Sexual Intelligence: The Groundbreaking Study That Shows You How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Gain Greater Sexual Satisfaction [Bargain Price] [Hardcover]

Dr Sheree Conrad (Author), Dr Michael Milburn (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 31, 1901

How sexually intelligent are you? This remarkable, groundbreaking book will help you find out.

Although 75 percent of Americans say that a satisfying sex life is important to them, only 25 percent claim to have achieved one. While most people might think that statement is shocking, it doesn't surprise Dr. Sheree Conrad and Dr. Michael Milburn. Both professors of psychology, Conrad and Milburn have discovered that more than thirty years after the so-called sexual revolution, many of us are as confused as ever about how to achieve sexual satisfaction and struggle with sexual dysfunctions that interfere with a happy, healthy sex life.

The sexual revolution of the 1960s and '70s didn't solve everyone's sexual problems, and our teenagers, raised on images of sex in the media from an early age, are not more sophisticated about sex than their parents. Instead, Americans of all ages suffer in silence, unwilling and unable to confront their deepest sexual insecurities and fears. But no one has to live this way — Conrad and Milburn have come up with a way to measure a profound new concept they call "sexual intelligence." Their research has shown that people who score high in sexual intelligence are more sexually satisfied and have fewer sexual dysfunctions. And the best part is, not only can you measure your own sexual intelligence, you can also identify your weakest areas and use the tools provided in the book to boost your "sex IQ."

Does this sound too good to be true? It's not.

The authors embarked on the Sexual Intelligence Research Project, a comprehensive, rigorous study that analyzed the sexual beliefs and behaviors of sexually "average" people. They administered their Sexual Intelligence Test to the research participants and were astonished by the results.

* A startling number of Americans suffer from chronic sexual dysfunctions, including lack of desire, inability to achieve orgasm, and impotence, that interfere with their sex lives.

* It's not just the middle-aged or couples married twenty years who have sexual problems. In fact, some of the highest rates of sexual dysfunction occur among young people.

* People of all ages, of both genders, consistently say that they do not have anyone to talk to about their sexual concerns and will not talk about sex problems with spouses and partners.

For the first time, Conrad and Milburn are sharing the Sexual Intelligence Test with readers, who can take it, get their scores, and find out what the results mean. Filled with moving, heartfelt stories from the men and women who participated in the study, Sexual Intelligence gives people the power to transform their lives by teaching them the crucial components of sexual intelligence and will revolutionize the way we think about sex today.

How sexually intelligent are you?

1. In your current relationship (or in your last long-term relationship), approximately how often do you (or did you) talk with your partner about your sex life?

a) Once a week.

b) Once a month.

c) Once every six months.

d) Never.

2. How would you rate your current sex life, compared to most other people's sex lives?

a) Not nearly as exciting as most people's.

b) About the same as most people's.

c) More exciting than most people's.

d) I'm not currently in a sexual relationship.

3. Have you ever kept a sexual secret from a partner over a long period of time?

a) No, never.

b) Once or twice.

c) Several times.

d) Frequently.

4. How do you feel about the content of the sexual fantasy you have most often or find most arousing?

a) I'd be horrified if anyone knew the content.

b) I'd be embarrassed if my partner knew the kind of fantasies I have.

c) I might be a little hesitant but also find it exciting to share the content with my sexual partner.

d) I talk to my closest friends about my fantasies.

Take the Sexual Intelligence Test and find out how you can boost your "sex IQ," gain greater sexual satisfaction, rid yourself of sexual problems, and have a healthier and happier sex life!

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

How sexually intelligent are you? This remarkable, groundbreaking book will help you find out.

Although 75 percent of Americans say that a satisfying sex life is important to them, only 25 percent claim to have achieved one. While most people might think that statement is shocking, it doesn't surprise Dr. Sheree Conrad and Dr. Michael Milburn. Both professors of psychology, Conrad and Milburn have discovered that more than thirty years after the so-called sexual revolution, many of us are as confused as ever about how to achieve sexual satisfaction and struggle with sexual dysfunctions that interfere with a happy, healthy sex life.

The sexual revolution of the 1960s and '70s didn't solve everyone's sexual problems, and our teenagers, raised on images of sex in the media from an early age, are not more sophisticated about sex than their parents. Instead, Americans of all ages suffer in silence, unwilling and unable to confront their deepest sexual insecurities and fears. But no one has to live this way ? Conrad and Milburn have come up with a way to measure a profound new concept they call "sexual intelligence." Their research has shown that people who score high in sexual intelligence are more sexually satisfied and have fewer sexual dysfunctions. And the best part is, not only can you measure your own sexual intelligence, you can also identify your weakest areas and use the tools provided in the book to boost your "sex IQ."

