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They do this in the face of overwhelming odds. From earliest childhood boys are taught that the way to become men is to repress all evidence of the female principle. They learn to despise any sign of femininity in themselves or in their peers. The male/female identity that is their birthright is perverted by parents who were also raised to be incomplete beings. Fathers set behavioral standards for their sons, and because women have surrendered their autonomy, they defer to their husband's judgement. The mother agrees not to commit the cardinal sin of "feminizing" her son, or "emasculating" him by demanding the same loving kindness and nonviolence she expects from her daughters. The same women who at great cost to themselves nurture their children--who love and protect them as they journey from infancy to adulthood--allow their sons to be conditioned to violence. They allow them to be carefully taught to become the kind of men in whom compassion and concern have been diminished to the point that they will not interfere with the requirements of a machismo society. And then they teach their daughters that these defeminized, incomplete human beings, represent the true nature of the male.
Women do this because they, too, are incomplete. They must also regain a male/female balance--they must become more like men. They have to overcome the temptation to be dependent, instead of autonomous beings. Women must learn to act in accord with the dictates of their own conscience and not submit to the judgement of their mates. They have to take responsibility for what goes on in the world outside the home as well as being accountable for family life. But the pressures that keep women from manifesting the male strengths of action and overcoming are just as strong as those that try to keep men from manifesting the female strengths of compassion and kindness.