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Seriously...I'm Kidding [Kindle Edition]

Ellen DeGeneres
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,034 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $14.99
Kindle Price: $9.99
You Save: $5.00 (33%)
Sold by: Hachette Book Group

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $9.99  
Hardcover $26.99  
Paperback $14.99  
Mass Market Paperback --  
Audio, CD, Audiobook, CD, Unabridged $11.66  
Unknown Binding --  
Audible Audio Edition, Unabridged $19.95 or Free with Audible 30-day free trial
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Book Description

I've experienced a lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?


Editorial Reviews

Review

DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile.—People

Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new.—Publisher's Weekly

Fans will not be disappointed. This hodgepodge...displays throughout the author's gift for capturing the absurd hilarity of internal monologue...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through.—Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Ellen DeGeneres is a beloved stand-up comedian, television host, bestselling author, and actress. She hosts the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and was also a judge on American Idol in its ninth season in 2009.

DeGeneres has hosted both the Academy Awards and the Primetime Emmys. As a film actress, she starred in Mr. Wrong, appeared in EDtv and The Love Letter, and provided the voice of Dory in the Disney-Pixar animated film Finding Nemo, for which she awarded a Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actress, the first and only time a voice acting won a Saturn Award. She also starred in two television sitcoms, Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and The Ellen Show from 2001 to 2002. She has won twelve Emmys and numerous awards for her work and charitable efforts.

Product Details

  • File Size: 609 KB
  • Print Length: 216 pages
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing; 1 edition (October 4, 2011)
  • Sold by: Hachette Book Group
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004QX07G4
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,944 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
229 of 241 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A trip to a better world...amazing! October 4, 2011
Format:Hardcover
Reading this book is like traveling to some beautiful alternative universe where people are kind, love is everywhere, and life is good. It's more than just a "funny" book. It's a complete experience of another, nicer and more intelligent way to view the world.

I felt different after I read this book. Smarter. Nicer. Stronger. Happier. The world looked a little bit different. And I felt better about everything. (And I was happy already).

But the book is not only uplifting and empowering. It is hilariously funny! Much funnier than her previous two books. They were light time passers. Good for a chuckle. But Ellen has matured since then. And this book is at a higher level in all departments. I found myself laughing constantly at how clever something was. And I rarely find a book laugh out loud funny. But this one certainly is.

Full of Ellens winning life philosophy...told in the form of funny stories. Some true, some not. There is love. Freedom of thought. Creativity. Inspiration. This book felt like more than a book.

It feels like an experience. An experience not to be missed. Recommended.
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122 of 128 people found the following review helpful
Format:Audio CD
This is the third book for comedian/talk show host Ellen Degeneres and, if ever there was a book that should be "read by the author", it's one by Ellen. She honed her craft of comedy by doing "stand-up" and she actually "performs" the audio version, more than just reading it. Ellen talks fast and so the 3 hours on the three CDs literally fly by! And the words aren't all the same as the print edition (which I also read through). She re-wrote parts of it to "talk to - you - the listener" and even adds a chapter (Chapter 29) just for the audiobook. Speaking of chapters, the print edition does not have numbered chapters for these short essays. But Ellen announces a number before each one. Since I started with the audio version first, I wondered - when I got to the chapter titled "Meditation", which contains 20 seconds or so of silence - how she'd deal with this in the print edition. So I looked and there were three blank pages. The reverse holds true for the chapter titled "For the Children" where there are full-page illustrations to color. For the audiobook, Ellen tells the listener that there is a .pdf file on the CD with the illustrations - though I haven't checked that out yet.

The print edition is 240 pages with short chapters and plenty of space between the lines so you can easily pick it up and put it down as time permits. These are short essays of observations on everything from being judge on American Idol to being married to her wife Portia. Either format will entertain you - it did me - if you are an Ellen fan (I am). The Print version allows you to go back and read - or share - a special chapter., while the audio version allows you to hear her voice and timing.

