Customer Reviews

Sex & the Married Girl: From Clicking to Climaxing---the Complete Truth About Modern Marriage

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Mandi Norwood is an angry woman. Through the lens of resolute feminism, Norwood presents a venomously skewed scenario of modern marriage and relationships. Blatantly anti-establishment, she balks at traditions such as taking one's husband's name, nurturing and caring for one's family, and taking on the responsibility of creating a healthy home environment. Her tone is perpetually pissed off--a shock to those of us who are happy in our relationships, engagements, or marriages. Perhaps Norwood should have titled her book "The Complete Guide to My Pessimistic Outlook on Modern Marriage."

First off, this book is not about sex, it's about marriage, so don't waste your money if you're looking for sex tips. In any case, Mandi Norwood utterly disapproves of sex advice for women (but more on that later).

The purpose of this book is to teach new-millennium wives how to act like 1950's husbands - only I truly doubt if 1950's husbands were quite as selfish, thoughtless and utterly inconsiderate as this book suggests wives should be.

Offered a job on the other side of the world? Don't discuss it with your husband, just go home and tell him you're taking it regardless of what he thinks. He can either come with you or get lost. Feel like taking a year off to travel the world (using your joint savings to do it?). Don't ask him how he feels about the impact on your finances or how it might affect your future plans. Just give him a list of places you're going. Invite him along, sure, but don't make out you give a damn either way. And let him know that your destinations of choice are non-negotiable. If he has places he wants to go `you can talk about that'. Feel like having an affair? Go for it. Society says this is OK for husbands (apparently - though that's news to me) so it's OK for wives too.

I think when most people get married they have at least some intention of making the other person happy. But to Mandi Norwood this is not only irrelevant but wrong. Redbook magazine had the temerity to publish tips for women on how to be terrific in bed. How dare they! Who cares whether your husband enjoys your sex life? The only important thing is that you do. (Quite a risky position to take when three weeks without sex is portrayed by one of Norwood's friends as grounds for divorce.)

Showing you care for your husband, or showing him any kind of loyalty, is portrayed as hopelessly outdated. If his brother's wife is leaving him, get on the phone and give her advice on how to get the best divorce settlement. And always remember, his mother is the enemy. (Actually all women over 45 are utterly contemptible sell-outs according to Mandi).

The start of the book is full of women expressing their reservations about marriage and why they were reluctant to do it. It's never explained, anywhere, why they did, or why anyone would. The unbearably self-satisfied Norwood (who throughout the book seems to think all women are just like her) says:

"My life plan was pretty much this: junior writer, features editor, global travel, buy own home, become an editor in chief, get married and have kids. I was prepared to take or leave the final two."

I bet her husband was thrilled to read that. But it would be REALLY interesting to know why someone as independently minded as Norwood ultimately decided to get hitched. It's never explained. Why, Ms Norwood, do independent women still get married in this day and age? What's the attraction? Particularly for you and your friends - after all, if you believe all you should care about is yourself, why make a commitment to another person? If it's total self-centred independence you want, why not stay single? That could have made an interesting chapter or two but somehow it just doesn't occur to Norwood to address it.

The book finishes with a discussion of the `death fantasy' where modern married women apparently daydream about what it would be like if their husbands were dead. Sure, they'd be upset, (kind of) but in a lot of ways, it's actually quite a nice thought, isn't it girls? That pretty much sums up the book.

i'm a women in the army and have 2 kids with my husbanded. he lets me do what i went in the point of letting me chase my dreams. and yes i keep my own last name. i like it. but i still keep in mined that my husbanded and kids have feeling to. so when i read this book it pissed me off. if this book is about married girl of today. why dos it sounded like a women that need to get a divorce and anger mangment class. i think if u want to be anger at the world and are ready to leave your husband then this book is for u.

I'm getting married next year, and I've read alot of books related to marriage and planning weddings, and this was the worst waste of them all. The author spends the whole book ranting about what 'our' mothers did wrong and how modern women should all be bit- I mean witches like her. She never talks about finding what's right for yourself, you either worship Norwood, or you belong in your mothers generation and are doomed to pain misery. In Norwood's world their seems to be no possibility of compromise, it's his way or hers. She blames the disruption of the '50s family on 'his way' and praises 'her way' as the path to success. Total self-centered spoiled princess BS. This woman is an conceited idiot, and this book is a waste of time and money.

...if you want her marriage to end in bitter divorce. This book emphasizes "me" over "we" at every turn. It completley omits the idea that a woman might want to put her job on hiatus while her children are young. In fact, it suggests getting a nanny so you don't have to deal with them at all. To summerize, love your children, but aviod a real relationship with them. Same goes for the rest of your family. You can't go to your mother for advice. She either, "lost her identity to that of 'the little wife'" or "swallowed the Superwoman ideal and collapsed under the pressure..." (p. 10) Your husband is an inferior life form, according to this book. He must be domesticated with negative reinforcement. The book suggests standing in the middle of the room and yelling until you get what you want. Extra points for swearing. Otherwise, you will be taken for granted. Effective, but not well thought out. Then there's the section on how affairs can help your marriage. If you're a conservative Christian, you wont like the chapter about why you need to sleep around to help decide who you should marry. It seems everthing Cosmo and Redbook says about nice ways to show your man what you want in bed is just a waste of time to this woman. It's more efficient to find one who already knows.

This book is all about life with a roomate you happen to have sex with, not a marriage. I gave it two stars because there were a few things I agreed with, such as not giving your husband ultimatums and it is important not to lose yourself in your marriage (or job, or anything else in life) but I'm glad I borrowed it from the library. I'd be very disappionted if I had spent the money.

I would suggest this book to someone who doesn't like her husband and wants him to spend all his time in the bar. He will need to be very, very drunk to be willing to come home to you. (...)

I did not disagree with many of the author's assertions that marriage in the past has not been a picnic for women. I believe that historically wives have been given the shaft, and that a cultural shift in this regard is a positive thing. But her solutions to these issues were utterly laughable to me. Marriage is a partnership where both husband and wife should work hard to please, sacrifice when needed, cheer each other on, and aid each other in their individual and mutual goals-- and above all, love unconditionally. Amazingly, the ideas of the author seemed incredibly outdated-- like a throw-back to 1990s' feminism. (And I should know! I have a minor in Women's Studies from the 90s.) Hey, I'm all for feminism, but I do not believe in the notion of elevating one gender over the other. Haven't we moved beyond that initial knee-jerk reaction and realized that equality and mutual respect is the better, more mature response? I don't think we need to create the same kind of environment for men in marriage that women of generations past had to endure. Two wrongs do not make a right. We need a fresh, new model for marriage in which both participants are actively engaged in making the relationship work-- not some "to hell with you!" model that is as old as the hills and never did anyone any good. I do not give this author the permission to represent me and my ideas as a modern married woman!

Finally, a book that tells the truth about modern marriage. The interviews are insightful and honest, the advice sound and funny, and the author's own words encouraging and supportive. It's like having an open, honest conversation with your best friends, no holes barred, and no judgments made. Mandi Norwood's book reaffirms that our marriages are different from our mothers', and that we're not alone in the issued we deal with or the feelings we have. I'm going to give this to every new bride!

Written in a funky style and a mischievous tone, this book reads more like a conspiratorial chat with your closest girlfriends.

Norwood interviews scores of women who are making matrimony work for them and promotes modern marriage as fun and sexy - a place where a strong, sassy woman can find a happy home. Balancing a passion for both intimacy and independence, she explores every nook and cranny of the institution from sex to finances - and how to manage a controlling mother-in-law - with flair and frankness that endures to the end.