Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Changes your Attitude and Self Esteem, May 20, 2008
This review is from: Seven Days to Sex Appeal: How to Be Sexier Without Surgery, Weight Loss, or Cleavage (Paperback)
I know there are many women out there who say "I am too fat / thin / tall / short" to be sexy. They think sexy is about big boobs or a thin waist, and only surgery or extreme diets will help them out.
This book is a clear explanation of why that is NOT the case. Many studies over the years have shown that men are drawn to a woman because of the attitude she projects. We can certainly all name actresses who are all of the above "problem shapes" who still come across as quite sexy. It is related to their self assurance, how they move, how they use their eyes, mouth and hands.
There are many studies, for example, that show the power and importance of "mirroring". As the book explains, mirroring is when you match your partner's vocal patterns (speed of talking, tone) as well as their movements (large, small). It affects you on a very primal level.
People react naturally to eye contact. A too sharp / steady look is predatory and makes you defensive. No eye contact at all makes you feel ignored and uncared for. It is a happy middle, where you get looks to show you matter, but not stares as if you are prey, that works best. The book goes into exactly how to achieve that.
There will be women who say "I don't want to play games! I want someone to like me for me!" But certainly those women will agree that interacting with others - men OR women - is about making the experience pleasant for both people. If you went out with a guy OR girl and took over the conversation, talking in a loud, brash voice non stop, not caring if they were interested or paying attention, that this would not be healthy. Interacting well with another human is about using friendly body language, showing interest in what they say, encouraging them to share in the conversation and so on. If a woman already knows what is in this book, then good for them! But for the MANY women who simply do not know or understand this type of information, the book is a great primer on how to interact better with others.
How about the pages on "how to walk" and "how to sit"? Again, as silly as it might seem to some, there really ARE walks and postures that project self confidence and happiness. You can easily do a study on your own. Sit on the corner of a plaza some weekend, at a cafe, and people watch. Look at the women who walk past the table. You can quickly see that a slouched, shuffling, eyes-down walk is far less "healthy looking" than one which is upright, good posture, springy step. People are naturally drawn to people who seem vibrant and happy.
It's like learning martial arts, or yoga, or any other system like that. The more you feel good about yourself, and the more you care for your health, the more it shows in your face and posture. You don't have to be thin or big busted. If you are happy, confident and healthy, that attracts people. This book helps you in that same way.
Now, there are certainly issues with the book. The entire book is told in a long narrative between "student" and "coach". It can get tedious at times to read the story in this fashion, and by its nature you only get to hear one person's problems or successes instead of talking about a variety of situations ("what if I have problems standing for long periods of time? What if I have short hair?"). Next, in an attempt to be cute, each page is printed on a different color of "wallpaper". It makes it hard to read. Finally, I do really appreciate that they used drawings rather than photos of women - women tend to be really judgmental / jealous when looking at photos. But that being said, many of the drawings just aren't well done, to illustrate the point they are trying to make. They should have used much more clear drawings, perhaps with arrows or lines pointing to the item they are trying to highlight.
The traits they brought out in the book really do work, and they really do matter - not just to men, but to other humans in general. It might seem "silly" that evolved, intelligent humans react to things like eye contact and posture - but then again, is it? We all want to be cared for, and we want to be with people who are happy. We take shortcuts in figuring these things out. We don't have the luxury of talking to each new person we pass at a party for 2 hours to determine in any level of detail what they are like. We make some quick guesses based on clothing, posture, body language and facial expressions and we go from there. It's how society has to work if we are going to have parties that last under 300 hours each :) This book helps you put your best foot forward in those situations, and to help others know if you are interested in them.
If you really don't believe in this book's message, try this experiment. Dress in baggy sweats, an old t-shirt, and don't comb your hair for your next party. Go in without looking at anyone, grab a drink, and curl up in a far corner, staring morosely at your drink, shoulders hunched. If anybody does approach you, it'll probably be a close friend wondering if you are OK. How we act and move DOES send a clear message to those around you. Learn to make sure that message is one you want to have sent.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Such methods do work, though book has some flaws in delivery, April 2, 2008
This review is from: Seven Days to Sex Appeal: How to Be Sexier Without Surgery, Weight Loss, or Cleavage (Paperback)
Full disclosure: I received a free review copy of this book.
While I pretty much don't relate to this book on a personal level, I tried to look at it dispassionately. Therefore, my review is limited to how well the book fulfilled its stated objective and whether it would be appealing and useful to its target demographic, which I perceive as conventional single women who are looking for ways to improve how they present themselves in social situations with romantic potential.
The book packs in a lot of useful information, though the continuous narrative method was a little overwhelming. Additional organization, such as a few well-placed subheadings, would have been effective, especially for the repeated reference it might take to get all this advice into play beyond the initial seven-day crash course. The sidebars and boxes contained useful information, and they weren't overused, which is a common sin with these types of books.
The somewhat dismissive characterization of the student, Sally, as defensive every time she had a question or expressed opposition or reluctance became tedious and eventually a bit alienating. Her concerns could have been handled more like those of a reasonably intelligent woman with valid issues regarding some of the advice she was being given, and less like annoying obstacles to compliance.
The overview of male body language and signaling in the context of a date or social interaction was helpful, as was the brief discussion of how to tone down body language in the workplace.
Aesthetically, the heavy glossy paper made the book a bit heavy to handle, but gave it a nice slick feeling that probably would appeal to the apparent target demographic. Also, given the heavy paper, the cover crease was a nice touch. Unfortunately, a lot of the backgrounds were distracting and at worst some of them made the type hard to read. Clearly, the intention was to keep it lively and fun, but it crossed over into pointless frivolity, and I half expected to see a sticker page like Lucky magazine.
