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Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality [Paperback]

Darrel Ray ED.D.
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 10, 2012
Why are all the major religions consumed with sex? What makes sex so important, whether Buddhism or Islam, Christianity or Mormonism? What is the impact of religion on human sexuality? This book explores this and more. It ventures into territory that has never been examined. You will be surprised at how much religion has influenced your sexuality, who you marry, the pleasure you get or don't get from sex, and what you can do about it.

Frequently Bought Together

Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality + The God Virus: How religion infects our lives and culture + God and the Folly of Faith: The Incompatibility of Science and Religion
Price for all three: $36.47

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Read this book. Whether you are a believer, doubter, or atheist, religion influences your sexuality. Darrel Ray removes our blinders. Never again will you view religion as benign in its effects. With patience, verve, and overwhelming evidence he makes the case that religion is an STD, a sexually tarnishing disease. Religion undermines our capacities for romance, love, sex, intimacy, and parenting. Sex and God, not the Gideon Bible, needs to be in every hotel room." --J. Anderson Thomson, Jr., M.D., University of Virginia, psychiatrist, author, Why We Believe In God(s): A Concise Guide to the Science of Faith

"The gods seem to have a perverse obsession with the sex lives of mere mortals. In this comprehensive, sharply written survey, Darrel Ray takes us on a tour of the millennia-long religious crusades against guilt-free human sexual expression. I enjoyed this book. It's a fascinating, informative read." --Christopher Ryan, Ph.D., co-author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

"When it comes to hurtful hypocrisy, it appears that religion and sex may well take the cake. How appropriate therefore - and how courageous - that Darrel Ray has written Sex and God, a powerful debunking of one of the deepest yet rarely examined mythic connections of all time. Give Sex and God a try ... and then drop one of them (I'll leave it up to you to decide which!)." --David P. Barash, professor of psychology, University of Washington, and author, most recently, of Homo Mysterious: evolutionary mysteries of human nature

"Dr. Ray poignantly applies both the facts and common sense to two of society's greatest untouchables: sex and religion. Approach this book with an open mind and you will find Sex and God puts sexual power back where it belongs: with you!" --Laci Green, host of Sex+, youtube.com/lacigreen

About the Author

Dr. Darrel Ray is a psychologist and student of religion and sexuality. His third book, The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture was a best seller and changed the way many people look at religion.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 300 pages
  • Publisher: IPC Press (January 10, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0970950543
  • ISBN-13: 978-0970950543
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 0.6 x 6.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #272,323 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Darrel W. Ray is author of four books, two on organizational team issues, The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture which explores the social-psychology of religion and his latest book, Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality. He has been a psychologist for over 30 years, practicing counseling and clinical psychology for 10 years then moved into organizational psychology and consulting. He has been a student of religion most of his life and holds a MA degree in religion as well as a BA in Sociology/Anthropology and a Doctorate in psychology.

Born into a fundamentalist family and raised in Wichita, Kansas, he was surrounded by religion while growing up. He had a grandfather who preached for 40 years, cousins who were preachers and missionaries, and his parents became missionaries when they retired. For decades, he has been intensely curious about the mechanics of religion, how it influences and infects people's minds. He wrote The God Virus in response to a need for a simple and practical understanding of religious mechanics. Something anyone can understand. While Dawkins, Hitchens, Harris and Dennett have written eloquently about religion, these authors are less accessible to those who have little knowledge of philosophy, biology or religious history. Of the thousands of religious books and hundreds of sociology and anthropology books, few if any explain the methods religion uses to infect and control people and cultures. The God Virus and Sex and God, explains in common, understandable terms, religion and its consequences on individuals and society.

Darrel is the father of two adult children and has two grandsons. His hobbies include mountain climbing, flower gardening, and reading. In early 2009, he founded the rapidly growing movement called, Recovering from Religion. You can learn more about this movement at www.recoveringfromreligion.com. In 2011, he turned the organization over to a new executive director, Jerry DeWitt, and became the chairman of the board of this rapidly growing organization.

Dr. Ray travels extensively and speaks in may places about the ideas presented in Sex and God, The God Virus and his research on Sex and Secularism and Recovering from Religion. Please look at his book tour schedule to see if he will be in a place near you soon or contact him directly at IPCPress.com to book an engagement.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
56 of 61 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sex & God - It's all about GUILT February 5, 2012
Format:Paperback
After reading Darrel Ray's new book, Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality, I've been considering the following thought experiment for Believers:

Imagine for a moment that God either doesn't exist or does not care about your sex life. How would this revelation impact your sexuality?

For some, it would mean more sex, for others, less sex - but given all the considerations of research, data, history, testimonials, etc which Ray brings together on this important topic of sex and religion, for most people, the elimination of God from the equation would not result in significant changes to their sex lives. What it would definitely change is this: We would most likely cease to feel guilty about whatever it is we are doing or not doing in our bedrooms.

The religionists' great fear is that apart from the constraints of "thou shalt" and "thou shalt not" - the human race would quickly descend into an abyss of sexual debauchery. But think about it ... without the promise of eternal reward or the threat of damnation, how many of us would actually become rapists or child molesters?

Research shows that Believers engage in the same sexual behaviors, at about the same frequency, as the less religious - the only difference is they feel guilty when they do it. And it is through the guilt that religious leaders and institutions gain their power and control over ordinary people like you and me.

