Customer Reviews

Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery: Things You'll Never Learn From Your Plastic Surgeon

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The author, Lois Stern, has included numerous case studies in this intimate, detailed and caring book. Women seeking guidance and reassurance before undergoing cosmetic surgery will find it here in abundance. Even though society rewards those who are pretty or handsome, more than vanity is involved with most people who seek cosmetic surgery. In many cases, cosmetic surgery has literally changed people's lives, removing a perceived physical "defect" that had caused emotional or mental anguish for the patient.

Cosmetic surgery has even enabled some women to leave abusive relationships, since their self-esteem has since blossomed. However, the author does not leave out those women who were disappointed with results, for whatever reason. You must give the decision a great deal of thought ahead of time to make sure it is right for you. Unexpected post-surgical, psychological changes can be profound, unnerving, and embarrassing to deal with for anyone. This may not be a book for those with conservative beliefs, since sexual revelations from some interviewees are quite frank.

Many additional resources are included in this well-written, meticulously researched book; anyone seeking cosmetic surgery can make an intelligent and well-informed decision after reading it and following its suggestions. The book includes rating charts for self and surgeons, questionnaires, checklists, and other forms, which are also available on an optional CD. A brave, understanding, thoughtful, and often witty publication.

Although Lois Stern's book, Sex, Lies, and Cosmetic Surgery, will be of interest to most women seeking appearance enhancements, it is a must read for any contemplating a cosmetic surgical procedure. The author's research includes detailed case histories of those benefiting from surgery as well as those whose choice of surgeon and expectations proved disappointing. With personal courage, Lois Stern describes her experiences (and those of the many women she interviewed), that range from searching for the right surgeon and managing comments and concerns from friends and relatives, to conquering latent fears as the date for surgery approaches.

Sex, Lies, and Cosmetic Surgery should be read by husbands or `significant others' who either question the need for cosmetic enhancement or are confronted by some of the emotionally driven issues that emanate from it. Often these circumstances require total understanding when the post-surgical patient emerges with both psychological and physical changes. Author, Lois Stern, discusses all aspect of this sensitive subject in a light-hearted, yet sincere tone, for everyone seeking or affected by surgical enhancement of physical appearance.

Review by, David S. Rosenberg,author

If I were contemplating plastic surgery, I would want to have this wonderful resource book before starting the entire procedure. Lois Stern gives a comprehensive guide to evaluating your emotional reasons, choosing a surgeon, dealing with feelings after the change in your looks, and remaining realistic in your expectations. Her daily journal,included in the book, of the development of her own experience is frank, honest, and encouraging to others. She does not downplay the discomfort, but shares her joy after the first few days in the differences she views when she dares to look in the mirror !

The footnotes at the end of each chapter provide further references which may prove valuable. Stern also guides you through meetings with your surgeon, preparation prior to surgery, and evaluating the results. Throughout the book, you feel her warmth and humanity. It is evident that she is passionate about the subject and immensely pleased with the outcome in many ways ! Don't be afraid to read the book if you can't imagine plastic surgery for yourself. It is a very interesting way to find out what it is all about. Who know, you might be tempted !
Marilyn Flaum, retired educator
Resident f Becket, MA. and Boynton
Beach, FLA.

In reviewing SEX, LIES AND COSMETIC SURGERY, I'm attempting the same level of honesty that the author, Lois Stern, employed throughout her book. The other reviews listed here already provide a quality overview of content, so this review will be more a personal reaction.
I agreed to review this book as part of an Authors Helping Authors Team effort in a Writing Organization. It is not a book I would have picked as a 'read' of choice simply because I've never considered the procedure. What a loss that would have been!
Any woman, regardless of age, stands to be enlightened by the devotion to detail and the courage exhibited by Lois Stern in bringing this work to women and the reading public . Any man, attempting to figure out the 'quirks' of the lady in his life stands to gain a revelation into the female psyche!
Facts are backed up with credible research. Myths are dispelled. Priceless guidance is given anyone wrestling with such a decision, or a spouse or family member needing to support or understand. The entire spectrum of emotional impacts are thoughtfully presented, a result of countless hours of interviews with over 100 women. All this, and an entire wealth of follow up information and additional sources are presented in the best 'Appendix Section' I've ever seen in an 'informative nonfiction' book.
Like any compelling book of any genre, SEX, LIES AND COSMETIC SURGERY qualifies as one of those books that is hard to put down. As a fellow author, I sincerely wish Lois Stern the best of success, and I thank her for caring about women. You will, too.

