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on July 10, 1998
I picked up this book and from the first random page i opened and flipped to, i almost immediately felt a connection with this book. It goes through every imaginable situation, types of abuse, and how each one (even if not first-hand abuse, but seeing it or hearing it ..... she takes into account ALL the different abuses) affects us all in different ways. How to tell that there's a sexual problem, how to define it, how to accept it, how to talk about it to partners/friends/family if at all possible, how to identify the sexual IMPACT and how it's affected us. Then it works into reclaiming that self-worth, gaining control over automatic responses, healing wth an intimate partner, and techniques for relearning touch and to BE touched. It talks about the impact that abuse has on our views of the word Sex and what it means to Survivors. It helps you change your image of the word, and to re-learn (or learn for the first time) what it really means. You learn how to accept the past, and that you were once robbed of the real meaning of touch and love. I almost want to underline each line in the book because it defines us (my husband and I, and what we're facing) sooooo well. And it goes step by step on how to accept it all the way to learning how to touch. It's very gently written, but with a strong emphasis on learning what abuse has done to your view of sex, and what impact is has on your intimate life. It has really helped my husband understand what is going on with me, and it has brought us closer together.
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on March 22, 2000
What I particularly appreciate about this book is its inclusive approach to the subject. While many books speak to heterosexual women who were victims of incest over a long period, this book speaks directly to people of all genders, sexual orientations, and the entire spectrum of sexual abuse experiences.
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on August 8, 2001
I've been on a healing journey from childhood sexual abuse for many years. I've read all the "standard" books and worked with a number of therapists. NONE of the books and NONE of the therapists has helped me heal in the area of sexual intimacy to the extent that this book has helped me. It's the first book I've read that REALLY addresses this problem, and it offers step by step suggestions to finding a healing path. I also found it very comforting to read words of encouragement from others AND THEIR PARTNERS with similar histories and problems who have made amazing progress. Until I read their stories, I never REALLY understood that my feelings and dysfunction were "normal", under the circumstances. My partner and I are so grateful Wendy Maltz for having written this book.
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on August 9, 2001
I bought this book, which is titled The Sexual Healing Journey, when I started healing from being abused in my childhood. When I first read this thorough book I felt able to relate to many of the topics. The topics included discussion on different types of sexual abuse, problems actual survivors developed as a result of abuse, positive assertion of the topic sexuality.
While reading the book, The Sexual Healing Journey, the author occasionally talked about her experiences of being sexually abused. I respected her ability to recover and turn her trauma into a positive experience, by helping other survivors of abuse in her councelling practice.
The author, Wendy Maltz, talked about these topics gently, I felt safe reading The sexual Healing Journey because of the books gentle tone. When I read a book, The Courage To Heal, I noticed the tone was rough. This rough tone was one reason I returned the book the next day.
I have referred to the book The Sexual Healing Journey many times after the first time I read this book.
I really found the book helpful in my recovery
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on December 20, 1999
This is the first place I recognized my bizarre behavior as not being unique. In reading the first few chapters, I was massively relieved to find that other people had experienced the same strange feelings and behavior I had all of my life. Although difficult to read and I found resistance to doing to the exercises, this book is helpful and honest, I highly recommend it for anyone who has had frustration with overcoming sexual fright.
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on April 18, 2013
I would recommend this book to anyone who has been sexually assaulted, molested or other sexual trauma. I have not been able to date a man for the past 20 years due to my past trauma. When I ran into an old friend, we wanted to start dating. The fact that I new him made me feel safer. He recommended seeing a sex therapist who deals with past traumas that keep you moving forward and trusting again. She recommended this book for me and my boyfriend. I did not read the parts where people talk about their past experiences, but those stories were great for my boyfriend to understand what I was going through. THen there is a complete section in the back that helped me to move on with my life, and be able to say "NO" to my boyfriend when I felt sexually pressured.
THis book, as any other couples book, will really benefit you if your boyfriend, lover, new relationship partner reads it also. It is up to date as far as psychology goes, and has allowed me to come out of my shell and start a relationship again!
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on July 12, 2001
After reading several books on child sexual abuse, I finally came across THIS book to help me out with the sexual problems I am facing NOW. I am not a native English speaker (but an Enlgish student) and I find this book very easy to read. It is down-to-earth and inspirational all at the same time. However, I would suggest reading and working through this book can work AGAINST you if you do not have the proper support you need. If you are working through dealing with (child) sexual abuse, I would strongly recommend working through this book with the help of an experienced counselor. I consider myself quite a tough cookie but I can't tackle this subject on my own. But I am 100% satisfied with the information, quotations of fellow-strugglers, and exercises!
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on November 10, 1998
Before I read this book I was wandering around this world wondering why I was such a bad person for allowing all the things that happened to me happen. But after I read this book I realized a very important lesson, I am not bad. I did not deserve what happened. This book is a comprehensive manual for someone to follow who has been through any kind of sexual abuse. It can lead you step-by-step through the healing process giving you guidelines to follow. Understand that just reading the book isn't the cure. You have to take an active role in your own self recovery and once you do this, you will finally be rid of any nightmares that haunt you. This book was THE turning point in my surviving the abuse. Without it, I would still be wandering.
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on December 20, 2012
I thought this book would be a way to step through the healing process, and to also recognize markers/plateaus along the way. There is some of that, BUT this book is primarily focused on getting the reader back into being sexual, although in a healthy way. For those of us who are the start of a healing journey, sexuality is the last thing we may want to explore, and simply dealing with the actions, rage and truth of abuse is primary. At least it is for me. I would say this author should indicate this book is a better one for people who are further along in the path of healing. I would like to possibly reread it in a year or two, not now. It has very similar 'Joy of Sex' type illustrations in the last section that made me just flip through and finish the book, not ready to go there.

Again, for some, this is the right book for where they are in the process. For those of us at the start of rebuilding after acknowledging abuse, it's the wrong book at the wrong time.
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on July 27, 2002
It's hard to find actual exercises for you and your partner like in this book. They work even if you figured out a few on your own, it's nice to know why they work so well. It's also good to hear the male side, I wasn't really sure how many men had been abused before, now I know. It's too bad more of us don't talk about it in the open we talk about everything else!
I did not like the exercise about remembering your sexual identity before the abuse started, for some of us that was when we were just out of diapers. I can't even remember much before age nine let alone what sexual identity I had if any. It's better to work with what you are now. I would have liked more stories with the man and the woman, I guess I can find more in other books but this book is very unusual and a "must read".
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