I highly recommend "Sex and God" - it is especially important information for women who are the particular targets of religion's need to channel powerful sexual energy into the service of the Church.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant, Fascinating & Very Informative! July 6, 2012
Format:Paperback
I finally had an opportunity to meet and spend some time with Dr. Darrel Ray last weekend, as we were both speakers at the FFRF/AFA 23rd Annual Fourth of July event. I absolutely love this guy, and his presentation on how religion distorts sexuality was a learning experience. I obtained a copy of his book, "Sex & God" (signed of course), and began reading it when I got home. I did not put it down. It would literally take a chapter-length blog post to cover all the wonderful things that are within the pages of this book, so I will touch on a couple of them and leave the rest for you to find out when you buy it.

Who Will Benefit..?

On page seventeen, Dr. Ray reveals who will benefit from reading his book. Thus, I will start here. He points out four demographics, and I quote...

*If you are young and not yet experienced in marriage or relationships, this will show you the world of dating in a religious culture. You will learn about the unconscious games used by religious people to trap ou into religion through marriage and relationships.
*If you are in a new relationship or newly married, you will learn about many hidden religious assumptions that directly impact your sex life. Examining these assumptions will give you the power to make informed decisions, free of dogma and indoctrination.
*I you have been married for 10 or 20 years or more, and want to know if your feelings and concerns are normal, this may give you some benchmarks to consider and ideas to further develop your relationship.
*Finally, if you are religious, you will be able to compare your particular religion with many others. You may want to explore such questions as, "Why do all major religions use shame and guilt, regardless of their theology or doctrine?
... Read more ›
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28 of 33 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Single Best Work on the Topic January 28, 2012
By jb
Format:Paperback
Darrel Ray's newest book, "Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality," is an amazing read!
First of all, it's informative and written in a manner that belies the academic cred of the author- this is no dry textbook- the storytelling and and narrative make it as much a page turner as any VC Andrews read under the covers with a flashlight! (Am I old or what?)
Anyhow, this is the book you need if you choose to be further enlightened and wish to be less repressed in your ideas about sex, sexuality and behavior.
For the skeptic, it's impeccably sourced and researched. Ray is no slouch in his groundwork, and the reader of this book is likely to become the most knowledgeable person s/he knows who isn't Dr. Ray.
Be sure to put your name inside your book. Everyone who picks this book up and flips through it will be inclined to not give it back!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow. This hit home with me. July 31, 2012
By Bert56
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I was raised in a Christian home by dysfunctional parents. I received no sex education prior to departing home for college at age 18. My fundamentalist Christian mother opted me out of sex education in public school and even opted me out of social dancing because it could lead to touching girls, kissing, and eventually sex! As a result of sex negative training at home, in church and even at Bible College I carried huge loads of guilt with me well into adulthood whenever I masturbated, a perfectly normal behaviour and part of the human experience. As a Bible College graduate and future ministerial candidate I even engaged in unprotected, premarital sex with my future spouse. Dr. Ray powerfully explodes the myths and lies surrounding religion`s obsession with human sexuality. This book helped me understand the years of guilt and emotional agony I went through as a result of the wrong teachings about sex offered to me by my ministers, sunday school teachers, bible college profs and christian peers. Thank you for having the courage to write this book Dr. Ray! I have ordered an extra paperback copy to pass around to my friends.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Rewrite your Sexual Roadmap
As Darrel outlines early on, using a map from the American Colonial era would be useless in today's modern world. Skyscrapers, back alleys, gang territory etc. Read more
Published 9 days ago by Winston D. Jen
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic read
A well written, thought provoking, and genuinely insightful look at sexuality from a secular perspective. This book has hugely changed my perspective on sex, and for the better. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Robert
5.0 out of 5 stars More please. I am in awe!
Absolutely one of the best books I've ever read. Raised Mormon I lived with horrible guilt daily. It affected my childhood, teens and even as an adult. I say, READ IT! Read more
Published 2 months ago by Ben
2.0 out of 5 stars Hmmmm
Have not read it all yet but so fare so good ... ... .. ... ... .. .. .. ..
Published 2 months ago by kevin oneill
5.0 out of 5 stars Great.
I am a newly-minted atheist, just starting to come out of my shell. This book helped me come to terms with a lot of the programming I willingly received as a child growing up... Read more
Published 3 months ago by FlightedChemist
5.0 out of 5 stars an interesting read
I liked this book, probably not as well as "The God Virus," because quite a bit of what was in this was already discussed in the other book. Read more
Published 3 months ago by nana1984
5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I had found this book when I was much younger.
I like to think I wouldn't have had to learn all my lessons the hard way to get to the the wonderful place I am at today if I had read something like Dr. Read more
Published 3 months ago by A. Davis
1.0 out of 5 stars I am a liar
I became an atheist at 10; my wife at 14. We met at 18 and 15. We confirmed our lack of faith, but at that age we were more influenced by hormones and lust than by intellectual... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Modesty Press
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy reading over the weekend
Every person should read this fascinating, factual book. Wien my ex and I read it before my divorce.
Dr. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Ace
4.0 out of 5 stars Great read
I bought this book as I was intrigued as to the link between sex and god as i was how strongly religion was intertwined with people's sex lives. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Earlyn Craig
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