Susan Haley, Author
RAINY DAY PEOPLE-THE NOVEL
RAINY DAY PEOPLE-AUDIO VERSION
FIBERS IN THE WEB

When I met Lois Stern at an authors' conference, I thought her book was a warning about the dangers of cosmetic surgery. The subtitle to her book: Things You'll Never Learn From Your Plastic Surgeon fueled my misperception. That changed into curiosity when Lois told me she had cosmetic surgery and that it changed her life in many positive ways. She looked beautiful and so natural. Where was that plastic look I always heard about? I had to learn more so bought her book.
I have been blessed with always looking 10-15 years younger than my age. Therefore getting a face lift is not a consideration for me. This book however caused a complete attitude shift for me regarding cosmetic surgery. I just wish that it was financially in reach for more people whose lives would be transformed with it but can't afford it. I have often thought that if a particular person could just get a "nose job," how it would make her drop-dead gorgeous or him more handsome.
My opinion is that if you long for what cosmetic surgery can do for you and can afford it then thoroughly reading and also researching the listed resources in this book is a must. I was impressed that Lois also included the importance of taking care of your skin. People keep telling me I have no wrinkles (my mirror disagrees). Part of that is genetics but I also have used quality skincare products.
This book is the bible for cosmetic surgery: honest, caring, and filled with useful information. Lois's personal story and photos and the stories of others makes this an easy read rather than being a clinical textbook-type read.
If you're contemplating cosmetic surgery, please read this book first. You will be glad you did.

I found this book to be most interesting. It is written in a very readable, personal style that is both informative and, at times, amusing. As someone who has wavered between " I've earned those laugh lines" and "I hate my neck," I found that I am far from alone. I gained a greater insight into why someone would opt for cosmetic surgery, dispelling the notion that people who do so are "so vain", to quote my husband. It lead to a most interesting discussion between us as to why I would have my neck "done" if I could afford to do so, and in the end, my husband understood that my reasons had little to do with vanity. Bravo to Ms Stern for being so open and honest about her experience!

Lois, I think your book is a godsend. Not everyone can be a great beauty and not many people even aspire to be. But the miracle of plastic surgery is that it can help make us more comfortable, healthier, and more attractive to ourselves and to others. And we all know, in extreme cases, it allows us to lead the lives we otherwise could not possibly have aspired to.

I know you encourage your readers, as they plan this very significant undertaking, to keep a little empathy and understanding for those nearest and dearest who will need some time to comprehend that the person they love and treasure is still there, just in a slightly (or significantly) different package.

Lillian Shah, author, Keeping Healthy by Keeping Track:
A Complete Guide to Maintaining Your Own Medical Records

Last New year's eve I decided to do some research on my upcoming Cosmetic Surgery Project and went to B&N in NYC. Since I am a very fact oriented person and Cosmetic Surgery is nice to have but not a must at all, I wanted to know what I might run into. So I bought 12 books on plastic surgery mostly medical references. And I found one with the funky title: SEX LIES AND COSMETIC SURGERY. . . and bought it too (even against my Hubbys voting, what kind a unserious book this must be). After surgery, with all those books around you, SEX . . .was the one I returned to check if the progress was normal, what to do now and so on.., because all the other literature described the procedure, but gave you never any insights how you look, what hurts, what's going on and why. I even gave a copy to my plastic surgeon in Switzerland and now he recommends it to his English speaking patients, (it saves him a lot of phone calls in the middle of the night.

Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery is a comprehensive study of the nuanced aspects of undergoing cosmetic surgery, and is thus an important source for women to consult before deciding on a procedure. The book includes factual data, self-tests and anecdotal patient accounts with which women can make a solid decision. Lois W. Stern has performed a valuable service by writing this book.

Whether or not to have cosmetic surgery is one of the biggest decisions a woman will ever make. This book will make that decision much easier.

The first question to be answered is: Why? If your self-image is in bad shape, cosmetic surgery can make a huge difference in your personal life (and your sex life). If your "problem" is deeper, like clinical depression or Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a mental health professional will help a lot more than a plastic surgeon.

Do not choose your surgeon based on his (usually it is a man) TV ads, or because he is a member of your church. Go to more than one surgeon; feeling comfortable with him is most important. After he agrees to do the surgery, disclose all medical problems or conditions you may have, no matter how small, and all medications you are taking. The doctor and anesthesiologist need to know in advance. Do some research on Doctor X. Is he Board Certified in your surgery? Has he done a number of them? Is his facility properly accredited?

Friends and family members may have very different reactions to the thought of cosmetic surgery. Do not be surprised, or hurt, at reactions ranging from Whatever to Are You Insane?

When it comes time for the surgery, be prepared. Clear your calendar for a couple of weeks. Stock up on soft foods. Have someone stay with you for the first couple of days after the surgery, armed with many packages of frozen peas (for the swelling). People recover from surgery at different speeds, so don't panic if you are recovering "too slowly." Last but not least, you chose Doctor X for this surgery, so trust that he and his staff know what they are doing.

This book is full of comments from regular women who had surgery, for a variety of reasons, along with the author's own cosmetic surgery story. It has many checklists and questionnaires, to help the reader decide if this is such a good idea. It also has a list of questions to ask a cosmetic surgeon. Plastic surgery is not for everyone, but for those who are considering it, this book is very highly recommended. It will help answer any and all questions.