Customer Reviews

Sergio Lapel's: Drawing Blood

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4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

The beginning of this film is amazing. The first scenes create the impression that this will be the best and most original vampire movie since Near Dark, and the direction during these scenes is excellent. It is almost like a low-budget cross between David Lynch and David Fincher, especially with its sound design (lots of drones). Unfortunately, what starts out as an excellent film which manages to be equal parts serious drama and black comedy quickly loses all of its steam as soon as the vampire's slave decides he's had enough and is going to quit. After that the directing style actually becomes weaker and at times silly, as does the comedy, and the drama almost completely disappears. There are a few moments throughout the film, especially the scenes with the old man Marvin, who is always funny, which make it bearable to sit through to the end, but ultimately the last two-thirds are just a weak, low-budget vampire film with some comedy.

This movie does not rock; this isn't even what one might call a movie. Bad, awful....Troma. The scariest thing about this flick was buying and enduing it's full running time.

Did I say run....yes, run away--to another galaxy--anywhere this horrendous thing does not exist.

Bye the by, I can't recommend this.

If you like a bit of gore, a little hoaky stuff and a wacky story line, you'll love this movie. Bare bodies are bouncing around all over the place. Good work for a low budget film. The brief role of the mother is outstanding and very scary. She has such depth and sincerity. It will be difficult to keep a dry eye. She felt this part from the tip of her toes to the end of her teeth. I know. I was right there with her!

This movie is about a struggling young artist that is the apprentice or servant of an accomplished female artist that just happens to be a vampire, what what she paint with is blood and it is the apprentice's job to get her victims for her. Parts of this movie is good and original, other parts just do not work. It try to mix 1970's psychedelic and artsy vampire movie with humor and it just do not work. I do not know what to think about this movie. I got it cheap and it did entertain me, but I am just left with the feeling what a mess when I think about this movie. If you are a big fan of bad horror movies and vampire films you might get something out of this, just be warned before you spend your cash that this movies is strange and at places just idiotic.

Sergio Lapel's Drawing Blood (Onur Tukel, 1999)

Tukel (The Pigs), seemingly so terrified of having his name associated with this piece of idiocy that he adopted noms de plume both as writer and as director (and different noms de plume for each, no less!), phones in his second feature film, Drawing Blood, under the scriptorial name Noel Anderson (who has no other credits-- did Tukel think the script was so bad he had to abandon this other personality?) and directorial name Sergio Lapel. It doesn't matter, however, whether you credit Onur Tukel, Sergio Lapel, or Alan Smithee with this waste of celluloid; no matter how you slice it, this movie is godawful.

Diana (Dawn Spinella) is a vampire. And an artist. A vampire artist who likes to use the blood of her victims to paint pictures. She has her assistant, Edmond (Tukel regular Kirk Wilson), bring her fresh meat and dispose of the bodies after she's done with them. All is going relatively well until Edmond meets Dee (Erin Smith), an innocent young waif who's been living on the street because... oh, well, we won't go there. It's not important to the plot, anyway. Fired with love, Edmond wants to dump Diana-- who wants him for more than an assistant-- and live happily ever after with Dee. Diana has other plans.

There are two reasons to watch this movie: Spinella and Smith. Neither, unfortunately, shows anything close to the amount of skin necessary as payoff for enduring the rest of the film, which is about as funny as a powerpoint presentation, as horrific as a business plan, as well-acted as a preschool talent show, as well-directed as... well, a preschool talent show, as... you get the idea. There is not a single redeeming quality about this flick. I paid eighty-nine cents for my copy; I'd say that's a touch on the high-side. Will likely break my personal record for shortest time a DVD has had a place in my collection (which currently stands at eight days). (half)

This film starts off really well, it is full of mild horror; a vampire likes to paint using real blood, & drains a few women to top up her supply.

Then the film changes to become a typical Troma loser (an attempt at comedy?). I'm not sure if they used the scripts from two different films for this, 1/2 of one 1/2 of the other.

Don't get me wrong: I love bad movies, but this thing is trying to be a comedy-horror-erotic film all at once, and it fails miserably. There is but one compelling thing to this movie: The intro. EXCELLENT directing, and very effective performances in the first 5 minutes. My goodness, once I was finished with this movie, I felt as I did when I walked out of seeing A.I.: Very,very,very insulted.

This film captures the best of two genres, horror and comedy. The director displays a talent and maturity that's too rare today.