For more than 20 years, Betty Dodson has been dedicated to taking the shame out of masturbation, showing it to be a healthy form of sexual expression. With warmth and intelligence, and informative line drawings, Dodson explains how anyone can learn to fully enjoy the pleasures of self-love, pointing out that masturbation is still the safest sex.
Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
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For more than 20 years, Betty Dodson has been dedicated to taking the shame out of masturbation, showing it to be a healthy form of sexual expression. With warmth and intelligence, and informative line drawings, Dodson explains how anyone can learn to fully enjoy the pleasures of self-love, pointing out that masturbation is still the safest sex.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
58 of 59 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
... when coupling wasn't enough.
Although I'd purchased this book a year ago, I didn't get around to reading it until a friend loaned me Dodson's "Selfloving" video about her group workshops with women. Dodson was such an effective speaker that I dug out the book just to get more of the inside story.
Those who call this a partial autobiography and a "why to" more than "how to" book are quite right -- for "how to," I'd suggest her video. However, like with other forms of sex, there can be a difference between getting off from masturbating and actually feeling like a worthwhile person during and afterwards. To my mind, that's what this book is about.
Some of Dodson's ideas are indeed still controversial: she suggests non-monogomy, to the point of extra-marital affairs, as potential help for sexual problems; she suggests that people talk to each other, even to their parents, about masturbation; the medically researched link between masturbation and meditation/creativity was news to me.
I don't think the era we live in will determine whether this book is still necessary -- I think it'll be whether anyone still reacts to it with wonder and relief.
37 of 38 people found the following review helpful
By cdp
Format:Paperback
Sex for one is a bit deceiving from its title. It's not exactly a "how to masturbate", but more like a "why to" which in my opinion is the bigger of the two problems for women. It opens your mind to its possibilities. Now it does give some advice on the physical level, however it focuses more on feeling better about yourself and getting to know who you are through masturbation. I really recommend this book to anyone who has doubt about masturbation or who needs to know that they're normal! If you're debating on whether or not to buy - BUY IT! You won't regret it!
109 of 122 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Sex for One is the latest version of a book that Betty originally self-published as "Liberating Masturbation," in the early 1970s. I own all three revisions of this book, and treasure them all. This is a very important book to read if you seek to understand your sexuality.
I discovered it in the early 1980s, and was deeply moved by Betty's honesty and open attitude about sex. As a young man coming of age in the turbulent 60s, I was listening to feminists to try and understand what women wanted and where I fit in with that. Betty is a sex-positive feminist, and her rational, non-judgemental approach to sexuality really helped me come to terms with my own sexual energy. It was so refreshing to hear a woman talk so openly about her wants, needs and desires, and to see that women were indeed sexual creatures, too. Nowadays, we have Susie Bright, Carol Queen, Annie Sprinkle and many others who are sex-positive women speaking out, but Betty was an early and vital groundbreaker for this kind of material. She struck such a strong resonance with me that I wrote to her and we have been penpals ever since. I am therefore a bit biased, being a friend and fan of hers.
The book tells of her experiences with her own sexuality and the workshops she led for women to discover orgasm for themselves and open exchanges with other women. It has some of her own beautiful artwork of couples and single people, including drawings of female genitalia (some of which demonstrate the origins of the Valentine Heart), to illustrate the material she discusses in the text. It is very tastefully done, and educational for those who are not familiar with the bodies and behaviors of others. It is not an extensive encyclopedia of human sexuality, but rather a guidebook for learning about your own sexuality and becoming okay with how you express that. It is geared primarily for women, but men can benefit from it as well.
Masturbation is a very touchy subject (pun intended), and one that causes a great deal of anguish. (Just ask Jocelyn Elders. The woman should have gotten a medal, not been fired.) My view is this: sex can be seen to be much like food - it is a primary survival drive, and if we do not express that energy openly, it will leak out in other, negative behaviors, such as violence. Whether we eat alone or with others, we need to eat, and sex is the same. Masturbation is like eating alone. Not every meal is supposed to be a banquet with others. We need to eat to survive, and to practice our table manners for when we do dine with others. Masturbation is also a sexual act we can share with partners to help open up our understanding of each other, the wide range of sexual expression, and the true power and beauty of our sexual energy. It also has a place in the practice of other religious and spiritual systems not represented by the mainstream. The tendency to focus on heterosexual genital intercourse as the only "proper" sex people are supposed to practice greatly distorts the true nature of our sexual energy, and deprives us of our spiritual birthright.
Sexual energy is a vital part of our spiritual and physical makeup, and too often we are unfortunately burdened by religious oppression which seeks to distort and control our personal sexual energy. The reasons why religions seek to suppress sexual expression have much to do with property and the historical campaign of the Aryan-derived, violent, monotheistic, patriarchal religions to destroy all the tribal, matriarchal and matrilineal nature-based religions. Incredible violence and bloodshed has happened over the last 3000 years because of this. Liberating one's sexual energy is a primary key to any real spiritual liberation, and heavily structured organizations like religions hate people who are spiritually liberated - they are difficult, if not impossible, to manipulate. There is a great book by Merlin Stone, "When God Was a Woman," that deals very well with the whole subject of how our present religions came to be what they are. The truth will shock and anger you. The real story is quite different than we have been led to believe.
Learning to understand and control one's own sexual energy is a vital part of being a free person, which is the whole purpose of our country and its ideals. This book can be one step on the road to a greater understanding of one's sexual nature, and a respect for that of others. I recommend it for all those who seek such understanding. There are also many good books and websites on Sacred Sex, Tantra, Taoist sex practices, and Western Sex Magick that will take one further along the road to understanding the connection between sex and spirit.
