Customer Reviews

Sex Tips from a Dominatrix

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The author takes a light-hearted and "campy" approach to introducing SM to your partner. Written primarily from a Fem Domme point of view, the book has some interesting information. It also has some cute illustrations at the start of each chapter and some witty section titles.

There is good information on shaving, how to clean your leather clothes, a great list of movies with "SM-type scenes" in them, and chapters on knot-tying and "SM yoga" type exercises. There's also good advice for getting "toys" past airport security.

However, there were a few sections I was uncomfortable with. For example, advising the cleaning of toys with vodka? Huh? Anti-bacterial soap or rubbing alcohol works just as well for sterilizing toys. Also, ripping up hotel bedsheets to use as bondage ties? I would imagine a hotel manager might bill you for those ripped-up sheets.

I also was a bit uncomfortable with the chapter on gags. While she does mention safety precautions to a certain extent, I would never gag anyone with tape to hold a gag in place. There's too much possibility of things going wrong IMHO.

This book has good and not so good information. Hence the three star rating.

I collect "how-to" books about BDSM, especially those which address female tops or slave training. This book was a Valentine's Day gift and I'll treasure it for that -- I just was not impressed with the book. There is nothing particularly wrong with the information (except for using pantyhose or ties for bondage -- don't do that) and there is nothing new here. The presentation with what I guess was an attempt at humor, only made the book seem like one a very vanilla person might put out to "shock" friends. It won't "hurt" you partner or you to read this, but please make sure you get another "how-to" book to double check the information; better yet, contact a nearby BDSM organization and learn about safety first hand. Some of you by like the black and white drawings of the book.

This is excellent for beginners, curious about the evermore visible world of SM. By putting a softer edge on the subject, Ms Payne removes much of the stigma attached to SM, making it more palatable for a mainstream audience. If Cosmo or Mademoiselle were to write a serious book about SM, this is what I would exzpect to be the result. Ms Payne, a self described "Avid SM Hobbyist" is not a professional dominatrix, she is however the Martha Stewart of SM.

Seasoned veterans of the SM scene however will find little in this book that they didn't already know. Most basic SM texts are far more advanced than Ms Paynes offering. If you've been around the dungeon for a couple of years, the best use you'll find for this book is as a gift to your curious vanilla friends.

My Congrats to Mistress Payne for the style and grace in this book. The pages are filled with information, how to's and the sections on knots come only from someone who truly understands this art of love making.

The light hearted aspects of the writing blend into an excellent form, giving us all an easy to read manual on some of the basics as well as the advanced aspects of bdsm. She makes being a Domme an artform and shares some of her best ideas.

The imagination and insight is extradoridinary and this book is a must for anyone who knows the joys of bdsm or for those who are seeking it for the first time. Beginner, novice or skilled Domme will find this book a pleasure to read and learn a thing or two from the talented, clever way this lady has found to mix mirth and knowledge together into one book.

Well Done, Mistress Payne!

While this book may provide little of interest for the advanced or even intermediate devotee of BDSM, it will more than satisfy the idly curious, like me. The first three chapters (approx. 60 pages) I found intriguing and interesting. And, if you're like me and get a laugh at bad puns, you'll enjoy Mistress Payne's sense of humor. Apparently, this domme not only enjoys inflicting physical torture on her subs but also gets a thrill out of inflicting intellectual torment on her readers with horrendous puns. But, at the end of the day, you could get as much enjoyment and useful information out of a magazine article on the subject as Mistress Payne's entire book.

Unfortunately, from Chapter 4 on, the book bogs down in details. Mistress Payne, for example, devotes a lengthy chapter to knots. If you're truly interested in knots, then check out your Boy Scout handbook. The descriptions and illustrations are a lot clearer. Mistress Payne also spends a whole chapter on yoga as good exercise for BDSM. While it is amusing to see figures in yoga positions decked out in fetish regalia complete with arcane BDSM devices, yoga is better treated in other books devoted exclusively to that rich subject.

If you think BDSM is for you, then getting through this book will be a good test. If you find all 200 pages of Mistress Payne's lightweight how-to book fascinating, you'll probably fit right into the BDSM scene. If you're idly curious, like me, her book will certainly demystify the subject. But one side effect of demystification is to render an intriguing subject mundane and, therefore, sadly, boring.

Of course, there is something satisfying in imagining a formidable domme - fresh from making her sub grovel in agony and humiliation at her feet - turning around and fussing over potential punctures in her black latex catsuit and meticulously dusting it with talcum powder before hanging it up to wait for the next encounter. I guess it isn't only accountants who have to attend to boring details. Even powerful, sexy dommes do!

I've been involved in the scene for a long time now off and on, and of all the books I've read on the subject, this one was the one I'd most likely leave on the coffee table. It's not too "serious" and is perfect to gauge that perfect man's reaction. It's amusing enough that it won't scare him away, but real enough that it will give him some food for kinky thought. I loved this book so much that I loaned it to a relative who had curiosities about the scene (as well as a problem man). She loved it so much, she never returned it! LOL I'm waiting for my new one to arrive. Check this out.

I liked this book. The author is witty (sometimes catty) but keeps it interesting. I even fell for her little quiz. It has some great how-tos in it, some personal advice from her own experiences, and some important safety tips too. I would have given this work four stars if it were longer. I'd love to see this author come out with a sequel to this work. She covers all the necessary points of what a dominatrix does/tries to do. She even teaches how to tie different knots. So ladies dont worry about forgetting what you learned in the Girl Scouts! She covers it here for you.

Mistress Payne has brought to bdsm what Martha and Miss Manners brought to entertaining. This book provides us a guide to the art of domination in an light hearted manner. There are tips on all types of aspects, including etiquette, makeup, traveling as well as very good details on knots, bondage and the pure joy of bdsm.

A must read for the experienced Domme as well as the novice.

This book reads like your talking to one of your girlfriends about her adventures. Sometimes steamy, often funny view of bdsm. Great for beginner to intermediate, take this advice with a grain of salt and your tongue firmly planted in cheek.

Congratulations to Mistress Payne on a Classy & Tasteful depiction of the world of D&s. Your insight and understanding has been well displayed to introduce new minds and bodies to pleasures and satisfactions about which they previously may not have dared to dream. You have opened the mental door through which many may/will now choose to walk with the associated social stigmatism so caringly removed. Very nice work.