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Sex, Mom, and God: How the Bible's Strange Take on Sex Led to Crazy Politics--and How I Learned to Love Women (and Jesus) Anyway [Hardcover]

Frank Schaeffer
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 31, 2011
“A penetrating analysis of political extremism, with a moving and at times hilarious account of growing up in one of the Christian right’s most influential families. Few writers command Frank Schaeffer’s intimate understanding of right-wing radicalism, and even fewer are able to share their insight as entertainingly and with as much moral weight as he has in Sex, Mom, and God.”—Max Blumenthal, author of Republican Gomorrah
 
“Mom was a much nicer person than her God. There are many biblical regulations about everything from beard-trimming to menstruating. Mom worked diligently to recast her personal-hygiene-obsessed God in the best light.”
 
Alternating between laugh-out-loud scenes from his childhood and acidic ruminations on the present state of an America he and his famous fundamentalist parents helped create, bestselling author Frank Schaeffer asks what the Glenn Becks and the Rush Limbaughs and the paranoid fantasies of the “right-wing echo chamber” are really all about.
 
Here’s a hint: sex.
 
The unforgettable central character in Sex, Mom, and God is the author’s far-from-prudish evangelical mother, Edith, who sweetly but bizarrely provides startling juxtapositions of the religious and the sensual thoughout Schaeffer’s childhood. She was, says Frank Schaeffer, “the greatest illustration of the Divine beauty of Paradox I’ve encountered … a fundamentalist living a double life as a lover of beauty who broke all her own judgmental rules in favor of creativity.”
 

Charlotte Gordon, the award-winning author of Mistress Bradstreet, calls Sex, Mom, and God “a tour de force . . . Sarah Palin, ‘The Family,’ Anne Hutchinson, adultery, abortion, homophobia, Uganda, Ronald Reagan, B. B. King, Billy Graham, Hugh Hefner—it’s all here. This is the kind of book I did not want to end.”


Frequently Bought Together

Sex, Mom, and God: How the Bible's Strange Take on Sex Led to Crazy Politics--and How I Learned to Love Women (and Jesus) Anyway + Crazy for God: How I Grew Up as One of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, and Lived to Take All (or Almost All) of It Back + Patience With God: Faith for People Who Don't Like Religion (or Atheism)
Price for all three: $41.88

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Review

Kirkus Reviews, 5/15/11
“The book shines in sections centered on Edith, a ‘life-embracing free spirit’…A consummate memoirist, Schaeffer fills the narrative with interesting anecdotes…The sage conversation on a New York-bound bus with a distraught Asian girl is warmly resonant and a befitting conclusion to…[a] book of ruminations, memories and frustrated opinion.”

Booklist, 5/15/11
“[A] startlingly honest work, which is part memoir and part religious history…Intriguing fare.”
 
Church of England Newspaper, 5/13/11
“Part memoir, part exploration of evangelical views.”
 
PoliticusUSA.com, 5/16/11
“A work that alternates from heartwarming to thought provoking to laugh out loud funny…Schaeffer brilliantly guides the reader through an exploration of the Bible’s strange, intolerant, and sometimes frightening attitudes about sex, and how these Biblical teachings, through the evangelical grassroots of the Republican Party, have come to dominate the GOP stance…Schaeffer’s writing style combines intelligence, warmth, humor, depth and insight…Sex, Mom, and God is hands down one of the best non-fiction books of the year.”
 
Kirkus Reviews (website), 6/1/11
“The memoir, the third and last in Schaeffer’s God trilogy, unfolds in lucid anecdotal excursions probing the chinks that later became gaping holes in the fundamentalist walls that penned him in.”
 
Internet Review of Books, 6/8/11
“A fond and sometimes hilarious look back at [Schaeffer’s] mother’s child-rearing methods and the effect they had on him…Schaeffer’s journey demonstrates that the world could be a better place if we were all able to reassess our beliefs and values—to examine them closely and glean only those worth saving.”
 
Library Journal, 6/15/11
“Well worth reading, highly entertaining, and very informative about the recent history of American evangelicalism. It will appeal to readers interested in the world today, memoir, or religion.”
 
