Sex, Sin, and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between [Paperback]

Brad Warner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 31, 2010

With his one-of-a kind blend of autobiography, pop culture, and plainspoken Buddhism, Brad Warner explores an A-to-Z of sexual topics — from masturbation to dating, gender identity to pornography. In addition to approaching sexuality from a Buddhist perspective, he looks at Buddhism — emptiness, compassion, karma — from a sexual vantage. Throughout, he stares down the tough questions: Can prostitution be a right livelihood? Can a good spiritual master also be really, really bad? And ultimately, what's love got to do with any of it? While no puritan when it comes to non-vanilla sexuality, Warner offers a conscious approach to sexual ethics and intimacy — real-world wisdom for our times.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

There's not exactly a large shelf of books on this subject, so leave it to the iconoclastic ex-punk-rocker Zen teacher Warner (Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate) to plunge in, double entendres in footnotes and all. The subject is as fundamental as the human sex drive, which does not go away as one spends time on the cushion. Since most Buddhists are laypeople (yes, the author intends that pun), Warner offers practice- and experience-based analysis and reflection over a wide range of sex-related topics and flavors, from vanilla (traditional hetero) to kink. A mind-opening interview with Zen-influenced porn star Nina Hartley is included, as is discussion of a difficult topic in Buddhism: student-teacher sexual involvement. Warner is as usual at his best in confessional-analytic mode; he's been romantically involved with a student and written a Buddhist column for a sex-positive Web site. A few chapters seem dry or even unnecessary: a chapter on Amma, for example, is unwarranted. Some women readers will object to the inescapability of the male viewpoint, though the author is aware of his biases. Kudos to Warner for tackling the subject.
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About the Author

A Soto Zen priest, Brad Warner is a punk bassist, filmmaker, Japanese-monster-movie marketer, and popular blogger. He is the author of Hardcore Zen, Sit Down & Shut Up, and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate. His writing appears on Suicidegirls.com and in Shambhala Sun, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and Alternative Press.

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: New World Library; Original edition (August 31, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1577319109
• ISBN-13: 978-1577319108
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #319,892 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Hmm, September 27, 2010

By 

----- - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sex, Sin, and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between (Paperback)

I have never read a book by Brad Warner before, but I had heard good things about this one and picked it up. I wish the person who recommended it to me had thought to describe the contents and style of this book a little more in-depth, because this disappointed me quite a bit.

There are a lot of interesting things to be said about Buddhism's relationship with sex and sexuality (and the way different cultures handle these things, as well). I think the author was doing a great job at first, but he lost me with his bit on polyamory, fairly early on into the book. He admits that he doesn't have much experience with polyamorous folks and it shows. I personally do not care at all for evolutionary psychology, so I was put off by the many remarks about how people evolved and how society evolved, coupled with the implication that people only try to make a polyamorous relationship work because they want to be "cool". I feel like some research into this subject would have made that chapter much less condescending.

As another reviewer says, there are also many footnotes that are, well, like listening to preteen boys giggle over an issue of Playboy. I understand that the author may have done this to "break the ice" or make the reader loosen up a bit, since sex is such a difficult subject for so many people, but for me this approach was a flop. His double entendres and constant use of slang words for genitals were kind of grating, too. Would it really hurt to, just once, refer to a penis as a penis and a vagina as a vagina? I don't think so. I understand what he was trying to accomplish with the humor but I really wish he would have backed off on it after a chapter or two.

There are plenty of good thoughts and ideas you can take away from this book, but I really had to go searching for them. I wish more Buddhist authors would tackle the subject of sex, and I hope that the next time someone does take up this task, they manage to do it a little more maturely.

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Warner hits the mark again, October 3, 2010

By 

Precious Metal: the blog (Cape Cod) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sex, Sin, and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between (Paperback)

Sex, Sin and Zen answers the question that everyone has been asking Brad for a long time, how can sex and Buddhism come to some sort of reconciliation? As a guest writer for Suicide Girls many questioned his choice to join their writing team. And I think we should have, because if anyone had the answer, it was Brad.

We know of all the vows we take, and accept in our lives, but as Brad explains, never do any of them say do not have sex. Brad breaks this misconception down, simplifies in the easiest of ways. It's not the act of sex, but how we act about sex. Like any other attachment, it is our grasping at sex that can cause us, and others, damage.

What I really loved about this book is Brad's brazen explanation of mindfulness:

"I'm not sure what most people in the West these days mean when they say "mindfulness." Near as I can tell, the general population uses the word to mean something like "thinking really hard about stuff." Or at best it's sometimes a synonym for paying attention to what you're doing. But if that what you mean, why not just say "pay attention"?

Another high point is his points about sex being one of the most immersive acts we partake in. And what he says makes perfect sense, minus a few people out there, when one is engaged in sexual activity, are we thinking about anything else really? No, we are just being there, having sex. Of course there are emotions within that, but for the most part, sex is just sex. Sex is not what we were doing at work, the plans we have later, or anything else, it's sex.

He makes the case, from my understanding, that if we could harness that ability to pay attention to one thing, the goals we are hoping to achieve may be that much easier. Who doesn't want to be able to pay attention all the time, to be mindful of every moment, as it is? I know that's part of it for me. Because yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come, right now is it!

His interview with the original "porno Buddhist" Nina Hartley is funny and engaging. They match wits, and humor, enlightening us to not take this whole thing so seriously all the time. I'm not sure I'm 100% in agreement with everything he's got to say, but it's great to have someone break things down in a way that is readable, and at times, laughable.

That only things that bugs me sometimes, is the over the top swearing and almost mocking tone. Other than that minor detail, this book was necessary, completely necessary. Sex and Buddhism does not have to be taboo, it just needs to be understood in a context that is healthy and helpful.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Smart, funny, and HELPFUL advice by the Punk Zen Master, August 30, 2010

By 

Martin Z. - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Sex, Sin, and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between (Paperback)

A big fan of Brad Warner's other three books, I was a bit skeptical about this one. I worried that it might have too much sex and too little of Brad's take on Zen Buddhism. I was wrong. There is a great mix of sexual specific content and Zen, as well as how one trying to live a better life through zazen practice might approach sex. For me, the book's main focus was how to deal with doing and thinking 'bad' things. Since this is a book about Zen Buddhism, the answers (well, maybe suggestions) all touch on how to use zazen practice and Zen precepts to manage the normal crazy experiences and choices that life brings.

For those how haven't read a Brad Warner book, article, or blog, his writing style is crisp. For someone writing about philosophy, this should be commended. The book is peppered with anecdotes from his life as well as from the cast of characters he has encountered in his times as a Zen student and Zen teacher. He is almost always self-deprecating about himself, even though he has accomplished a great deal and has an international position as a Soto Zen Buddhist monk.

He also makes a point to cover Zen basics in his usual accesible way. Thus, if you've never read a book about Zen Buddhism there is lots of great information here. That said, if, like me, you've read books on the subject before, Brad Warner's explanations of Zen concepts are fresh, funny, and insightful and I finished the book with a better understanding of Zen Buddhism than I started.

Finally, to reference the title of my review, the book has been helpful in that I have already applied some of the things I read in the book and avoided a situation that looking back would have been trouble!