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Separate Ways: Relationships, Divorce & Independence of Mind [Hardcover]

Vira Hladun-Goldmann (Author)
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)


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Book Description

December 2002
Separate Ways, written by Vira Hladun-Goldmann, winner of the largest equitable divorce in American history, reveals the techniques and methods she used to achieve her historic decision, while giving any woman facing divorce the emotional clarity and tools necessary to achieve a swift, fair dissolution of her marriage. There is such a thing as a "positive" divorce, and in Separate Ways, Vira Hladun-Goldmann shows you how. The book counsels women on: 

Why to Keep a Marital Diary:
an all-important tool for your own self-esteem and for planning your legal strategy as well.

How to Find the Right Lawyer for You:
and how to work best with that lawyer.

Mediation vs. Court:
settling across a table, or in a courthouse.

The Importance of Separation:
a cooling-off period which allows flaring emotions to settle.

The History of Woman's Rights:
taking courage from our predecessors.

Why Being a Housewife is a Full-time Job, and how to convince the court of that fact.

How to Manage Your Finances: why women are better investors that men.

Warm with remembered life, Separate Ways imparts lessons on relationships and families while telling a personal story of obstacles overcome, and urges all women less than satisfied in their marriages to listen deeply to themselves, take charge, and then take action. In Vira Hladun-Goldmann's words, "my instinct is to mother, but with some fire in the milk!"

In Separate Ways, Vira Hladun-Goldmann, winner of the largest equitable divorce in American history, gives women all the emotional and analytic tools necessary to achieve that rare thing, a "good divorce." A good divorce is a fair, swift and just divorce, that privileges a woman's independence and nourishes her growth. It does not happen by itself, and Separate Ways shows the careful mix of foresight, focus and emotional buoyancy necessary to achieve it. Filled with hard-earned wisdom, the book imparts important life-lessons on both togetherness and apartness.

Why must a woman contemplating divorce write a History of My Marriage? Not only because it provides a legal roadmap for her lawyers, but because it allows her to understand the key importance of all those daily tasks she performed, without which, the home would never have run as it did. In chapters dealing with such topics as The Importance of Separation, How to Find a Lawyer, and Mediation vs. Court, Separate Ways provides crucial practical background for a divorcing woman. In others such as The Three Phases of a Life, The Importance of Communication in Marriage, and Women's Finances Today, it gives women the emotional counsel necessary to understand the opportunity of divorce, the way it divides a life into Before and After and gives a chance for a fresh start. Throughout the book, women are exhorted to seize the reins and intelligently impose their will on their own lives.

Written with humor, warmth and deep insight, Separate Ways provides empowerment and a full tool kit for any woman looking to end her marriage -- or anyone interested in the state of marital relationships today.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Goldmann, former teacher, decorator and restorer of historical homes, is best known for receiving the largest divorce settlement ever. In 1998, she was awarded $43 million from ex-husband Robert Goldmann. The court recognized her contributions as an equal partner in helping to build his business. Interestingly, the divorce itself was not particularly acrimonious. The couple had been married for more than 30 years and had one child. Goldmann had worked happily on her own but always saw herself as an "adviser" and "partner" to her husband's business. The two drifted apart as he buried himself in work, while she looked forward to a different routine in retirement. Goldmann found attorneys whom she trusted and she was very specific in giving them details about her contributions to her husband's business. In fact, she urges readers to maintain a "marital diary" or record of responsibilities and duties related to parenting, working with a spouse, etc. This brief book intersperses chapters about the author's marriage and divorce settlement with chapters about her childhood in Rochester, N.Y., with her close-knit Ukrainian family. The author clearly wants other women to benefit from her experiences and offers specific advice on finding attorneys, keeping records, making financial decisions, etc. The personal perspective distinguishes this from other books on divorce, but Goldmann's affluence and the size of her settlement make her situation unusual.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

". . . a superb book that allows a divorcing woman to come out of the process with her head high . . ." -- Christine Millen, Co-founder, The Transition Network

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 190 pages
  • Publisher: Sweetpea Pr (December 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0972057803
  • ISBN-13: 978-0972057806
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.7 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,924,843 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
5.0 out of 5 stars (4 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Godsend, January 13, 2007
This review is from: Separate Ways: Relationships, Divorce & Independence of Mind (Hardcover)
This book is a godsend for someone like me, in the beginning of divorce proceedings, seeking guidance. Vira Hladun-Goldmann tells her story, and shows how to "take the bull by the horns" and make the best of a divorce, both psychologically and in terms of the divorce settlement.

She shows us how to demand what we deserve, and not one iota less.Many books play to a woman's innate desire to avoid conflict and "get it over with", to the detriment of her long-term future, both financial and emotional. Here is the example of a woman who refused to be walked all over, who stood up for herself, and won her legal battle, making an important precedent.

Because of the monetary sums involved it was newsworthy, but the real value is in the court's recognition of the worth - and I mean $ worth - of a wife/homemaker's work. Seems like this shouldn't be news any more, but WAKE UP - it is. You could say that this book bridges the so-called divide between homemaker and feminist; Hladun-Goldmann does not go into that area, but the telling of her story shows how artificial that divide can be. A very, very interesting book - for those in a divorce situation as well as those interested in sociology/women's studies.
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5.0 out of 5 stars a different kind of divorce book, August 20, 2003
By 
denise stein (Shreveport, Louisiana) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Separate Ways: Relationships, Divorce & Independence of Mind (Hardcover)
it was interesting to read the life story of this woman, which was then combined with the story of her divorce. I found the way she moved forward in life despite all the obstacles pretty compelling. There was also much good advice and thoughtful plain talk about what to do and especially, how to pick yourself up after a divorce. I could especially relate to that! I would recommend the book to anyone who has a bad feeling about their marriage and is looking for a clear-headed guide who isn't afraid to let her own hair down for the sake of her readers.
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5.0 out of 5 stars brave and spirited, February 21, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Separate Ways: Relationships, Divorce & Independence of Mind (Hardcover)
This book is a pick-me-upper for women contemplating divorce, and was useful to me in my own situation. I don't share the other reviewer's negativity. There are a hundred different reasons that marriages end, and at least the author of this book was candid about why hers did. I found the book tender and moving.
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