Huffington Post, 6/13/11
“Intelligent and easy to read; it transitions smoothly back and forth between story-telling and point-making prose…In his portrayal of Edith Schaeffer, Frank is able to call out the nuttiness of the religious right and to humanize conservative and Evangelical Christians in the same narrative. It is the deft work of a talented writer practicing his craft…It is a bit of wisdom our entire nation—hell, the whole world—needs to hear.”
 
RH Reality Check, 6/16/11
“Part memoir, part revelation about Evangelical pathology, and part prescription for theological sanity, the book has much to recommend it.”
 
Patheos.com, 6/16/11
“Offers an insider's glimpse into how fundamentalism became the dominant voice in the U.S. political area.”
 
InfoDad.com, 6/16/11
“Frequently entertaining.”
 
The Humanist, July/August 2011
“[Schaeffer’s] stories aren’t just interesting, they’re also well told…[He] serves up an intriguing combination that’s part sexual memoir and part exposé of religious right extremism. It’s a strange combination to be sure, but in the hands of a gifted wordsmith like Schaeffer it works.”
 
State of Formation, 6/20/11
“Part memoir, part theology, and part political commentary…An ambitious undertaking. But Sex, Mom, and God did not disappoint. Alternating between laugh-out-loud episodes and poignant reflections, Schaeffer recounts with candor the influence his mother had on both his beliefs and the beliefs of a generation of Evangelicals…His readers—believers and non-believers alike—will be challenged to reconsider their views about politics, sex, and religion.”
 
The Daily Beast, 6/24/11
“Intriguing…[Schaeffer’s] privileged view of the Christian right’s sexual weirdness makes his account particularly interesting, and helps explain why the aggressively pious so frequently destroy themselves with sex scandals.”

Milwaukee Shepherd-Express, 7/7/11
“[Schaeffer] has grown into rueful middle age with his sense of sarcasm sharpened… Sex, Mom and God dips into the same well as Crazy for God and draws irony and venom from its depths.”

WomanAroundTown.com, 6/16/11
“By turns biting, funny, and thought provoking.”

Washington
Post, 7/10/11
“[Schaeffer’s] memoirs have a way of winning a reader’s friendship…Schaeffer is a good memoirist, smart and often laugh-out-loud funny…Frank seems to have been born irreverent, but his memoirs have a serious purpose, and that is to expose the insanity and the corruption of what has become a powerful and frightening force in American politics…Frank has been straightforward and entertaining in his campaign to right the political wrongs he regrets committing in the 1970s and ’80s…As someone who has made redemption his work, he has, in fact, shown amazing grace.”
 
Roanoke Times, 7/10/11
“A thought-provoking analysis of the social and religious struggles that continue to define American consciousness…Schaeffer covers a lot of important territory in his book…He provides an insider’s view on the ways America has become fragmented, polarized by various forms of extremism.”
 
In These Times, August 2011
“An unusual mix—part memoir, part exegesis on Bible-based belief systems, and part prescription for a more compassionate, human-centered politics for both religious and theologically skeptical people. Humor, at times of the laugh-out-loud variety, is abundant. And while readers will likely bristle at some of Schaeffer’s conclusions, his wit, sass and insights make Sex, Mom, & God a valuable and entertaining look at U.S. fundamentalism.”
 
San Francisco Book Review, 7/20/11
“This memoir/diatribe on organized religion is so shockingly bold and intimately revealing that it will spin your head around whiplash-quick, and cause you to double check to make sure you read the words correctly…Schaeffer comes to a jarring conclusion for fundamentalists, Roman Catholics, Jews, and Muslims alike, that if we don’t set aside our dogma and start making a serious effort at getting along, we will end up destroying ourselves and everything we thought we believed in.”
 
Reference and Research Book News, August 2011
“Provid[es] a new, less prudish view of radical Christianity.”
 
New York Times, 8/20/11
“To millions of evangelical Christians, the Schaeffer name is royal, and Frank is the reluctant, wayward, traitorous prince.”

