Customer Reviews

Sex Begins in the Kitchen: Creating Intimacy to Make Your Marriage Sizzle

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I love this book! I think every married couple or couple thinking of getting married, should read this book. It really helps you to have realistic expectations. This book is wonderfully informative but also very entertaining and fun to read. Having seen Kevin Leman deliver this message in person, the book is a wonderful reference to go back and read from time to time. BUY IT!

Let's just say that the title has proven quite true!
If you are the typical guy who works, comes home tired, kicks back in front of the tube or the computer, then around bedtime starts to "notice" your wife, this book is for you!

The author brings to light some very good points...wish I'd found him a long time ago. I'm looking forward to reading some of his other titles.

This really helps you understand the importance of loving and how love is a CHOICE and how you were drawn to that person in the first place cause sometime we forget.lol. I think everyone who's in a relationship should read this book.

What a great book! It really helps you see why the opposite sexes act the way they do, and what makes people respond to situations the way they do. It really just makes sense, and it seems that we lose common sense sometimes and take our own relationships for granted. Remember that a great relationship does take nurturing, but when you realize some of the basics that are laid out in this book, it makes things so much easier, thus making your relationship so much better. It's a book to have around and reread, give your partner a copy, read it together or separate, highlight areas of importance. Keep an open mind, and you will likely have many, many "ah-haa" moments, as I did. :-)

Fun and entertaining reading. Very valuable information for couples of all ages. I bought this book the first time 8 years ago when I got married and bought it this time for a dear friend who is getting married soon.

Last year for Christmas, my mother bought this for myself and my brother-in-laws. It was an effort to get one dim-witted son-in-law to change his ways. We were instructed to read this by this Christmas.

Let me describe my personality and relationship with my wife before giving my review:

I grew up with 5 sisters and my mother (the least "manly" of circumstances, if you will). I've learned that there are keys to successful relationships with both men and women.
I'm the type of husband that tries hard to surprise my wife for the better and do nice things for her. My wife tells me that she wants to eat out? I take the opportunity to tell her to dress nice and be excited. We don't leave the house without style and I tell her she's drop dead gorgeous but don't rush her as she takes what seems like forever to get ready. We show up to the restaurant and she sees that I drove her to McDonald's. I park the car and look at her with those, "Aren't you proud of me?" eyes. She smiles hesitantly, with that, "Really? Please, don't do this to me." look in her eyes. I get out of the car, open her door for her and walk her AROUND McDonald's to that fancy restaurant next door that she didn't know about.
Example 2, for V-Day I give her lots of surprises you can't find in a search on Google for "The best 3 things to do on V-Day" because I want her to have something unique and special just for her.
Example 3, When she wants to vent and be mad, it's not my opportunity to solve all of her problems. I've learned to shut up, not give my opinion and leave my "solutions" out of it. Instead, I sit and listen to her and hold her when she's ready. End of story. I've never met a woman who didn't agree that this is what they want!

That being said, women of the world, "DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!" Hear my cry: Your husbands will NOT read it! There are great books out there to help a man know how to change but this isn't one of those books.
I want to highlight some easy-to-notice mistakes the author makes and also enlighten you to see that this book was designed with the sole purpose to boost the author's confidence in his life knowledge and fulfill his career all while make a little bit of money: this book was not written with your relationship in mind.

I know that's a harsh statement, and maybe the author's subconscious had him write the book for career fulfillment, but let's just study the first 50 pages and you will see a small part of why I came to that conclusion:

First, let me just say that "Dr." Kevin Leman has a beautiful and witty style about his writing. He has a way to draw his readers in emotionally. He appeals to the nurturing, loving and kind side of all of us. Women, in particular, will love his stories as he demonstrates how well he understands the daily struggles that you have to put up with and the ideal relationship that you seek after. He shakes the "no-no finger" at men for their terribly neglectful habits of watching sports and not responding to conversation. This and many other factors have you dying to know more about his book and by page 5 you're convinced that he is going to spend the next 200 pages putting your husband through marriage boot camp.
I don't want to burst your hopes, but on the contrary, what the author is doing is selling you. "Dr." Leman wants you to think "Yes! Yes! That's exactly how I feel! I must buy this book because my husband will see the light!"
Please be careful! Think this through. If this book appeals and makes sense to you, remember that it will NOT make sense to your husband! You watch Lifetime - he watches ESPN. You read Home and Garden - He reads the most random things he can find.

