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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Chalk It Up To Experience,
This review is from: Serial Psychos (DVD)
I found this 6 movie collection for a mere $2.89, and still had to read some other people's reviews to get an idea of how bad these movies were gonna be, before buying it. "Pure crap," was the consensus. But ya know how your tongue keeps checking out your sore tooth or that place where you bit the inside of your cheek, even though it hurts, a lot? Well, my eyes just had to see these nasty films. Inexplicably, I craved the experience I knew would be an unpleasant chore. And after all, $2.98 for 6 movies is a serious bargain. I guess I love a bargain better than I do a good movie. So, I bought it and I watched it, all of it.
Whoever first wrote that "Plan 9..." was the worst film ever, spoke too soon, and clearly never saw any of these masterpieces of the talentlessness. Still, I try to find what's good about a film, while enduring all that sucks about it. So here's the good and bad of each film. By the way, I have a pet peeve about movie titles that don't fit the film. "Blood Massacre" Reasonably appropriate title. A good idea, poorly executed. Four crooks take a family hostage, who turn out to be homicidal cannibals. Bad script, lousy storytelling and horrible acting, although there is some characterization. Once the gore begins however, the movie gets fun. If you expect great gore, you're not too bright. Nothing about this, or any of the films in this collection is great, or even good. Finally, if it hasn't already been done, this basic story could make an excellent "B" horror film. "Thirteen" The title derives from the fact that the letter "M," that's carved into each victim's torso, is the thirteenth letter of the alphabet - that's all - no other significance. Someone is killing queers and others with AIDS, and a radio talk show host talks about it every night. The script had potential, but insufficient cash to be a contender. This movie's fatal flaw is that the director failed to recognize this and took the project way too seriously, instead having fun, making a tongue in cheek spoof of serious serial killer movies. The gore is OK. "Hip Hop Locos" Cool, meaningless title. The idea here, is that a gang, on a killing and robbing spree, film their exploits. I imagined it might be kind of "The Barrio Witch Project." However, in the first 10 minutes, there were so many unnecessary effects and filters in use, that any matter-of-fact documentation effect was lost, and I turned it off. Someone was having fun with their new video camera and effects programs. They never shoulda downloaded it. "Las Vegas Blood Bath" Good title. Ever seen one of those lousy, very low budget porn films from the eighties, where a lame premise with just enough of a story to require the talent less "actors" to talk between the sex scenes? Remember the fried hair and the disappointing sex? Switch the sex with ridiculous gore and that sums up this movie. But just like "bad sex is better than no sex," "bad gore is better than no gore." Still, I was using the fast forward button a lot, by this time. "I Hate You" The title comes from something in the film, but doesn't really apply to the story that unfolds. A failed, elderly comic decides that his only hope for fame, at this point in his life, is to become a serial killer. Not a bad story idea. Probably part of some stand up comic's routine, but the script, directing and acting do it no justice. Violent, but not really gory. "Slasher" The title is somewhat inaccurate and deceiving, although there's plenty of slashing, cutting and chopping. You might even notice some dicing and a little mincing, too. This is the only film in which there is any real acting. Even though it's all amateur, I still really appreciated it, after all the awful untrained attempts in the 5 previous movies. A town sheriff, investigating a series of brutal murders with an occult connection, doubts his sanity, as he uncovers a shocking truth. Ya know, he's just about the only one in town not in on it. This one sucks too, but has more decent moments than the rest. And some of the gore is pleasantly gruesome, too. I don't know where, if anywhere, these films might have been shown before. If any had been shown to paying customers, I'm sure I would have heard about the riot that ensued, as customers demanded refunds. Direct to video? Maybe. Personally, I've never seen anything as bad as these, not even on Elvira's show. But if you have any interest in seeing how bad, bad can actually be, check it out. I have a feeling there are worse movies than these, but after watching any one of these films, you will have a new and greater perspective from which to judge all other films you will see, like it or not. Consider it a priceless education for just $3. A serious bargain. I give it 2 stars for the invaluable experience.
3 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Horrible,
By Bridget (CA) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Serial Psychos (DVD)
This whole collection is awful, don't waster your money. My husband and I love "b-horrors" but these collections are the worst of the worst. It looks like a junior-high film project at best and is literally shot in someone's basement. Plus unlike most other "B-horror" movies, it's just boring. Would not recommend even to "b-horror movie" lovers!
1 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Serial Psychos,
By
This review is from: Serial Psychos (DVD)
I wish i hadn't wasted my money. The acting was terrible and the story line was extremely corny.
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