The illustrations adequately conveyed the concepts. Illustrations were actually more appropriate here than photographs because they effectively assisted the reader in applying the methods to herself rather than being distracted or discouraged by any perceived physical advantages a photo model might have.
Overall, the book was informative and delivered on its promise of learning some sex appeal skills in a short time. It could be quite useful to women who feel that their body language might be at cross-purposes with their romantic goals.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Non-surgical sex-appeal enhancements from a man's perspective..., June 16, 2010
This review is from: Seven Days to Sex Appeal: How to Be Sexier Without Surgery, Weight Loss, or Cleavage (Paperback)
I will point out right from the start that I am a man writing this review. I got this book as part of a batch of books to review. I had hoped my wife would read and review it for me given the material's intended audience, but after tiring of waiting on her while I received friendly reminders from the publisher that I still hadn't held up my end of the bargain, I decided to do it myself. Perhaps some of you ladies out there will appreciate a man's take on this book's propositions.
First off, generally speaking I applaud the concept behind the book as I do think that too many women unnecessarily turn to surgical alternatives in order to enhance their sex appeal. My wife may not exactly have a centerfold's figure, but she is a natural beauty and I am pleased with her appearance and appreciate her unique if less-than-'perfect'-by-Playboy's-standards features. I find myself turned off by women her are cosmetically enhanced especially when in cases where it seems to me that said woman would be plenty attractive without the artificially upturned nose, augmented breasts, inflated lips or stretched-tight forehead. (And not too mention that I have always thought that a woman that was a little plump is preferable to one that is too skinny.) In summary, I agree with the authors' assertion that most women -- if not all -- can learn to get more out of what they've got rather than looking to artifically alter or enhance their bodies. Sex appeal is a lot more about confidence, a positive attitude, friendliness, approachability and presenting oneself well than it is about big boobs, fat-free hips, permanently-pouty lips and a wrinkle-free forehead. Ladies, if you tend to or want to attract men who appreciate the latter list to the former, you are probably in for very superficial relationships that may only last until an even more enhanced woman comes along. I'd even goes as far as to say that those positive personality traits are even more likely to determine better sex than the exaggerated physical traits do.
That said, I found some of the advice for women to be reasonable and practical while some other suggestions seemed to promote manipulation and superficiality. On the positive side, I think women would benefit from confidence-building/confidence-projecting changes such as presenting themselves well via improved posture, flattering clothig and adding a bit of femininity -- if lacking -- to your movements and gestures (not many men appreciate a masculine touch when it comes to women). Also, I think many of the suggestions regarding improving communication techniques were valid as they are useful not only for becoming more appealing to men but for improving interpersonal communication and, therefore, relationships in general so by all means follow their advice regarding eye contact, showing interest through responsiveness, etc.
However, I was a little put off by the underlying idea that a woman needs to be sure to be perceived as listening through discreet signals but the authors never mention that fundamental to the idea of appearing to listen is to actually LISTEN. Taking their advice, some women might be making such an effort to send listening signals that they forget to listen in the first place! Also on the negative side, too much of the advice struck as being overly artificial and the underlying message was that the techniques would not only help you to attract men but to let them know you were open to sex. They even seem to imply that it's a good technique to insinuate that you are open to sex even if you aren't planning on having sex. I don't think any men find mixed signals attractive -- especially if they are looking for sex, you convince you are open to sex but you are really not at all interested in sex. At the same time, I realize that some of the female consumers of this book are looking for sex -- and no doubt many men are looking for it -- but it seems to promote the idea that these techniques will help you in the CASUAL sex department which seems to me a questionable pursuit in today's reality. That said, I am fully aware the the books aim is to increase a woman's SEX appeal and not merely her attractiveness or self-confidence.
My wife is a woman that naturally does many of the things that are in this book and no doubt that is one of the reasons I found her so attractive when I met her years ago. I enjoy and appreciate her natural sex appeal. Reflecting on the material in this book, I think I would be put off if I had somehow discovered while we were dating that her signals weren't naturally spontaneous but that she had learned and practiced them and was using them to maneuver me to her. No doubt my hormone-driven side wouldn't have taken exception to her purposefully employing a little licking of her own lips and looking at me with bedroom eyes, but it's a lot more satisfying and sexy when I catch her doing those things so naturally that she hardly realizes she's doing it. All that said, I think every woman has her own, natural ways of expressing interest in order to communicate attraction to a man, so every woman should explore her own tendencies and techniques in that area and rather than forcing the use of unnatural methods, maybe it's only necessary that she not be afraid to let her more innate gestures surface with more frequency.
Finally, I agree with other reviewers that the constant change of 'wallpaper' behind the text makes the book that much harder to read visually speaking. Also, I also agree that while the illustrations are pleasant enough and of good quality, sometimes it is difficult to understand well exactly what they are supposed to communicate (e.g., Sally with ankles interlocked vs. Sally with ankles interlocked and slightly turned -- can't see much enough of a difference to be able to imitate her position). As well, the canned conversation between the authors and their composite-based, imaginary client, Sally, did become tedious after a while and often made me feel as though I were watching a cheesy infomercial. And lastly, in the book's opening pages, the authors basically describe Sally, the imaginary client, as a very attractive woman with a nice figure who has bad posture, a whiny voice and generally carries herself in a way that communicates a lack of confidence. In other words, she's got a pretty face and a hot body, we just need to help her show that sexy package she's got to better advantage. I would imagine that a lot of women don't fit that physical description and as such might find it difficult to imagine themselves as a Sally. The authors state that these tips will work to improve anyone's sex appeal -- and they probably would -- but they only present the case of helping an already attractive woman. It seems it would have been helpful for some readers to also see them helping a woman of a more ordinary level of attractiveness or even somewhat unattractive at the outset.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
|
|
Most Recent Customer Reviews
|