Does this sound too good to be true? It's not.

The authors embarked on the Sexual Intelligence Research Project, a comprehensive, rigorous study that analyzed the sexual beliefs and behaviors of sexually "average" people. They administered their Sexual Intelligence Test to the research participants and were astonished by the results.

* A startling number of Americans suffer from chronic sexual dysfunctions, including lack of desire, inability to achieve orgasm, and impotence, that interfere with their sex lives.

* It's not just the middle-aged or couples married twenty years who have sexual problems. In fact, some of the highest rates of sexual dysfunction occur among young people.

* People of all ages, of both genders, consistently say that they do not have anyone to talk to about their sexual concerns and will not talk about sex problems with spouses and partners.

For the first time, Conrad and Milburn are sharing the Sexual Intelligence Test with readers, who can take it, get their scores, and find out what the results mean. Filled with moving, heartfelt stories from the men and women who participated in the study, Sexual Intelligence gives people the power to transform their lives by teaching them the crucial components of sexual intelligence and will revolutionize the way we think about sex today.

How sexually intelligent are you?

1. In your current relationship (or in your last long-term relationship), approximately how often do you (or did you) talk with your partner about your sex life?

a) Once a week.

b) Once a month.

c) Once every six months.

d) Never.

2. How would you rate your current sex life, compared to most other people's sex lives?

a) Not nearly as exciting as most people's.

b) About the same as most people's.

c) More exciting than most people's.

d) I'm not currently in a sexual relationship.

3. Have you ever kept a sexual secret from a partner over a long period of time?

a) No, never.

b) Once or twice.

c) Several times.

d) Frequently.

4. How do you feel about the content of the sexual fantasy you have most often or find most arousing?

a) I'd be horrified if anyone knew the content.

b) I'd be embarrassed if my partner knew the kind of fantasies I have.

c) I might be a little hesitant but also find it exciting to share the content with my sexual partner.

d) I talk to my closest friends about my fantasies.

Take the Sexual Intelligence Test and find out how you can boost your "sex IQ," gain greater sexual satisfaction, rid yourself of sexual problems, and have a healthier and happier sex life! --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Sheree Conrad, Ph.D., is an assistant professor of psychology and Michael Milburn, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology, both at the University of Massachusetts in Boston. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• ISBN-10: 0609606409
• ASIN: B00008S7V1
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.7 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,886,536 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars READ THE BOOK FOR ITS INFO - TURF THE QUIZ!, July 4, 2001

By 

Sandra D. Peters "Seagull Books" (Prince Edward Island, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Sexual Intelligence: The Groundbreaking Study That Shows You How to Boost Your "Sex IQ" and Gain Greater Sexual Satisfaction (Hardcover)

As a counsellor, I have provided counselling services in virtually every aspect of human behaviour, including sexual issues. While this book makes interesting reading, it should be noted that sex is an individual affair. Twice a week may be fulfilling for one couple while once a month may be equally as fulfilling for others. Some want more, others less. Then, there are those who know how to please their partner and go to great lengths to do so, and others who are only concerned with pleasing themselves - period! In that case, the problem has nothing to do with "sexual intelligence" but inconsiderate, self-centredness.

The book failed to point out some relatively important issues. The key in all aspects of a relationship, not just sexual issues, lies not in a quiz or comparison with others but in open communication between the two partners, regardless of what one's sexual lifestyle may be. It is not simply a matter of what takes place in the bedroom that achieves fulfillment, but a matter of what else is going on the rest of the time, outside the bedroom. If a man is constantly being hen-pecked, nagged and mistrusted, he is not likely to be too anxious to please in the bedroom. Likewise, if a woman is playing second fiddle to a golf course, receives no help around the home (particularly if she, too, works outside the home) or she is made to feel like like sex is her "civic duty," do not expect her to warm up when the lights go out either!

As for the quiz, if you take it at all, I would take it with grain of salt. If you score low, you may feel like a failure when in fact you are not - that definitely is not going to boost one's self-esteem in the bedroom, and you may have some very valid reasons for answering the way you did. Some sexual dysfunctions stem from deep-rooted insecurities and abusive past experiences; for those individuals, the best help comes through professional counselling, not in a book. One question in the book, "How would you rate your current sex life compared to most other people's sex lives" is ludicrous. If one is not satisfied with their own sex life, they should be discussing the issue with their partner, not conducting a field survey with their friends, family and neighbours! We are talking sex here, not your favourite brand of herbal tea. If one cannot communicate openly with their partner, the problem goes far deeper than sexual intelligence.