There is far more to sex than you have been told.
I discovered it in the early 1980s, and was deeply moved by Betty's honesty and open attitude about sex. As a young man coming of age in the turbulent 60s, I was listening to feminists to try and understand what women wanted and where I fit in with that. Betty is a sex-positive feminist, and her rational, non-judgemental approach to sexuality really helped me come to terms with my own sexual energy. It was so refreshing to hear a woman talk so openly about her wants, needs and desires, and to see that women were indeed sexual creatures, too. Nowadays, we have Susie Bright, Carol Queen, Annie Sprinkle and many others who are sex-positive women speaking out, but Betty was an early and vital groundbreaker for this kind of material. She struck such a strong resonance with me that I wrote to her and we have been penpals ever since. I am therefore a bit biased, being a friend and fan of hers.
The book tells of her experiences with her own sexuality and the workshops she led for women to discover orgasm for themselves and open exchanges with other women. It has some of her own beautiful artwork of couples and single people, including drawings of female genitalia (some of which demonstrate the origins of the Valentine Heart), to illustrate the material she discusses in the text. It is very tastefully done, and educational for those who are not familiar with the bodies and behaviors of others. It is not an extensive encyclopedia of human sexuality, but rather a guidebook for learning about your own sexuality and becoming okay with how you express that. It is geared primarily for women, but men can benefit from it as well.
Masturbation is a very touchy subject (pun intended), and one that causes a great deal of anguish. (Just ask Jocelyn Elders. The woman should have gotten a medal, not been fired.) My view is this: sex can be seen to be much like food - it is a primary survival drive, and if we do not express that energy openly, it will leak out in other, negative behaviors, such as violence. Whether we eat alone or with others, we need to eat, and sex is the same. Masturbation is like eating alone. Not every meal is supposed to be a banquet with others. We need to eat to survive, and to practice our table manners for when we do dine with others. Masturbation is also a sexual act we can share with partners to help open up our understanding of each other, the wide range of sexual expression, and the true power and beauty of our sexual energy. It also has a place in the practice of other religious and spiritual systems not represented by the mainstream. The tendency to focus on heterosexual genital intercourse as the only "proper" sex people are supposed to practice greatly distorts the true nature of our sexual energy, and deprives us of our spiritual birthright.
Sexual energy is a vital part of our spiritual and physical makeup, and too often we are unfortunately burdened by religious oppression which seeks to distort and control our personal sexual energy. The reasons why religions seek to suppress sexual expression have much to do with property and the historical campaign of the Aryan-derived, violent, monotheistic, patriarchal religions to destroy all the tribal, matriarchal and matrilineal nature-based religions. Incredible violence and bloodshed has happened over the last 3000 years because of this. Liberating one's sexual energy is a primary key to any real spiritual liberation, and heavily structured organizations like religions hate people who are spiritually liberated - they are difficult, if not impossible, to manipulate. There is a great book by Merlin Stone, "When God Was a Woman," that deals very well with the whole subject of how our present religions came to be what they are. The truth will shock and anger you. The real story is quite different than we have been led to believe.
Learning to understand and control one's own sexual energy is a vital part of being a free person, which is the whole purpose of our country and its ideals. This book can be one step on the road to a greater understanding of one's sexual nature, and a respect for that of others. I recommend it for all those who seek such understanding. There are also many good books and websites on Sacred Sex, Tantra, Taoist sex practices, and Western Sex Magick that will take one further along the road to understanding the connection between sex and spirit.
There is far more to sex than you have been told.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Simple, Elegant
This book was first given to me as a gift in my early twenties. It completely rearranged my love for female anatomy including my own. Thank you Ms. Dodson. You rock.
Published 1 month ago by Tiffany Coleman
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book will break you out of your shell
This book is certainly a must-read for established feminists as well as women who want to read a book that will convince them to be far less shy about their sexualities. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Monika G
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful
I found this book to be very helpful in helping me with my issues about masturbation. It gave me ideas and permission to like my body and to provide pleasure for myself.
Published 2 months ago by Kathy
5.0 out of 5 stars
An excellent sex classic, reprinted numerous times
Sex for One, the Joy of Self loving, has been around in various printings since the late 60s. The first time I saw it was after I became one of the first male members of the... Read more
Published 2 months ago by RAUL DASILVA
5.0 out of 5 stars
Inspiring
This book has opened my eyes and made me look at thing in a whole different light. A must for all women to read
Published 3 months ago by B16
4.0 out of 5 stars
Thanks Betty!
Having also read Romantic Love Wars, some of the stories in both books are repeated. but I think the perspective and message of this book comes thru with a clear voice. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Anne
5.0 out of 5 stars
Liberation
This book is amazing! I would recommend for anyone to read. Betty really is inspiring and knows what she is talking about. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Zel
5.0 out of 5 stars
Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
Very interesting reading, subject alot of ideas to improve your love making with your love one as well as yourself. Read more
Published 7 months ago by GARY LOVE
5.0 out of 5 stars
Love Yourself First
Informative, enlightening, not at all disappointing! Before you can love another,
you must love yourself first, and this book is a terrific guide. Highly recommended.
you must love yourself first, and this book is a terrific guide. Highly recommended.
Published 8 months ago by M. Zoratti
5.0 out of 5 stars
I secretly read this book when I was 11 years old, and it really...
I am a 33 year old American woman who read this book when I was 11 years old. I saw it on my friends moms bookshelf and asked to borrow it, and I'm glad I did. Read more
Published 12 months ago by territ88
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