In pursuing his investigation, Cottle draws on a remarkably broad range of social scientific and philosophical literature, from Piaget and Kohut to Nietzsche and Levinas. Looking closely at the relationship between the individual, the family, and society, he explores issues of intimacy, morality, ethics, aesthetics, and socialization. He pays particular attention to the role of devotion, showing how the act of taking responsibility for another is the essence of affirmation, which in turn is the fundamental ingredient in the development of a self. Without those who take responsibility for us and commit themselves to us forever, he argues, there can be no secure sense of self and no genuine capacity for self-reflection and self-knowledge.
Cottle concludes by emphasizing how much is at stake in the work of affirmation. Just as the affirming gaze of another nurtures and strengthens one's sense of self, the absence of affirmation—what we might call disaffirmation—can lead to a life of despair, alienation, and even violence.