Steve Ramm
"Anything Phonographic"
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67 of 73 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out Loud funny October 4, 2011
By Carla
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I don't normally write reviews but I had to review this book because I love Ellen and love this book and want it to be successful for her! Funniest most witty book I have read in a long time. You really have to know and appreciate Ellen's humor to read and understand this book. It very much reminds me of her stand up comedy dvd "here and now". It is a lot of the same humor and I can literally hear her voice and how she says things while I am reading this book. This book is not only hysterical but it also has really wonderful words of wisdom in it. She brings you back to a much simpler time and makes you realize how ridiculous life has gotten with laziness, busy-ness, and technology to name a few. I read this book in a day and it was amazing from the first word to the last.
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55 of 63 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Is it plagiarism to copy your own work? October 6, 2011
By slkx
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I love Ellen - so much so that I never miss her show. I record it when I have to go out. I say this to explain how I know and am so disappointed by the fact I am only partway through her new book and am recognising tracts of it from her show. The stand-up routine she does at the beginning of each show has been included in chunks. Sometimes I don't think she's changed a word - such as Portia and her lotion addiction resulting in her being trapped in the bathroom unable to turn the doorknob to escape. I laughed and laughed when I first saw Ellen say that. Not so much reading it almost word for word. I also laughed the first time I saw her displaying Mama Betty's odd collection of hoarded junk including a VHS tape of Abs of Steel. Funny then. I could go on, but I am guessing this answers the question Ellen asks at the start of the book: how she found the time to write it. Maybe I'll just call her a good recycler. I still love her - that's why I gave this a fairly generous three stars. But I am sad the book isn't fresher and more biographical and a little less, ahem, retreaded. For people who don't religiously watch her show, they will find this funny, especially if they liked My Point Is And I Do Have One, as it is written in that style.
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31 of 37 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Waste of money November 25, 2011
Format:Hardcover
While I think Ellen is funny, kind, and light hearted the fact this book was published and sells for $27 is almost offensive. I am led to believe her publisher said it was time for another book so they all make some more money and she did not have time so just filled pages with literal nonsense. Please stick to the show and buy a book by an author who put time and energy into giving the reader a pleasurable experience.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely funny
I finished in a day I could not stop laughing the whole time. My checks hurt from laughing so much. So a great book when you are in a bad mood. She never lets you down.
Published 1 day ago by Erica
1.0 out of 5 stars The book may be good....
But I never got to find out because this book was covered in sticky goo, and was really dirty. I did not really want to touch it. Read more
Published 2 days ago by Libby
4.0 out of 5 stars Great read
It was she was talking with you, you just see her there with you.
She was just as funny in the book as she would be in person.
Great read
Published 3 days ago by Joyce Brown
3.0 out of 5 stars Nope
Wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. It was just okay. Really do like Ellen, but got a bored with this book.
Published 4 days ago by Elaine Carr
3.0 out of 5 stars Light entertainment for leisure readeing
Cute, funny at times, but I could put it down.. Nice if you are looking for light entertainment. It's typical Ellen but she is funnier when you can view her on video or tv
Published 4 days ago by gioia crawford
4.0 out of 5 stars Pleasant divsersion
Actually I enjoyed the light-hearted tone and comedy of the book. No question about that. Rating on a curve, though it doesn't meet the "great book" status of say "... Read more
Published 8 days ago by betty lynch
5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book!
When reading this book it was like hearing every word come directly out of her mouth! Ellen is such a positive, funny, and intelligent person. She gets it! Read more
Published 11 days ago by Marcy
1.0 out of 5 stars Like listening to a rambling idiot
Thought that the book would be better - disappointed in the ramblings. Cannot believe that something of this quality would be published except to profit from those stupid enough... Read more
Published 13 days ago by Suzanne Beckett
5.0 out of 5 stars Just what my niece wanted for her birthday!
I ordered this as a birthday gift. It was just what she asked for and she was well-satisfied with it.
Published 13 days ago by Cheryl M. Mathias
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointed
I did not laugh...I was not moved by astounding wit. I just breezed through it. and when finished felt like I had been cheated. Read more
Published 13 days ago by Karlynox
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More About the Author

Ellen DeGeneres is a beloved stand-up comedian, television host, bestselling author, and actress. She hosts the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and was also a judge on American Idol in its ninth season in 2009.

DeGeneres has hosted both the Academy Awards and the Primetime Emmys. As a film actress, she starred in Mr. Wrong, appeared in EDtv and The Love Letter, and provided the voice of Dory in the Disney-Pixar animated film Finding Nemo, for which she awarded a Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actress, the first and only time a voice acting won a Saturn Award. She also starred in two television sitcoms, Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and The Ellen Show from 2001 to 2002. She has won twelve Emmys and numerous awards for her work and charitable efforts.

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If you liked this book, you will love Broken Headbone By Ginny McMath!!!
I really love this book ( Seriously.. I'm Kidding) and don't understand why it didn't get all five stars. Also I got Broken Headbone when it was free and I agree it's a fun ride! There were some serious moments but like Seriously.. I'm Kidding I laughed out loud in Broken Headbone a few times.
Jul 18, 2013 by Robin Charin |  See all 2 posts
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