Customer Reviews

Separated By Duty, United In Love

5 star:		(25)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Thousands of military families are separated by military deployment at any given time, and this book should be given to each and every family. It is easy to read, and it is chocked full of heartfelt, excellent advice to deal with many of the larger and smaller issues that are frequently a part of being separated by duty.
This book has thoughtful insight into the daily challenges that face military couples during a deployment. There are so many topics covered in this book that I am sure are almost never addressed with military couples. Most of the couples I have known just struggle the best they can through deployments, hoping just to get through it, to be emotionally and financially intact at the end of it all, with the loved one safely back at home.
This book offers a better way to guide your relationship and family through a military deployment. It offers much needed encouragement and advice from military wives and husbands who have experienced being apart in the military. I would have never even thought of many of the excellent topics it covers, a few of which are emotional issues, financial problems, childrearing issues and most importantly, understanding and nurturing yourself and each other while you are apart and when you reunited. "Separated by Duty, United in Love" is a real life commentary on very real situations that present themselves daily on the homefront in the military deployment experience. Reading this book may be the most important thing you do to nurture your relationship and family during this challenging time.

This book looked great online. But when I went to a local store to take a look before buying it, I was very disappointed. The quality of the printing - particularly the paper - was absolutely terrible. On top of that, the book doesn't offer any special insights - it doesn't cover any new ground, have any sort of scientific basis, or otherwise distinguish itself. There are plenty of websites out there for military spouses where you can get the exact same information for FREE. The military has better resources for you and won't charge you for them, and they actually have some credible sources behind it. Don't waste your money on this book.

I bought this book because a friend of mine had it and mentioned how she loved it. Although the first chapter was decent, the rest of the book fell short of my hopeful expectations. She has no sources behind her advice so what you're getting is just a bunch of advice from random women with no other qualifications but military spouse. I never finished the book because I found more and more that her views about marriage were very different from mine. At one point she suggests that wives could send her hubby off to deployment with an adult magazine "to help their marriage." I don't agree with that and could not continue reading a book that supports what I do not. It seems like lousy marriage advice to me.

I absolutely loved the book! It is a book that you can't put down. It helps you know what to expect in the future and how to avoid the worst in every situation. It puts things into perspective from your partners stand point. VERY well written and VERY Entertaining! I would recommend it to anyone! I am new to the Marine life and its been SO helpful! Thanks again!

The assumption that a service member's spouse is a wife was rampent throughout this book, and it got rather tiresome (especially for an Air Force husband of more than a decade).

Most of the advice was sound and well written, but very basic. She gives good advice, but most of the advice would benefit from a more detailed 'further reading' section, especially the parts about dealing with money and suspected infidelity. Despite this shortcoming, this is an excellent book for a new military spouse.

Regardless of disclaimers, the book was clearly written for military wives, not military spouses. What irks my wife, an active duty Air Force officer is the assumption that husbands don't need help, and are OK when the wife is away. What irks me is the implication that women shouldn't be in the military. To assume that the spouse is a wife is to assume that only men are in uniform. And by not making it clear that military husbands have most of the same challenges as the wives plus a few distinct ones, the statement is that men shouldn't be the ones on the home front. During my own military career, the female officers that I served with were, on the average, more competent than the males (although there were two or three that really tried to pull the rest down). It is not appropriate to send a message that these women serving our country in uniform shouldn't be there or shouldn't have husbands.

This one was good for new wives, but really struck a nerve for me.

E. M. Van Court

I'm an army girlfriend. My boyfriend is deployed to Iraq for 15 months. I bought this book in hopes of finding a little comfort and advice for situations military couples come across. Instead, I found a book I couldn't put down. The author did a wonderful job of taking life experiences from many different men and women, servicemembers and civilians and compiled them into a "crisis bible". The issues addressed are real-life issues. There are no "beating around the bush" answers and she really tells you how it is but in a very motherly, experienced fashion. I found this book has given me so much more strength and a positive outlook on a situation many significant others could not put themselves in. I suggest it to anyone. Whether your special someone is in the military, you're a parent, or even a friend. The advice is so real and helpful. My relationship has improved on both ends because of this book and the wonderful words of advice.

As a seasoned military spouse, I would recommend all military spouses no matter how long you've been in the role, purchase this book. Being a military spouse is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Sometimes we think that we're the only one who feels the way we do, and are too afraid to share our feelings for fear that others will think we're crazy or unable to handle military life. Mrs. Vandevoorde's book helps us to see that our feelings are all too common, and shared by many military spouses. In her book, she has put into words and given names to the "games we play" and addressed the many feelings we experience. She also covers the gauntlet of subjects that are important to military spouses -- from children, to finances, to careers, to "decisions we never want to make". I have also used the content from this book as a tool in teaching some of the Army Family Team Building classes. And what a great price!!

The book features a neat little skip around format, as someone else described, which makes it a handy reference guide in most situations that pop up when dealing with deployment. As my own husband embarqued on his 13 month remote tour of duty to a global hot spot, I clung to this book as if it were my life's blood. I quickly devoured it in less than one night and swore by it for the first few weeks. A lot of this is geared towards your typical military wife (the younger woman with small children under foot and no significant career to speak of) but I like that it's aimed at the Enlisted spouses mroe than the officer spouses, as is the case with so many other books on military relationships. as we crossed the path from "I'm so lost without you!" to "I'm really fine. Days blow right by" stage of the deployment, this book became less and less useful until it found its way on to my book shelf where it has been for a majority of his deployment.

It really doesn't really offer anything new and insightful. The other military spouse books and general self-help books help quite a bit more when it comes to the in depth issues of lonliness, your child's depression and seperation anxiety, etc. But think of this as a concise reference book more than a guide. the links offered in the back of the book were somewhat outdated as of Sept 2006, but it offers a GIANT list of books that *do* expand on each topic a little further. All in all this is a great book that I highly recomment to my fellow Wives-at-arms when their own spouses are going off to a deployment, but if you're looking for a meaty read, you'd do best to look elsewhere.

Not only was it great to meet the Author, Shellie Vandevoorde but to read this book is such an honest look at what Military life is like for spouses left behind. She covered so many topics from starting your marriage to harsh realities of having to deal with the unthinkable..your spouse dying. It is honest and upfront! And even after being a military spouse for 10 yrs it has taught me great parenting advice, deployment advice and preparations for the unknown future. A MUST READ for all military spouses! This will be a gift I give to friends who marry into the military life!

Very fast shipping, the book was in great condition and from what I've read so far, it looks to be a really good book to help pull me through until he gets home. Plus, there are things in there to help us both with his transition when he does get home... I think that this will prove to be very valuable.