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Sex After . . .: Women Share How Intimacy Changes as Life Changes Hardcover – February 6, 2014


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Editorial Reviews

Review

"[Krasnow] alternates well-researched passages full of relevant statistics and quotes with frank stories about sex after major life events such as childbirth, illness, infidelity, and more...Those skeptical of Krasnow's assertion that, in the realm of sex, 'the 70s are the new 40s' surely will change their minds after reading this lusty litany"
Bookpage

"[Krasnow] is a knowledgeable guide who shows great respect to the variety of life circumstances and aims to put readers at ease...there is osmething relatable for everyone and many opportunities to gain new knowledge as one moves through life."
Publishers Weekly

"A nuanced, revelatory account of the role of sexual freedom in modern intimacy"
Kirkus Reviews

"We think that sex is eternal but in fact our ideas on sex do change with the decades. Sex After… is full of comforting information about these changes. A book that will be read and reread with gratitude."
—Erica Jong, New York Times bestselling author of Fear of Flying
 
“This book will start conversations that need to be had, and discussions about female sexual health and pleasure that need to be better understood. Some of the best and most practical advice comes from those who have been there. I also know change to, and in, our sex lives is inevitable and that women want to know what other women really do to recreate their intimate and sexual landscape. Part validation, part guide, part supportive girlfriend, Sex After... is your close girlfriends in book form sharing the real goods—and I mean real goods—on what they did and do.”
—Lou Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook and AASECT Certified Sex Educator


Praise for The Secret Lives of Wives

"One of Ten Titles to Pick Up Now. ‘Boyfriends with boundaries,’ separate summers, and other therapeutic strategies for maintaining wedded bliss over the long haul."
O, the Oprah Magazine

"At first this book terrified me: another submission and sacrifice marriage manual for wives? Instead Iris Krasnow delivers astonishing candor, realistic compassion, and invaluable wisdom when it comes to how paradoxically infuriating and rewarding long-term marriages can be. The best book on marriage ever."
— Leslie Morgan Steiner

 
"In this breathtaking book, The Secret Lives of Wives, Iris Krasnow opens a window into the inner world of women whose unique courage and vision has enabled them to find relationship happiness over the long term. With wit and wisdom, she thoughtfully tells their stories and then fills the reader with brilliant ideas and concepts to apply to their own lives. This is as much of a men’s book as it was written by and for women."
— Dr. Bill Cloke
 

"Iris Krasnow has managed to demystify the workings of long-term marriages by confirming the mysterious uniqueness of each one. The secret, she finds, lies in the way two people negotiate their own personal amalgam of companionship and sex, compromise and disappointment, lust and tenderness, trust and lies. The challenge for the rest of us is to do the same."
— Suzanne Braun Levine

 
"She whips up a spirited, enlightening cocktail of comfort, support and grace. Fulfilling and well-structured."
Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Iris Krasnow is a New York Times bestselling author, most recently of The Secret Lives of Wives, a journalist, professor, and professional speaker. She lives near Washington, DC, with her husband of twenty-five years. They have four grown sons.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Gotham (February 6, 2014)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1592408273
  • ISBN-13: 978-1592408276
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 6 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #231,426 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

The writing style is fluid and the messages are clear.
Amazon Customer
Having finished the book, I feel in most instances that the issues weren't sufficiently addressed and that I am no wiser.
Ms. Kat
This is a remarkable book…Krasnow has told secrets that men are as likely to learn from as women.
ChiTom

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 35 people found the following review helpful By Donna on February 18, 2014
Format: Hardcover
The prologue was promising, but chapter one shattered that dream with words such as "loin-twanger." (Seriously?) It jumped around randomly, which proved the same in subsequent chapters. For example, Krasnow goes directly from Andy Griffith's role in PLAY THE GAME to the Bible, suggesting that the "writhing and phallic serpent" only wanted to introduce Adam and Eve to sex, not sin, that the snake "basically tells them to get it on..." Well, ummm...no. Not even halfway into the first chapter, I was ready to abandon it.

