The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved [Paperback]

Matthew Kelly (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 9, 2007

BUILD THE STRONG, DEEPLY POWERFUL RELATIONSHIPS YOU'VE ALWAYS DESIRED

We all crave the heartwarming, incomparable connection of intimacy. But oftentimes, this complete, unrestrained sharing of ourselves is too daunting a task. Now, in The Seven Levels of Intimacy, Matthew Kelly explains step by step how to move beyond our fears and experience the power of true intimacy. By achieving each of Kelly's seven levels, we can understand and gain confidence in our partners and ourselves until we are fully able to experience love, commitment, trust, and happiness.

With profound insight and the use of powerful and relatable examples, The Seven Levels of Intimacy redefines the most important relationships in our lives and how we view our interactions with one another. By finally comprehending and experiencing the great depths of intimacy, we can create the strong connections, deep joy, and lasting bonds that we all long for in our lives.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A throwaway buzzword in pop psychology, intimacy remains a litmus test for the health of relationships and is something everyone should strive for, says Kelly, the bestselling author of The Rhythm of Life. "Intimacy is the one thing a person cannot live happily without," he writes. Since many people cling to the "pubescent notion" that intimacy and sex are synonymous, Kelly begins by talking about what intimacy is not-sex, common interests-and proffering up inspirational tidbits and oft heard motivational questions ("Who energizes you?" "Why do they energize you?" "How do you want to be remembered?") before hammering home the thesis of this book: intimacy is a "legitimate need." His seven levels of intimacy-clichés; facts; opinions; hopes and dreams; feelings; faults, fears and failures; and legitimate needs-each get a chapter-length discussion. Kelly advocates openness-in communication, enduring pain, delaying gratification-and sprinkles in bits of spirituality in cajoling readers to foster intimacy, and, in turn, love and the meaning of life. "Life is about love. It's about whom you love and whom you hurt. Life's about how you love and hurt the people close to you." His view may seem simplistic, but Kelly's simple, direct prose and patient explanations will appeal to spiritual readers.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"A highly readable, well-written book that contains deep wisdom and practical guidance about relationships that will be useful to everyone seeking genuine and durable intimacy, especially couples. I especially appreciate his thesis that love is a commitment to helping the other become the best person he can be. I highly recommend it."

-- Harville Hendrix, Ph. D., author of "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples" --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Touchstone (January 9, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743265122
• ISBN-13: 978-0743265126
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 6.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (50 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #20,446 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Matthew Kelly, the New York Times bestselling author of The Rhythm of Life and The Dream Manager has been captivating audiences around the world since his late teens. Over the past decade, more than four million people have attended his seminars in over fifty countries. Kelly is the president of Floyd Consulting.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

102 of 106 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars We All Have Relationships, Mostly Unthinkingly, November 18, 2005

By 

John Matlock "Gunny" (Winnemucca, NV) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved (Hardcover)

I don't believe that the most reclusive of us wants to go through life alone. We are social beings and we want to have friends, we want to share our lives with someone. Perhaps it's just someone to talk to at first, but sooner or later we want it to switch to mutual love.

Mr. Kelly has written an interesting book. The first six chapter are about what intimacy is not. Intimacy is not sex, it's not common interests, it's not 118 pages of things.

Only with this base established does he go on to describing what true intimacy is, how it developes over time. He starts with cliches. This is the way we communicate when we really don't know each other. At that time neither party is ready to exchange the deepest emotions. And if you start to tell someone about yours they'll wonder what's wrong with you. By the seventh level however, which he calls Legitimate Needs, we need to have the ability to tell our partners that we're beat tonight and just want to have a drink and veggie out in front of the TV.

He continues with ten reasons that people don't have a great relationship. Unfortunately they all make sense. As you read them, you can see where relationships fell apart. Finally he concludes with designing a relationship and putting that plan into effect.

Mr. Kelly has clearly thought out the issues of relationships and has written a book that explains a lot.

29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars This is not about physical intimacy as you may think, November 10, 2006

By 

Highland8 "Annie" (Highland, IL USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved (Hardcover)

Matthew Kelly is such a great inspiration! This book is not about the physical part of intimacy. Rather, it talks about how you grow in relationships with friends and family. Matthew encourages readers to be with people that bring out the "best-version" of themselves. He wants all of us to share our dreams; even keep track of our dreams. After we decide what we want to do, we make a plan, and surround ourselves with people who will help us be that best we can be.
I would also suggest that people buy his book "The Rhythm of Life" which is a definate 5 star book. I think these two books give you a lot to think about and work on in relationships. I can honestly say that some of my relationships have improved since I have changed some things within myself.

28 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Seven Levels of Intimacy, February 22, 2006

By 

Diane Dixon (Xenia, Ohio) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved (Hardcover)

Great read - captivating - thought provoking - inspiring - excellent exercises to put into play what you read/learn. A catalyst for change - sure wets one's appetite for intimacy in the truest sense of the word. Gives courage to ask for more in the relationships that matter most.