Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving [Paperback]

Betty Dodson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 12, 1996

For more than 20 years, Betty Dodson has been dedicated to taking the shame out of masturbation, showing it to be a healthy form of sexual expression. With warmth and intelligence, and informative line drawings, Dodson explains how anyone can learn to fully enjoy the pleasures of self-love, pointing out that masturbation is still the safest sex.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

For more than 20 years, Betty Dodson has been dedicated to taking the shame out of masturbation, showing it to be a healthy form of sexual expression. With warmth and intelligence, and informative line drawings, Dodson explains how anyone can learn to fully enjoy the pleasures of self-love, pointing out that masturbation is still the safest sex.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press (March 12, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0517886073
• ISBN-13: 978-0517886076
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.1 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #85,510 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

53 of 54 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars For "frigid" girls who have considered celibacy ..., June 27, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (Paperback)

... when coupling wasn't enough.

Although I'd purchased this book a year ago, I didn't get around to reading it until a friend loaned me Dodson's "Selfloving" video about her group workshops with women. Dodson was such an effective speaker that I dug out the book just to get more of the inside story.

Those who call this a partial autobiography and a "why to" more than "how to" book are quite right -- for "how to," I'd suggest her video. However, like with other forms of sex, there can be a difference between getting off from masturbating and actually feeling like a worthwhile person during and afterwards. To my mind, that's what this book is about.

Some of Dodson's ideas are indeed still controversial: she suggests non-monogomy, to the point of extra-marital affairs, as potential help for sexual problems; she suggests that people talk to each other, even to their parents, about masturbation; the medically researched link between masturbation and meditation/creativity was news to me.

I don't think the era we live in will determine whether this book is still necessary -- I think it'll be whether anyone still reacts to it with wonder and relief.

35 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars It's more like a "Why to ...", January 14, 2000

By 

cdp (Kansas) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (Paperback)

Sex for one is a bit deceiving from its title. It's not exactly a "how to masturbate", but more like a "why to" which in my opinion is the bigger of the two problems for women. It opens your mind to its possibilities. Now it does give some advice on the physical level, however it focuses more on feeling better about yourself and getting to know who you are through masturbation. I really recommend this book to anyone who has doubt about masturbation or who needs to know that they're normal! If you're debating on whether or not to buy - BUY IT! You won't regret it!

97 of 110 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars eye-opening and empowering, March 6, 2004

By 

Jon Norris (Oregon, USA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (Paperback)

Sex for One is the latest version of a book that Betty originally self-published as "Liberating Masturbation," in the early 1970s. I own all three revisions of this book, and treasure them all. This is a very important book to read if you seek to understand your sexuality.

I discovered it in the early 1980s, and was deeply moved by Betty's honesty and open attitude about sex. As a young man coming of age in the turbulent 60s, I was listening to feminists to try and understand what women wanted and where I fit in with that. Betty is a sex-positive feminist, and her rational, non-judgemental approach to sexuality really helped me come to terms with my own sexual energy. It was so refreshing to hear a woman talk so openly about her wants, needs and desires, and to see that women were indeed sexual creatures, too. Nowadays, we have Susie Bright, Carol Queen, Annie Sprinkle and many others who are sex-positive women speaking out, but Betty was an early and vital groundbreaker for this kind of material. She struck such a strong resonance with me that I wrote to her and we have been penpals ever since. I am therefore a bit biased, being a friend and fan of hers.

The book tells of her experiences with her own sexuality and the workshops she led for women to discover orgasm for themselves and open exchanges with other women. It has some of her own beautiful artwork of couples and single people, including drawings of female genitalia (some of which demonstrate the origins of the Valentine Heart), to illustrate the material she discusses in the text. It is very tastefully done, and educational for those who are not familiar with the bodies and behaviors of others. It is not an extensive encyclopedia of human sexuality, but rather a guidebook for learning about your own sexuality and becoming okay with how you express that. It is geared primarily for women, but men can benefit from it as well.

Masturbation is a very touchy subject (pun intended), and one that causes a great deal of anguish. (Just ask Jocelyn Elders. The woman should have gotten a medal, not been fired.) My view is this: sex can be seen to be much like food - it is a primary survival drive, and if we do not express that energy openly, it will leak out in other, negative behaviors, such as violence. Whether we eat alone or with others, we need to eat, and sex is the same. Masturbation is like eating alone. Not every meal is supposed to be a banquet with others. We need to eat to survive, and to practice our table manners for when we do dine with others. Masturbation is also a sexual act we can share with partners to help open up our understanding of each other, the wide range of sexual expression, and the true power and beauty of our sexual energy. It also has a place in the practice of other religious and spiritual systems not represented by the mainstream. The tendency to focus on heterosexual genital intercourse as the only "proper" sex people are supposed to practice greatly distorts the true nature of our sexual energy, and deprives us of our spiritual birthright.

Sexual energy is a vital part of our spiritual and physical makeup, and too often we are unfortunately burdened by religious oppression which seeks to distort and control our personal sexual energy. The reasons why religions seek to suppress sexual expression have much to do with property and the historical campaign of the Aryan-derived, violent, monotheistic, patriarchal religions to destroy all the tribal, matriarchal and matrilineal nature-based religions. Incredible violence and bloodshed has happened over the last 3000 years because of this. Liberating one's sexual energy is a primary key to any real spiritual liberation, and heavily structured organizations like religions hate people who are spiritually liberated - they are difficult, if not impossible, to manipulate. There is a great book by Merlin Stone, "When God Was a Woman," that deals very well with the whole subject of how our present religions came to be what they are. The truth will shock and anger you. The real story is quite different than we have been led to believe.

Learning to understand and control one's own sexual energy is a vital part of being a free person, which is the whole purpose of our country and its ideals. This book can be one step on the road to a greater understanding of one's sexual nature, and a respect for that of others. I recommend it for all those who seek such understanding. There are also many good books and websites on Sacred Sex, Tantra, Taoist sex practices, and Western Sex Magick that will take one further along the road to understanding the connection between sex and spirit.

There is far more to sex than you have been told.