World
, 8/27/11
“Schaeffer can be witty and ironic and, like the stopped clock that is accurate twice a day, some of his observations hit their mark.”
 
Bitch, October 2011
“Braids the rise of the religious right with Schaeffer’s development as an evangelist and antiabortion activist…Recommended for history, religion, or political buffs who enjoy a dash of tender reflection.”

Maclean’s
magazine
, 9/21 issue
“Former evangelist Frank Schaeffer may have quit the business and turned his back on what he now calls ‘our dreadful, vengeful little God,’ but the man clearly still has a knack for sermon titles. And Sex, Mom, and God is nothing if not a righteous, furious, cringe-inducing and surprisingly nuanced sermon delivered in book form against Schaeffer’s heavenly demons…Schaeffer’s contention that most, if not all, of organized religion’s shortcomings stem from hang-ups over sex is nothing new. What’s compelling about Sex is Schaeffer himself, who bashes away at what he held dear for so long.”
 
Santa Fe New Mexican, 11/25/11
“[Schaeffer is] unafraid to tell it like it is.”
 
Metapsychology Online Reviews, 2/11/12
“Amusing and eyebrow-raising anecdotes…The reader is treated to a compelling and affectionate portrayal of [Scgaeffer’s] complex and conflicted mother…For a reader unfamiliar with the kind of Christianity Schaeffer describes, the book provides a helpful picture into the good and bad of living as a fundamentalist Evangelical…A first-hand account of one evangelical's unusual childhood and the life of a recovering fundamentalist.”

Politics & Patriotism (blog), 4/10

“An eye-opening exposé of American Right-wing socio-political history.”
 
The NervousBreakdown.com, 5/20/12
“Schaeffer paints a beautiful portrait of his mother…And while he may have a lot to say against the institutions of fundamentalist religion, he offers the reader an equally powerful alternative view of faith ...

About the Author

Frank Schaeffer is the author of the New York Times bestseller Keeping Faith and the memoir Crazy for God. His novels, including Portofino, have been translated into nine languages. He and his wife, Genie, live in Massachusetts and have three children.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press; 1St Edition edition (May 31, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0306819287
  • ISBN-13: 978-0306819285
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.2 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #519,851 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

New York Times best selling author of more than a dozen books Frank Schaeffer is a survivor of both polio and an evangelical/fundamentalist childhood, an acclaimed writer who overcame severe dyslexia, a home-schooled and self-taught documentary movie director, a feature film director and producer of four low budget Hollywood features Frank has described as "pretty terrible," and a best selling author of both fiction and nonfiction. Frank's three semi-biographical novels about growing up in a fundamentalist mission: "Portofino," "Zermatt" and "Saving Grandma" have a worldwide following and have been translated into nine languages. Jane Smiley writing in the Washington Post (7/10/11) says this of Frank's memoirs "Crazy For God" and "Sex, Mom and God": "[Schaeffer's] memoirs have a way of winning a reader's friendship...Schaeffer is a good memoirist, smart and often laugh-out-loud funny...Frank seems to have been born irreverent, but his memoirs have a serious purpose, and that is to expose the insanity and the corruption of what has become a powerful and frightening force in American politics... Frank has been straightforward and entertaining in his campaign to right the political wrongs he regrets committing in the 1970s and '80s...As someone who has made redemption his work, he has, in fact, shown amazing grace."


Customer Reviews

Frank Schaeffer has become my favorite author. Nancy S. Vance  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
I find Frank to be fresh, funny, honesty, and incredibly helpful. Randal L. Buist  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
57 of 65 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for Evangelicals June 13, 2011
Format:Hardcover
I wish more Evangelicals were open to reading Frank Schaeffer's latest books, because they provide us with such a clear understanding of recent church history, and what happened to the influence we assumed we would have in the present time.

I wonder if the titles throw people off, but I'd encourage you to get beyond them, buy the books and read them! Do NOT FEAR Frank Schaeffer, you will gain so much!

Frank's books are emotional, so much so, that to read this one seems a bit like riding a motorcycle through a tropical storm: I sense breathtaking fury and unresolved anger over his participation in some "pet Evangelical projects" of the past. There is a sense of betrayal that many of us share; we thought we were so RIGHT, and remain in various stages of depression and despair as we discover how foolish we looked to the outside world, and to God.