In summary, the book contains insightful and useful information which may prove beneficial to the reader; however, the quiz leaves a lot to be desired. The book contains helpful facts, dispels myths and like anything else in life, any knowledge gained is a plus. Sex, like money, is a personal affair. Readers will need to weigh the pros and cons and make their own personal assessments on the value of the book.

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Helpful Suggestions Marred by Weak Methods and Bad Editing, June 26, 2001

By 

Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 110,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Sexual Intelligence: The Groundbreaking Study That Shows You How to Boost Your "Sex IQ" and Gain Greater Sexual Satisfaction (Hardcover)

Summary: This book aims to help you avoid self-sabotage in your sex life by being better educated about what works and what doesn't. Having a great sex life is all tied up with "what is going on in our minds." Change your beliefs and your sex life will improve as well. The book contains many helpful examples of problems that people have experienced, and has many useful exercises to help you rethink your own ideas. The book's survey methodology produces results that appear to be accurate, but do not reflect an appropriate sample. The book's sexual intelligence quiz seems to have a typo in it that makes accurate scoring of your overall answers impossible. That's okay, because the assumption behind the scoring is flawed as well. Read the book for the anecdotes and exercises and skip the rest.

Review: This book is based on questionnaires answered by about 500 people, most of whom were under 30. Although not based on a scientific sample, the book does provide some unexpected perspectives about young people. Half the women surveyed from 18-29 found sexual relations painful. A third of the men in the same age group had erectile dysfunctions. So there's room to improve. It also sounds like experience helps.

Overall, there's a problem with using questionnaires for anything as delicate as sexual relations. People do not tell it like it is. It's like asking people about their use of illegal drugs during doctor's visits. Few tell the whole story. The only way to get better results is to corroborate the story with a person's sex partners. So, undoubtedly there's a lot of under and over reporting in this, especially from young people.

The book has the same quiz in an appendix, which you can take. I think it would have been more appropriate to suggest that people take it before reading the book. The scoring scheme tells you to add your scores, add another number and then divide by 264. Doing that means that everyone fails the test, even if you put down all of the optimum answers. My guess is that you are supposed to divide by 2.64 or by 2.4, but I cannot tell. Perhaps the proof reading will improve on the second printing of this book (if there is one).

The other problem with the quiz is that the values appear to be fitted to the correlation of sexual satisfaction that went with the original respondents. I found that although I would rate my sexual satisfaction very high, my answers were often at odds with the scoring here. Is the purpose to think like others who have sexual satisfaction . . . or to experience sexual satisfaction? I suspect that the quiz would have worked better for readers if the book had suggested that people experiment with different approaches rather than simply score their answers. Indirectly, that's what the exercises at the end of each chapter are encouraging. I thought those exercises were very well done. They put you into a situation that you may find awkward where different behavior would be beneficial, and encourage you to think about what your response should be. By addressing these issues by yourself, you may feel more comfortable being open about them when they occur for real.

The book's main message is one that most will endorse. Find out more about sex, understand your own desires, listen and respond to the needs of your partner, share your needs, and avoid behavior that will have negative consquences (whether it is not being careful with birth control and sexually-tranmitted disease risk, or not hurting someone physically or emotionally).

The book points out that there is little intergenerational discussion of sex, that many people are not willing to discuss their desires with their partners, and most are even more uncomfortable asking about their partner's needs.

The best sections are on how individual desires are shaped. These materials occur in chapters 6-10. If you agree that there isn't much communication, you can probably skip over the earlier chapters and hit these first. I also thought that the chapters on handling inappropriate sexual attraction and avoiding infidelity were well done.

After you finish discussing this book with your partner and making the appropriate accommodations to each other, I suggest that you take on that other taboo area that needs more discussion in a similar manner -- money. I suspect that for most married or committed couples that expanding communication about money and sex will improve the relationships more than just dealing with one or the other. I also recommend Relationship Rescue and The Relationship Rescue Workbook for those who want to work on relationships in all their dimensions.

Open up to give more . . . and you will be the beneficiary as well!

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating!, June 24, 2001

By 

Scott (New York, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sexual Intelligence: The Groundbreaking Study That Shows You How to Boost Your "Sex IQ" and Gain Greater Sexual Satisfaction (Hardcover)

This book has a lot that distinguishes it from the many books on sex that are available. First, it is a serious scholarly study, not just someone giving their opinions about sex. It has a really nice balance; it's well researched, but does not read like a dry, scientific textbook. On the contrary, the authors combine highly readable stories from their research interviews that are both funny and moving, with up to date research findings from their own project and current research on sex. Theoretically, it also strikes a nice balance, suggesting the problems with sexual repression on one hand and the "anything goes" sexual freedom approach on the other. Their sexual intelligence test is fun to take and revealing. I really enjoyed reading this book. It's helped me to think about sex in a new way.