) [Perfect Paperback]

Lori Hilliard (Author), Timothy Hilliard (Photographer)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 19, 2009 | Age Level: 4 and up | Grade Level: P and up

Children wonder..."WHO AM I" if my parents are divorcing???" This book is a welcome change from the traditional offerings for children adjusting to divorce. The author felt it was important to feature a REAL CHILD's FACE, so that other children could relate to the story in a genuine way. There are no talking teddy bears or make-believe characters glossing over the reality of divorce. This simple true story, told through the eyes of a five year old boy, assures children that they are still part of a family that loves them. The book includes a section for parents to add photographs meaningful to their children, as well as a place to write down their own commitment to their children. These thoughtful "extras" reinforce to children that their parents love for them is not diminished by divorce, and that life in a "different-functional" family can be a happy one. This book has been selected as the #1 Recommended Read by TheDivorcedMom.com

Editorial Reviews

Review

"WELL DONE! An upbeat and interactive guide, 'Sending Love, My "Different-Functional" Family' cleverly engages young readers by having them write their own stories inside the book. I will surely recommend this book to divorced parents." --Dr. Linda Nielsen, Professor of Adolescent & Educational Psychology, Wake Forest University; Author of 'Between Fathers and Daughters'

"Lori Hilliard's lovely and graceful book, 'Sending Love, My "Different-Functional" Family' provides an opportunity for divorced or divorcing parents to support their children and to help them understand that while their family may have a different shape now, they still have two parents who love them very much. The photographs of Lori's children provide an especially warm and engaging touch, as do the spots for children to add photos of their own families. This book is honest without being discouraging, and sweet without being superficial. I am happy to recommend this book to my clients." --Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT; author of seven books in the "Positive Discipline" series, as well as 'The Everything Parent's Guide to Raising Boys'

"Lori Hilliard's book, 'Sending Love, My "Different-Functional" Family' is the perfect book for parents and children going through a divorce. For children the book will help them to better understand divorce, an event that can be scary and confusing. Reading the book over and over again with your children will help them gain mastery over their family situation. For parents the book is a reminder that they can choose a better way to divorce, keeping the children out of the middle and creating a "different-functional" family." --Mark Burton, Ph.D., Aspen Grove Counseling

About the Author

Lori Hilliard is a divorced mother of four children. During her divorce, Hilliard was asked, "Is your family dysfunctional?" Thinking quickly, Hilliard responded with a smile. "We're not Dysfunctional. We are 'Different'-Functional." And thus the catch phrase was born. Lori believes that a child has to come to "peace" with divorce. She considers her book a tool to help create that feeling and emotion. The authors personal story has been featured on CNN.com

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 4 and up
  
• Perfect Paperback: 40 pages
• Publisher: Aspenwood Publishing; First Edition edition (March 19, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0980173728
• ISBN-13: 978-0980173727
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 9.7 x 0.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,586,063 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #48 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Divorce

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful book!, July 6, 2009

By 

Single Mommy of Two (McDonough, GA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sending Love, My "Different-Functional" Family (A Children's Book about Divorce) (Perfect Paperback)

My boys were 1 and 3 when their father and I separated. I made sure to point out other single parent families we knew so they would know that they were not alone. I got this book about a year after we separated. Before reading it to the boys, I put some pictures of our family on the designated pages in the back and wrote "our story".

The first time I read this book to the boys, they were mesmerized by the images, then excited when they realized that the little boy in the story has parents who aren't married anymore, then thrilled to see their own pictures and hear their own story at the end.

I wish I had had this book a year ago when we first separated because I really think it's helped to give the boys words to describe our situation and helped them to see that different is ok. I would highly recommend this to any parents with young children who are dealing with divorce or separation.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful, July 2, 2009

By 

Anna I. Smith "mystery maestra" (St. Clair Shores, MI USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Sending Love, My "Different-Functional" Family (A Children's Book about Divorce) (Perfect Paperback)

When I read this book I cried, because as a parent that just went through a divorce, I still feel an amount of guilt for what my son must be feeling, or will have to deal with in the future. It's difficult for me to understand his emotions because he has autism. We already deal with a lot of misperceptions about his "disability", and now we will have to deal with the misplaced pity from those who think he comes from a "broken home". Hopefully, with resources like this book, my son will be strong enough to disregard words like "dysfunctional" and "broken", and know that he comes from a place of love. Thank you, Lori.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Sending Love shows that mothers and fathers can still work together., August 20, 2009

By 

Steven "BookDads.com" - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sending Love, My "Different-Functional" Family (A Children's Book about Divorce) (Perfect Paperback)

Sending Love, My "Different-Functional" Family (A Children's Book about Divorce)
In "Sending Love", five year old Joshua tells us all about himself and his family. He likes to play in the dirt, has a dog and a cat, and has two sisters and a brother. He also has two houses, his dad's house and his mom's house. His parents are divorced, and although they don't live in the same house, his mom and his dad love both him and his siblings very much. His family isn't "dysfunctional", it's "different-functional" instead.

"Sending Love" is a unique book about divorce on several fronts. The book is illustrated not with drawings, but with real-life photos of Joshua and his family. This helps children see that divorce is something that happens to real children and their families, and gives them a real image of another child that they can identify it. When Joshua has finished telling his story, he invites other children to tell their own stories, and the back of the book consists of a series of pages where children can insert pictures of themselves and the people and places in their own lives. There is also a page where both parents can write about their child, with a place for both of them to sign. While this section can be very helpful for children in divorced families, it can also be helpful for children in any family to begin to think about their place in the world and their own identity.

Sending Love gives equal time to Mom and Dad, and emphasizes how much they both love their children and the special place they both hold in their children's lives. In the brief introduction, Lori Hilliard writes movingly of how creating this book healed her relationship with her ex-husband and how they came to collaborate on the book together. Unlike many other books on the subject, this is a book in which every page shouts out a message of joy and love. Sending Love shows that mothers and fathers can still work together to raise their children in a loving family, even if they are no longer together as husband and wife.