The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make [Paperback]

Carolyn N. Bushong (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 6, 1999

Yes, the man may be different, but those relationship problems never seem to change. Why is that? Couples counselor Carolyn N. Bushong knows the answer. In her more than twenty years' experience in the field of love, she has heard every conceivable reason for failed romance--and she has distilled them into seven classic mistakes even smart women make over and over again. It's time to break the pattern. Through real-life case studies, clear explanations, and proven advice, Bushong challenges women to take control of their love lives. She has revitalized countless relationships--and now she gives you her time-tested techniques.

If you
- Force intimacy--discover how to pull back
- Expect your mate to read your mind--learn how to communicate openly
- Play the martyr--find out what you really need
- Assume you're always right--recognize other people's point of view
- Rescue your mate--realize the impossibility of the task at hand
- Take your mate for granted--devise ways to keep that mate from straying
- Let passion die--take control of your feelings and let loose

History does not have to repeat itself. Mistakes don't have to happen. Once you arm yourself with the knowledge, compassion, and insight of The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make, you can find or keep that man for a lifetime. The keys are here--the door is yours to open.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Shah, whose main claims to authority seem to be that he worked for Playboy and has had many failed relationships, has put together a self-indulgent book. He outlines the build-up and fall-down of his 13-year relationship with "Carmen." In the course of this expose, he spouts unproven theories about women and relationships that are regressive enough to make even Phyllis Schlafly blush. As if the content weren't bad enough, the writing style seems to be more Penthouse than Playboy: "The three days that followed saw us making love in every corner of my apartment, even at the top of the San Ynez mountains." It seems that Shah and "Carmen" could have benefited from reading Bushong's book. Bushong, a psychotherapist with years of media experience, has put together a no-frills guide to keeping relationships honest. She could well be called the great enumerator; in addition to the seven dumb mistakes, she includes the "16 essential elements of a healthy relationship," "four steps to healthy communication," "five great intimacy builders," and so on. There's not a lot surprising or controversial in this book, but it is clearly written, and most of the advice rings true. Most public libraries could benefit from acquiring Bushong's book, but Shah's book is not recommended.?Pamela A. Matthews, Univ. of Maryland Lib., Baltimore
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"[A] clear, honest, and practical guide . . . A refreshing voice."
--Publishers Weekly

"Insightful . . . Once you start turning the pages, this book can either: 1) make you angry because you feel you've been 'found out'; or 2) prompt a smile as you quietly identify with a category or two. . . . [Bushong's] categories aren't pithy. They are solid guides for contemplation for people who want to learn and grow. . . . This is an honest book."
--The Rocky Mountain News

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; Ballantine Books ed edition (April 6, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0449005690
• ISBN-13: 978-0449005699
• Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.6 x 8.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #375,006 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A life-changing must-read for anyone who cares about anyone., June 17, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes That Smart People Make (Hardcover)

Years of marriage counseling for about 15 bucks.

"Seven Dumbest" is filled with useful help for improving your relationship with your current or future significant other. It turns out that advice for "big R" Relationships is useful for "little r" relationships as well. Very readable. Give copies to your friends so that they too will know how to work on a rewarding, balanced Relationship.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Good! A wake-up call!, October 9, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes That Smart People Make (Hardcover)

This book caught my attention! Find out if you are controlling or dependant. Are you trying to chase your partner? Are you wondering why he/she is pushing you away? If so, then the problem could be YOU! You need to be happy w/yourself before you can get love from someone else! This book covers all the bases. My mate wanted more freedom. Well, I tried to control my mate. Saying "I love you" too soon can scare anyone away! I had to give my partner space! But, you can only give your partner space if, and only if, you feel confident in yourself! If you need balance in your relationship, then this book is for you!

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Perfect, October 13, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make (Paperback)

Excellent book if you care to maintain a good relationship. The chapter on Communication is especially good and suggestion to improve how to talk with your mate helped me a lot.