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Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
I think Gottman really has something here. He even debunks some of the common, widely-accepted marital advice that most struggling couples are given. Read morePublished 1 day ago by A. Snyder
This is a wonderful book laced with grace and spirituality that guides men and women to a better understanding of the mechanics of a good - and bad - relationship. Read morePublished 8 days ago by William Wilems Jr
Wish I had this book before my marriage went to hell. Lots of important items in this book that apply to marriages as well as committed relationships... Read morePublished 10 days ago by Kalendrinn
My pastor had my fiancee and I go through this book together during pre-marital counseling. We got a lot out of it, and the exercises have been very useful. Read morePublished 11 days ago by tCarf