Customer Reviews

Settle for More: You Can Have the Relationship You Always Wanted... Guaranteed!

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

We have settled for more and we are adoring it!
27 years of marriage with all forms of challenges, highs and lows, often feeling like we were anchored in quicksand!
One absolute certainty was our shared love for our five beautiful children.
Close to a certainty was the knowledge that come hell or high water{and experienced copious amounts of both!}we wanted to stay together~~~~~~~~most of the time.
Yet for two reasonably intelligent people we couldn't figure out how to!?
D I Y was often a D I S A S T E R
The counselling trail led to short lived joys~~
Tom Merril and Bobbie Sandoz-Merril's book has been positively brilliant for us!
Results include;
* Open hearted intimacy
*a passion for holding each others spirits in the palms of our hands
*outward signs of mutual respect
*a quiet ,cosy lasting joy
*a physical depth
* and loads of laughter

We wanted what " Settling For More" described
More over the book positively bulges with not so common , common sense.It is practical and speaks clearly to both genders . Charles appreciated the concrete , goal oriented examples and exercises.
I found great solace in discovering my relationship expectations are on the reality radar , ready to be actualized.
Merci and Blessings to both authors ~ What a gift you have created between the covers of your book !!!
Virginia And Charles Beckwith.
Melbourne Australia

I have been using the book Settle for More by Tom and Bobbie Merrill as a therapeutic tool for couples experiencing relationship discord. The authors write in a simple flowing style which helps couples grasp the concepts of a positive relaltionship. It teaches them how to apply these concepts. My patients are loving the book and are improving their relationships.

Gail Chase -Pion LCSW 7943

Settle for More spelled out the simple concept that for a relationship to be sustainable, loving, satisfying, it must be fed with honoring, kindness, loving and caring. The "falling in love" stage can be perpetuated and expanded through this basic, simple premise. But the problem is, simple is not so simple in reality. We all need illumination and practise to turn the concept into day to day, minute to minute living. The Merrills lead us through this rewarding path

I loved this book. We often step over our own "Philosophers Stone" because we want to make things complicated. In "Settle for More" the authors show us the philosophers stone that many (most?) of us step over when it comes to having a good relationship. They remind us, using practical examples and steps, how to respect and nurture our primary relationship. This little book is not only very readable, it is very "doable." I recommend it not only to my clients who are in relationship, but to my clients who want to be in relationship and wonder why the old ones failed.

SETTLE FOR MORE helps people in romantic relationships understand how to stay positive and loving long after the initial flames of passion have given way to dwindling embers of love.

Noting that the divorce rates for first time marriages is above 50%, is about 60% for second marriages and 78% for third marriages, it's clear that a lot of people end up in unhappy marriages. Authors Tom Merrill and Bobbie Sandoz-Merrill assert that we don't need to end up feeling resentful of our mates, but can instead discover that who we've come to believe as "who I am" (the behaviors we fall back into when no longer trying to impress others) can be changed. By taking the first steps to be our best, in honor of the ideal relationship we wish to create, we can inspire our mates to commit to raising their standards of behavior as well. Since this requires some fairly big changes in behavior, the authors include guidance for every step of the way.

When we channel our every thought, word, and deed through the intention to honor our beloved, we find that we honor our beloved every day, and not just in the initial days of courtship. The key to getting from a starting point of dissatisfaction (ignored, devalued, blamed and undermined) to joyous, expansive love is one of starting from the end... of holding a vision of what it is that you wish to create, and really feeling yourself being in that relationship you envision... visualizing the relationship (not focusing on the person). We can fine-tune our communications, to show our partner that they still enchant and attract us, and that we still care so very much for them.

I'm very positively impressed at the advice, candor, and clarity of SETTLE FOR MORE, and give this book my highest recommendation for everyone who is in or is considering being in a committed romantic relationship.

I was surprised to see Robert's review on this book. Robert is my ex. This book made me realize that I did not have to settle for the type of marriage and stormy relationship as Robert and I shared. I could have a relationship that centered on both me and my partner...a team & "best friends" relationship....to avoid relationships that place you as a domestic slave to your partner's selfish needs. No, this book does not deliver a partner to you...but it makes you understand how to strive for quality and compatibility. Perhaps that is why Robert and I are divorced?

Within the first 60 pages the way you handle relationships in general will change. It will open your eyes and change the life you live. And make you become a better parent as well as a better significant other. AND a better friend. This book can be used in any and all relationships. I look to it for guidance and inspiration a lot. A must read for the person wanting their relationships to succeed and prosper.

I have had the opportunity to discuss the the core ideas and methods of improving relationships with the authors during their writing of this book. Reading the finished product has indeed been a delight. The Merrills' ideas on relationship enhancement take concepts that are familiar to most all of us, but arrange in a manner that few of us would have considered. Yet it is the new arrangement of concepts that allows the method in the book to be so powerful in transforming relationships, whether the relationship is with a spouse, a friend, or a co-worker. I highly recommend the book to anyone who wants to improve a relationship they are in.

This book is more for a therapist than an average reader. I kept wanting to know this model they kept referring to but they didn't finally tell you it until the 6th chapter. I think they could have did this much sooner. I read this book with two other people and we all were frustrated by it. We like to read but this book was not good at holding our attention.

Jack Nicholson said it best in the movie "As Good As It Gets" - "people that talk in metaphors can shampoo my crotch". That's all this book is ... one big metaphor ... from the "sticks" to the "apples". Do the authors think we are too stupid to follow straightforward explanations. And please, those illustrations. This book is just another example of authors taking a 15-page idea and expanding it into 200 pages in order to sell a book. Save your money!