However, my initial interest was sparked by the chapters titled "Sex After His Illness" (my husband's chemotherapy) and "Sex After Menopause" (my own hormonal rollercoaster). I felt I at least owed it to the book and its author to read those chapters.

In "Sex After His Illness," both stories were from newlyweds dealing with pregnancy and babies. You cannot, of course, address every circumstance, but why have two people in similar positions as the only examples, especially when the previous chapter was "Sex After Baby"? I felt for Richaela, the young wife of a Marine who lost his leg during a deployment. And, I liked that the story was told in her voice. However, she needed some guidance to put it in a coherent order. It would have been beneficial for Krasnow to ask questions for clarification. I don't expect the women who tell these stories to be writers, but I expected it of Krasnow. Most unsettling about Richaela's account was how severe her husband's PTSD was—yet there is no mention of counseling. Instead, Krasnow uses the missing limb to launch into research on the regeneration of genitals.

When Krasnow introduces Julia, she gets it wrong from the start, saying Julia's husband got sick right after their first child was born.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Sarah T on February 26, 2014
Format: Hardcover
I received an ARC of this book for review.
I was expecting great things from this book, but they were not delivered.
The beginning was lots of stories about 20-somethings and how sexual their lives are, how they 'hook up' and text to get sex.
The later chapters were divided into reasons why sex may be more difficult or absent. But there were no real suggestions on how to improve my sex life should any of those things occur, just a series of stories by women who had experienced those things and how it affected them, and how the issues resolved. For example, the young wounded warrior wife whose husband gradually got better healthwise and then the sex improved because he had more strength and stamina. The chapter on 'his parts' gave a detailed explanation of how male sex drive can be affected by both physical issues and emotional/mental ones. But no real help was offered.
I feel like the author was focusing less on sex than on emotional/romantic connections and how important THOSE are and how penetrative orgasmic sex doesn't really matter if you have that. Also there was no comment at all on older women who want to have sex outside of a committed partnered relationship. With some women choosing to remain single and sexually active, that segment of the population was ignored.
All in all, I was not impressed with this book and the way sex was addressed with women who are experiencing difficulties of any kind.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Wendy on March 13, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Not what I expected. Was expecting more factual information, not stories of other's lives. Couldn't even finish this book, disappointed.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Ms. Kat on March 28, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition
I am not a fan of this book. While it would not necessarily be reasonable to anticipate a scientific approach of the subject matter based on the book's description, I was hoping for a more balanced read. The author includes interviews with women in various stages of life with an emphasis on those years and circumstances that pose challenges to the contemporary perception of female sexuality. As someone who hasn't experienced firsthand many of those life events, I was curious to learn what challenges lay ahead. Having finished the book, I feel in most instances that the issues weren't sufficiently addressed and that I am no wiser.

The tone in chapter after chapter felt almost like a cheerleading chant reiterating that women can continue having a fulfilling sex life at each stage of their life. Quite a bit of the anecdotal advice was repetitive. Finally I felt slightly uncomfortable that the author often chose to emphasise the attractive physical appearance of those women who had success stories to share, in many instances inclusive of materialistic attributes, as well, such as the fact that they arrived for their interview wearing designer shoes.

I don't enjoy writing a negative review, but I didn't find this book particularly informative and would not recommend it.

I received this book as a Library Thing Early Reviewer, but that did not influence my review.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By ChiTom on February 19, 2014
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This is a remarkable book…Krasnow has told secrets that men are as likely to learn from as women. She has done it through the voices of dozens of people we can all identify with...plus a sprinkling of her own. It's filled with smart, no-holds-barred statements about sex, but it’s really a guide for making the most out of our intimate relationships, no matter what circumstances or difficulties life has brought. Though she has been a successful writer for women, everybody, including men of all ages, will benefit from Sex After. With its wide variety of subjects and interviewees, Krasnow's provocative book has spelled out in detail what women want for themselves and their partners.
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