The book is edgy, if anything coming close to disclosing too much about his sexual past, but Frank can never be accused of keeping his controversial thoughts to himself! I think he comes down pretty harshly on sex in the Bible, stressing the Old Testament laws, but it's his book, and his opinion.

Isolating a sentence here and there, you might wonder if he believes in God at all, but then in the next sentence you have no doubt; but Frank's books are not intended to reassure us of his relationship to God.

My favorite parts, and women of all ages will find these their favorites too, are the glimpses into Frank's mother, Edith's personal life. I adored the woman I found in the pages of "Sex, Mom, and God: How the Bible's Strange Take on Sex Led to Crazy Politics--and How I Learned to Love Women (and Jesus) Anyway".
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33 of 37 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Anger and Extremes February 18, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
After reading Frank Schaeffer's Crazy for God a few years ago, I felt like I needed a shower. I felt this way less because of Frank's relentless skewering of his very flawed parents than because I found the dark pit of Schaeffer's own undiluted bitterness and rage to be somehow...well...tarnishing. Frank Schaeffer, despite his protestations to the contrary, is a very, very angry man. I told him that in an email after I read the last book. He responded by saying, among other things, that he was getting tired of the accusation. No doubt he is, but Sex, Mom, & God is not going to help him break free of the charge (nor are his frankly bizarre, weird, fear-mongering news show rants that can be viewed easily on YouTube).

Now, does Schaeffer have a right to be angry? You bet he does. If his own hyperbolic excesses would stop throwing roadblocks up, I personally would feel even more sympathy for him than I already do. Frank did get a raw deal and he grew up in an unbelievably strange situation.

Frank is the only son of the late Francis and the still-living-but-very-elderly Edith Schaeffer. Francis Schaeffer was an Evangelical superstar in the 70′s and 80′s in particular and, to some extent, still is today. As I mention in the open letter linked above, his writings had and still have a profound impact on my own life, though for various reasons (Frank's work included) I have cooled in my affection for Francis' writings (and some of his later writings I've rejected almost in toto).

Frank indeed grew up in a strange world. Growing up the son of hardline Presbyterian missionaries in a missionary chalet and spiritual-seeker-haven in Switzerland would have to have been a very unique experience (though it must be added that many, many people count their visits and time at L'Abri as seminal moments in their own Christian journeys...and I do wish I had been old enough to visit as well). As Francis and Edith grew more popular, Frank was left alone for long periods of time as his parents went on their speaking tours. He witnessed a double-life in his parents as well that scarred him deeply. Francis had a terrible temper and would hit and throw objects at Edith. Edith, on her part, would defend Francis, oddly tell her young son about his father's demand for sexual relations every night and would speak patronizingly of Francis' shortcomings and weaknesses to her children.

Frank himself became part of the family business, the heir-apparent as it were, producing the well-known film series, How Should We Then Live? and Whatever Happened to the Human Race? The latter film and book helped establish the Schaeffer's at the forefront of the pro-life movement and played a pivotal role in calling Evangelicals into the pro-life and, more generally, into the political fray. (I wrote a thesis paper in seminary on Francis Schaeffer's role in the pro-life movement and the role of Whatever Happened to the Human Race? I was surprised and mildly amused to see my paper cited in a footnote in Colin Duriez's biography of Francis Schaeffer some years back.) In this way, Frank (then called Franky) Schaeffer can indeed be credited with playing a part in the rise of the so-called Religious Right. His own star rose in the 80′s as he became a kind of angry prophet for conservative Protestants in North America. Frank wrote bestselling books (he is a prolific writer by any account), hit the speaking circuit and saw his own fame and financial situation grow impressively.

By Frank's account, though, he was a living a lie. He knew that he was profiting from a platform in which he was quickly losing trust. He detested some of the creepier fringes of fundamentalist Protestantism and would soon break all ties to the movement he helped create. He would eventually convert to Greek Orthodoxy (and write his fascinating but shrill defense of this act, Dancing Alone) and, even later, to political liberalism and to the anger-and-disillusionment-driven pseudo-Christian agnosticism which he seems to espouse today.

