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Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Good condition of the book and affordable price and very good guidelines and helpful advice for strengthening marriage.Published 5 days ago by Hoppers2180
Best scientific approach to marriage communication available. Dr. Gottman's Seattle weekend retreat is a must for any couple struggling with marital issues, communication... Read morePublished 5 days ago by KB Schaetzel-Hill
In the process of reading this book now. We picked it based on the reviews but since discovered it was the book our marriage therapist recommended several weeks ago. Read morePublished 9 days ago by NACMJW
I bought the CD version of this book to listen to while driving my car. I would like to applaud the author for not making the book another excuse for male bashing but gives many... Read morePublished 10 days ago by Ausie Boy