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Separated By Duty, United In Love (revised): Guide to Long Distance Relationships for Military Couples (Updated) Paperback – May 1, 2010


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Separated By Duty, United In Love (revised): Guide to Long Distance Relationships for Military Couples (Updated) + Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives + The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Citadel; Updated edition (May 1, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0806531991
  • ISBN-13: 978-0806531991
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 6.3 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (58 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #315,694 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

VERY well written and VERY Entertaining!
Katie
I would recommend it to anyone contemplating a relationship with someone in the military.
Consumer
This book really helped my wife deal with me being gone so much for the army.
joshua aungst

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 0 people found the following review helpful By Resource guru on January 29, 2007
Format: Paperback
As a seasoned military spouse, I would recommend all military spouses no matter how long you've been in the role, purchase this book. Being a military spouse is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Sometimes we think that we're the only one who feels the way we do, and are too afraid to share our feelings for fear that others will think we're crazy or unable to handle military life. Mrs. Vandevoorde's book helps us to see that our feelings are all too common, and shared by many military spouses. In her book, she has put into words and given names to the "games we play" and addressed the many feelings we experience. She also covers the gauntlet of subjects that are important to military spouses -- from children, to finances, to careers, to "decisions we never want to make". I have also used the content from this book as a tool in teaching some of the Army Family Team Building classes. And what a great price!!
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30 of 34 people found the following review helpful By Natasha S. on October 31, 2006
Format: Paperback
This book looked great online. But when I went to a local store to take a look before buying it, I was very disappointed. The quality of the printing - particularly the paper - was absolutely terrible. On top of that, the book doesn't offer any special insights - it doesn't cover any new ground, have any sort of scientific basis, or otherwise distinguish itself. There are plenty of websites out there for military spouses where you can get the exact same information for FREE. The military has better resources for you and won't charge you for them, and they actually have some credible sources behind it. Don't waste your money on this book.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Ginny Moreno on May 1, 2006
Format: Paperback
Thousands of military families are separated by military deployment at any given time, and this book should be given to each and every family. It is easy to read, and it is chocked full of heartfelt, excellent advice to deal with many of the larger and smaller issues that are frequently a part of being separated by duty.

This book has thoughtful insight into the daily challenges that face military couples during a deployment. There are so many topics covered in this book that I am sure are almost never addressed with military couples. Most of the couples I have known just struggle the best they can through deployments, hoping just to get through it, to be emotionally and financially intact at the end of it all, with the loved one safely back at home.

This book offers a better way to guide your relationship and family through a military deployment. It offers much needed encouragement and advice from military wives and husbands who have experienced being apart in the military. I would have never even thought of many of the excellent topics it covers, a few of which are emotional issues, financial problems, childrearing issues and most importantly, understanding and nurturing yourself and each other while you are apart and when you reunited. "Separated by Duty, United in Love" is a real life commentary on very real situations that present themselves daily on the homefront in the military deployment experience. Reading this book may be the most important thing you do to nurture your relationship and family during this challenging time.
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48 of 60 people found the following review helpful By propertyofaUSMarine on August 16, 2007
Format: Paperback
I bought this book because a friend of mine had it and mentioned how she loved it. Although the first chapter was decent, the rest of the book fell short of my hopeful expectations. She has no sources behind her advice so what you're getting is just a bunch of advice from random women with no other qualifications but military spouse. I never finished the book because I found more and more that her views about marriage were very different from mine. At one point she suggests that wives could send her hubby off to deployment with an adult magazine "to help their marriage." I don't agree with that and could not continue reading a book that supports what I do not. It seems like lousy marriage advice to me.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By E. M. Van Court VINE VOICE on April 1, 2009
Format: Paperback
The assumption that a service member's spouse is a wife was rampent throughout this book, and it got rather tiresome (especially for an Air Force husband of more than a decade).

Most of the advice was sound and well written, but very basic. She gives good advice, but most of the advice would benefit from a more detailed 'further reading' section, especially the parts about dealing with money and suspected infidelity. Despite this shortcoming, this is an excellent book for a new military spouse.

Regardless of disclaimers, the book was clearly written for military wives, not military spouses. What irks my wife, an active duty Air Force officer is the assumption that husbands don't need help, and are OK when the wife is away. What irks me is the implication that women shouldn't be in the military. To assume that the spouse is a wife is to assume that only men are in uniform. And by not making it clear that military husbands have most of the same challenges as the wives plus a few distinct ones, the statement is that men shouldn't be the ones on the home front. During my own military career, the female officers that I served with were, on the average, more competent than the males (although there were two or three that really tried to pull the rest down). It is not appropriate to send a message that these women serving our country in uniform shouldn't be there or shouldn't have husbands.

This one was good for new wives, but really struck a nerve for me.

E. M. Van Court
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