Along the way, Frank has created a niche market of literary parent lambasting. He has vented his spleen against his parents, his upbringing and fundamentalism in general in the fictional Calvin Becker trilogy Portofino (an hysterical novel, by the way!), Zermatt, and Saving Grandma, and now in a non-fiction trilogy consisting of Crazy for God, Patience with God, and Sex, Mom, & God. I suspect I am not the only Evangelical who has been impacted by Francis Schaeffer's life and writing who yet feels a strange mixture of fascination, disgust, sympathy, understanding, anger, and eye-rolling at these works.

There is a long venerable tradition of sons writing against their fathers, but Frank's work seems to go beyond even this. He has what appears to be an almost unfettered pathological needto...tell...everybody...everything. I can only imagine that getting paid to...tell...everybody...everythingdoesn't hurt his penchant for self-disclosure. And, of course, people like myself are to blame for buying and reading the stuff. That being said - dare I say it? - I really do think I've now heard enough.

In Sex, Mom, & God, Frank Schaeffer has given us a full-scale polemic against his past and an often laughable defense of his current positions. My goodness, I don't know that I have ever read such a staggering collection of ad hominems, non sequitors, category errors, irrationality, truly bad hermeneutics, even worse exegesis, stupefyingly bad theology, guilt-by-association, character assasination and flat-bad thinking in my life.

Yes, yes, Frank does score many points here and there and they are not unimportant. Yes, large swathes of fundamentalist Christians have foisted a kind of weird, guilt-ridden approach to sex on their children marked by a constant harping on the dangers of sexual sin, the creation of the impression that sex itself isinherently sinful, a disproportionate fixation on sexual sin as opposed to more accepted sins, and the lack of a healthy, biblically-informed and balanced understanding of sex. And, yes, as Frank acknowledges, the lack of a healthy and honest approach to sexuality has scarred many young conservative Christians who were unable to be open about that through which they were going or that with which they are dealing. Only a person with his or her head in the sand would deny that there is a strange subterranean reality of sexual dysfunction in many Christians of certain ilks because of the heaping portions of shame they had shoveled upon them in this area of their lives growing up. It is no wonder that young boys who can't speak openly of their struggles internalize that whole area of their lives and end up, in many cases, going into some weird corners of the modern, sexual, anarchic landscape.

I know few Christians who would deny the problem here, but this is not the problem as Frank sees it. Frank sees the Bible itself as the problem and the sexual ethic of scripture as the problem. Of course, when you see the sexual ethic of scripture as Frank defines it, it is indeed terrible. But he defines it thus only by some amazing hermeneutical gymnastics that frankly left me aghast.

I resoundly reject the notion that the Bible and the God of the Bible (as Schaeffer puts it) has a weird notion of sex. Indeed, the sexual problems of some fundamentalist Christians are not the result of the application of the biblical principles but rather of the perversion of them. The Bible's sexual ethic of monogamy, marriage between a man and a woman and its strictures against fornication and adultery are healthy, God-given, and good common sense. When I survey the modern tragedy of sexual ethics today, it seems to me that only a hack with an agenda and a penchant for the open fields of sexual anarchy would hate the good, healthy and protecting biblical boundaries that keep us from degenerating into mere animals.

Is there some sexual weirdness in the fundamentalist sub-culture? To be sure. But the greatest things are always open to the greatest perversions, and the perversion of a good thing does not make the good thing less good, it only makes the perversion of it that much more wicked. If Frank Schaeffer wants to see sexual weirdness, sexual wounding and sexual confusion, let him spend another few years in the anything-goes fields of body-anarchy and sheer license that he now calls home (not that he himself practices these things, I hasten to add, but these are the hallmarks of the modernity he has now embraced and is now seeking to resuscitate).

