By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy, and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault, and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Milne paints a brutally honest and at times amusing picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta, to present-day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candor and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.
Sexography: One Woman's Journey from Ignorance to Bliss
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Carly Milne began her professional writing career at age 14 and hasn't looked back since. Her work has appeared in Glamour, Variety, AOL, Stuff, Maxim, Shop, Bitch Magazine and more. She has also been interviewed by Entertainment Weekly, Cosmopolitan, MSNBC, Marie Claire, Sex TV, Wired and E!, among many others. Milne has also had essays published in Virgin Territory (Three Rivers Press), Best American Sex Essays 2005 (Cleis Press) and Hooking Up: You'll Never Make Love In This Town Again Again (Phoenix Books), and curated the anthology Naked Ambition (Carroll & Graf). She lives in Los Angeles.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I found Carly Milne's powerful memoir almost impossible to put down. It is profoundly moving, at times humorous and often heartbreaking, but just as the author comes to feel gratitude for the strength she's gained from her life's challenges, the reader too will feel thankful for the courage and honesty of this book. Even if you haven't personally experienced sexual abuse, every woman (and man) will recognize the issues raised here--the struggle to move from sexual object to sexual agent, to find nourishing intimacy with others, and to love and respect ourselves and in a society that is often hostile to these goals. Milne reminds us that when we write thoughtfully about sex, we're also writing about all of the deep, dark, scary and beautiful reasons we do it. Popular magazines these days are full of broken promises to reveal the secrets of sex to readers hungry for the truth--Sexography actually delivers some genuine answers. Highly recommended.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Carly's book left a strong and lasting impression on me. I found it to be a journey that every woman should travel, as I felt myself grow in strength and resolve as she does, overcoming the odds to find her voice--and one with an amazingly discerning eye and superior sense of humor.
It's an inch, by inch description of how one young girl, then woman searched and earned her own sense of self, and self esteem. There are no short cuts or platitudes that can erase an abusive past--the secret to healing really lies in hard work and perseverance. Struggling to create your own anchor, (one's sense of self, and a grid of values of your own making) is a universal, coming-of-age-and-beyond struggle. What makes this book so intriguing is that the subject matter, a "Sexography" throws in sharp relief many of the issues women face, from wanting and needing a man who is not good for them, to how to fathom and take advantage of the great experience sex can be. But basically, this book is about LIFE, how to make peace with the one you've got, and embrace all the possibilities it has to offer in the midst of sacrifice, pain and disappointments...this should be required reading for every young woman.
It's an inch, by inch description of how one young girl, then woman searched and earned her own sense of self, and self esteem. There are no short cuts or platitudes that can erase an abusive past--the secret to healing really lies in hard work and perseverance. Struggling to create your own anchor, (one's sense of self, and a grid of values of your own making) is a universal, coming-of-age-and-beyond struggle. What makes this book so intriguing is that the subject matter, a "Sexography" throws in sharp relief many of the issues women face, from wanting and needing a man who is not good for them, to how to fathom and take advantage of the great experience sex can be. But basically, this book is about LIFE, how to make peace with the one you've got, and embrace all the possibilities it has to offer in the midst of sacrifice, pain and disappointments...this should be required reading for every young woman.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By jozjozjoz
Format:Hardcover
With a title like SEXOGRAPHY and a cover image so enticing, if one is to judge this book by its cover, one might guess that this book is filled with lurid, shocking, and downright naughty stories about sex, sex, sex!
And while there are some very naughty stories indeed, notice line underneath the title of the book: One Woman's Journey from Ignorance to Bliss!
This is not just a book about sex; it's an honest account of Carly's sexual journey through her first three decades of life... the good, the bad, and the ugly... set in the context of how her sexuality affected her life in the larger picture. Instead of a one-sided analysis of her sex life, Carly delves deep into the various aspects of all the emotions, behaviors, life-changing decisions, and other ways that sex gets wrapped in our lives.
I hope that in another 30 years, Carly will consider a follow-up sex memoir book to tell all about her next 3 decades!
And while there are some very naughty stories indeed, notice line underneath the title of the book: One Woman's Journey from Ignorance to Bliss!
This is not just a book about sex; it's an honest account of Carly's sexual journey through her first three decades of life... the good, the bad, and the ugly... set in the context of how her sexuality affected her life in the larger picture. Instead of a one-sided analysis of her sex life, Carly delves deep into the various aspects of all the emotions, behaviors, life-changing decisions, and other ways that sex gets wrapped in our lives.
I hope that in another 30 years, Carly will consider a follow-up sex memoir book to tell all about her next 3 decades!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
Misleading title but gut wrenching memoir
This is not a book about sexuality, rather it is a memoir about how abuse misconstrued and fragmented a girls sexuality, leading her to be both promiscuous and celibate, contract... Read more
Published on April 23, 2011 by Betsie Temple
5.0 out of 5 stars
"Sexography" is a winner on many levels...
I have enjoyed Carly Milne's writing since her days blogging, through "Naked Ambition" and now including her honest, heartbreaking, insightful, cathartic and also funny "Sexology". Read more
Published on September 21, 2008 by B. McVickar
5.0 out of 5 stars
Brave Book
When I picked up my copy of Sexography, the store clerk said to me that she had read it and had met the author, and was "proud of her"... Read more
Published on July 4, 2008 by Lauren E. Bacon
5.0 out of 5 stars
Honest and, at times, heartbreaking
Carly Milne has penned an unflinching portrait of molestation by her father, an honest look at dealing with herpes and surviving sexual assault, homelessness and alcoholism all... Read more
Published on May 14, 2008 by Kristin Baver
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hey Guys! This book is for you too...
Sexography by Carly Milne was a book I read every spare moment I had. I get it now! The mind of an abused woman is something I and many others never understood. Read more
Published on April 19, 2008 by Michael Lewis
5.0 out of 5 stars
Picking at scabs.
Roald Dahl once spent a full page and a half describing a boy picking a scab. Such detail can be, as in Dahl's case, breathtakingly boring. Read more
Published on April 17, 2008 by Crickett
4.0 out of 5 stars
This One's For The Girls
Carly Milne leaves no stone unturned in her journey of self-discovery. From crushes and late nights with the girls to long-term relationships and everything in between, Milne's... Read more
Published on April 7, 2008 by H. Nelson
5.0 out of 5 stars
Powerful.
An important read for women, especially those who have survived abuse. Carly writes with candour, depth and incredible emotion, and it's impossible to get through this book without... Read more
Published on April 2, 2008 by Sharolyn Wiebe
4.0 out of 5 stars
Great book--a must read for all women
A great read for all women. While perfectly capturing growing up in the 80s, Carly's story of pain, escape, growth and redemption is a strong clear voice in today's literary scene. Read more
Published on April 1, 2008 by K. Bergevin
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book -- even more amazing woman!
I just (literally, within the last hour) finished reading Sexography, and already I know it's one of those books I'll be talking about with friends months from now. Read more
Published on March 30, 2008 by S. Heikkinen