The men that "Dr." Kevin Leman CLAIMS that he is targeting are brute, gruff, "I don't care about anyone but myself", couch potato, cavemen.
Again, what types of things do they enjoy reading? ESPN magazine, Auto Trader, sex-oriented magazines (hopefully not, but probable)! I promise you, your husbands will read 20 pages of this (if you are lucky) and want to die because of how boring and soft they feel the nature of the book is.

I know that 99.9% of people who bought this book were women. "Dr." (I use quotation marks because he doesn't deserve his title) Leman is nothing more than a CON for targeting you.
One of the first things "Dr." Leman addresses in his book is that women and men are DIFFERENT. How we think, how we act, what we respect - almost everything. With that knowledge, the author knows VERY well that he is NOT addressing men when writing this book. As a "psychologist" he knows very well that men are not going to be interested in the way he presents his information and are not going to read the book at all. If he TRULY wanted to help men be better husbands than HE WOULD WRITE A BOOK THAT MEN WANT TO READ! I'm extremely mad that he took advantage of my mom and every other women who bought this book with any hopes at all that the men in their lives would read and benefit from it.

If you want to buy a book for a man, buy a man a book that is recommended by a man that you want your husband to be more like! Especially if it's a man who used to be a lot like your husband! Most likely, men will prefer a book written by an author that is BLUNT! Someone who says, "Look loser! Get off your butt and help your wife so she'll have sex with you! You're an idiot if you didn't realize that you will have the best sex of your life the more you find little ways to help her in non-sexual ways - and they are LITTLE ways! Let's get to work!"

Men aren't as simple minded as that though (even if we pretend to be).There's one more very powerful aspect that makes a book valuable in a man's opinion. LOGIC. For a man, an argument isn't about the problem. He just wants to be ____ (fill in the blank)... ... how did you know that the blank was "right"? Anyway, we all know that men like to be "right", because they LOVE LOGIC - even if it sounds like it makes sense but doesn't, we will call it fact if it looks like some research went into the study. "Dr." Leman is a fool, or a con, because he doesn't back his book up with statistics or data to promote his OWN studies. He didn't write a book. He wrote an extremely long magazine article!

The author uses "perspective" instead of research and you can tell that he threw this book together without gathering real data and sometimes making up real-life stories because he even admits that he made stories up!
The example: Early in the book, the author piggy backs a study (performed for a REAL book) where 130 psychologists reveal the top 5 reasons that people get a divorce. One of those 5 reasons is "Negative Pressure Tactics". He continues to give his own example to illustrate what "Negative Pressure" could be and then states afterwards, "Well, I'm not sure if the story is true, but the point it illustrates is true."
What?! ... You mean to tell me that after 20+ years as a psychologist and all of the marriage counseling you have done, that you have agreed to title "Negative Pressure" as one of your top 5 reasons for divorce and you can't give one real life example of what "Negative Pressure" is?! WHAT?! Did you slap this book together as a summer project? (YES) Were you just trying to take advantage of your supportive audience because you knew that they would buy it because of your reputation and because it has a catchy title? (YES) Oh and you probably knew that other people would buy it impulsively because people are drawn to the seductive nature and appeal of the cover and title and wouldn't have time to read it all in stores? (YES)

To conclude, The author's analogies are terrible (I won't get into that!), he has provided little research for his studies, and he has relied on the merits of others to make a terrible book decent. To top it off, his wit and humor appeal only to women therefore making this impossible for ignorant men to read!

Women, I want you to help your husbands change. If this is your desire, to help us men become better, than PLEASE buy your husband a different book because this will do nothing for him. The only worthwhile page in this book is the reference guide on page 269. Don't rely on that page though, just look for the best reviewed books on Amazon. Typically the more reviews, the better the book. This guy ("Dr." Leman) does not deserve your money unless you plan on reading this for your own light humor or because you have time to kill and want to read a book because you know the book will listen to you rant, agree with you and will not talk back.

This was a waste of money. nothing compared to Sheet Music by the same author.
Heather

My husband and I have enjoyed reading this book. We have read a couple of books by Dr. Lehman and highly recommend it.

I would definatley recommend this book to any prior to getting married or for any couple definatley to have handy.......