Frank's handling of the Bible in this book is breathtakingly and almost unbelievably bad. He seems to posses virtually no understanding of the relationships of the Old and New Testaments, of the reality of Jesus as the hermeneutical key to scripture, of the difference between descriptive passages and prescriptive passages (good grief he does not get this at all!) and of the idea of progressive revelation. He repeatedly, ad nauseum, refers to the Bible as a collection of "Bronze Age myths." He depicts the God of the Bible as a misogynistic, perverse, woman-hating, sex-obsessed, murderous tyrant. In this regard, Schaeffer makes Richard Dawkins (a man whose writings he professes not to respect) sound like Mister Rogers.

I don't know what it is, but Frank Schaeffer never a met a shrill denunciation he couldn't amp up, a hyperbole he couldn't stretch even further, or a non sequitor (a particular flaw of his that he traffics in on almost every page) he couldn't embrace and trumpet. He is a master craftsman of barely comprehensible blasts of unhinged vitriole and palsied jeremiads.

Again, among the drivel there are moments that almost (but not quite) make the whole painful ordeal of reading him worthwhile. Read more ›
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66 of 80 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Blessing in the Shadow May 25, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Our thoughts are tethered to our feelings: this is a key message of Frank Schaeffer's SEX, MOM, & GOD.

Schaeffer describes his unusually explicit and early sex education, his unusually creative and energetic mother, and his conflicted relationship with the God of the (very literally interpreted) Bible. He shows how all of this generated feelings that led to the extreme Christian fundamentalist stance of his young adulthood during which he worked diligently (and angrily) to convert the United States to a Bible-believing nation, as well as to his later embrace of a God of Mystery, his growing comfort with not knowing the exact nature of Ultimate Reality, and his own life of creativity.

As always, Frank Schaeffer's gifts both as a storyteller and as an essayist provide a wonderful read. Schaeffer's stories are charming, outrageous, and often hilarious. Two of them particularly come to mind: having sex with an ice sculpture, and bathing under the supervision of a kind-hearted babysitter who was obsessed with the Queen of England.

The essay-type parts of Schaeffer's book are fascinating. As a former extreme right-wing Christian fundamentalist, Schaeffer understands that mindset from the inside. From his own experience, Schaeffer knows that the intellectual gloss of fundamentalist thought is undergirded by strong emotions and psychological needs. Schaeffer excels at making these thought/feeling connections clear and vivid. Having read SEX, MOM, & GOD, I now have a far better understanding of why it is so very difficult for fundamentalists to recognize the paradoxes of life and the possibility that there may be other equally valid ways to truth besides their own, of why the second generation of Christian fundamentalist preachers like Franklin Graham tend to become more extreme and strident than their fathers, and of why the pro-life and pro-choice factions have become so terribly polarized on the issue of abortion.

But here is the best thing about SEX, MOM, & GOD: Schaeffer shows the blessing in the shadow. This is a gentler book than Schaeffer's CRAZY FOR GOD, where Schaeffer, an inveterate truth-teller, reveals the shadow side of his Christian fundamentalist upbringing. In CRAZY FOR GOD, we learn that Schaeffer's highly revered parents, Francis and Edith Schaeffer, had some serious weaknesses that were kept hidden so as not to tarnish their Christian ministry. CRAZY FOR GOD shows the shadow side of Francis and Edith Schaeffer and their ministry.

Now in SEX, MOM, & GOD, we see much more of the blessing in the shadow. Schaeffer presents us with some of the stories about Edith Schaeffer from CRAZY FOR GOD, but in a very different light. Edith Schaeffer's courage, love, and creativity now shine, even in the midst of what seem to be her failings. A case in point is Edith Schaeffer's almost love affair with a sensitive young artist: it is fascinating to compare the way Schaeffer tells this story in CRAZY FOR GOD with the way he tells it in SEX, MOM, & GOD. In the former instance, we see Edith Schaeffer's failing; in the latter, her courage and love for her family.

Schaeffer's love for his mother shines through in SEX, MOM, & GOD. Schaeffer attributes his own creative life to what he learned from his mother. "I simply chose to follow the `other' Edith Schaeffer, the one whose heart was elsewhere than in the lifeless theories she paid lip-service to," Schaeffer says on page 91. Thank God you did, Frank Schaeffer! Thank God!
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