Sexuality: Your Sons and Daughters with Intellectual Disabilities [Paperback]

Karin Melberg Schwier (Author), David Hingsburger (Author), Dave Hingsburger (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 2000

Parents have a key role in making sure their child develops healthy sexuality, that sense of self and confidence that helps make us all well-adjusted and strong individuals. In this touching and lively book, you'll learn how to interact with your children - no matter their age or ability - in a way that increases self-esteem, encourages appropriate behavior, empowers them to recognize and respond to abuse, and enables them to develop life long relationships. Parents share with you the joys and challenges of raising a child with an intellectual disability as they offer you helpful advice and practical strategies. And you'll hear individuals with intellectual disabilities explain what's important to them. Let authors Karin Melberg Schwier and Dave Hingsburger show you, in this inspiring book, how to accomplish one of the most significant tasks every parent faces - raising a proud and confident son or daughter.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Karin Melberg Schwier, is an author and illustrator whose most noted works are about people with intellectual disabilities. She has received awards for her writing from the Canadian Association for Community Living (CACL), the Council for Exceptional Children, and the National Down Syndrome Congress, among others. Some of her most recent publications include the illustrated children's book Idea Man (Diverse City Press) winner of the Saskatchewan Writer's Guild children's literature award; Couples with Intellectual Disabilities Talk About Living and Loving (Woodbine House, 1994), winner of the CACL award in its first year of release and, in 1995, winner of the Joan Kershaw Publications Award from the Canadian Council for Exceptional Children.

She produces a provincial magazine, Dialect, for the Saskatchewan Association for Community Living, an advocacy organization for people with intellectual disabilities. She is a member of the national editorial board of entourage, a magazine published by the CACL. She is working on her first novel, in which the main character has an intellectual disability.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

What to Teach When

It's been more than 20 years since the World Health Organization called for an understanding of human sexuality within the context of human relationships. People with disabilities often learn how their bodies function sexually much later in life than do their peers without disabilities if, indeed, they are ever taught at all. Some people hold mistaken beliefs about their bodies, and ignorance leads to misinformation and opportunities for sexual abuse (Ludwig & Hingsburger, 1993). People who have accurate information about sexuality are much less likely to be victimized than those who do not (Senn, 1988).

Keeping in mind the fact that every child is different, you may find the following list useful when you're deciding what to teach your child at different ages. Remember to use the list as a general guideline, not as hard and fast rule that means disaster if the time doesn't seem to be right for your child:

The Early Years 3-9

· Differences between boys and girls
· Public and private places, parts of [the] body
· How babies are born

Puberty 9-15

· Menstruation
· Wet dreams
· Other body changes
· Ways to recognize and say no to inappropriate
· sexual touching by others
· How babies are made
· Sexual feelings
· Masturbation

Older Teens 16 and Up

· How relationships grow
· How sexual feelings happen and how they can
· be handled
· Homosexuality
· Difference between love and sex
· Laws and consequences of inappropriate
· sexual touching of others
· How pregnancy can be prevented —
· methods of birth control
· Sexually transmitted diseases
· Responsibilities of marriage, parenting
· (Maksym, 1990a, p. 107)

You can see that teaching someone with an intellectual disability about sexuality goes beyond merely getting her to correctly recite names for body parts or to know how a baby is made. We believe it is important to integrate the physical, emotional, and social aspects of sexuality into what people are taught. People also need to understand attitudes and values and learn practical skills in order to respond in different situations. For example, when learning about her breasts, a young girl needs to know that:

· Breasts have a functional and aesthetic purpose (physical aspect)
· Breasts are private body parts (social aspect)
· Since not everyone is comfortable discussing things, it's important to find someone who is willing to answer questions and concerns (social aspect)
· [There are ways] to refuse unwanted advances if someone tries to touch her breasts (skill)
· That if someone tries to touch her breasts, she may feel bad about this (emotional aspect) (Ludwig & Hingsburger, 1993, pp. 5-6)

This guidebook is designed in a way that will help you, as parents, identify and practice what is important for your family. It can be overwhelming when you try to look at the big picture; from that vantage point, there are always things that you may have overlooked, didn't understand, or didn't even want to think about!

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Brookes Publishing Company; 1 edition (January 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1557664285
• ISBN-13: 978-1557664280
• Product Dimensions: 10 x 7 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #877,231 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars The title is misleading, August 6, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Sexuality: Your Sons and Daughters with Intellectual Disabilities (Paperback)

The title of the book and its description here made me think the book would be relevant to all cognitive disabilities. However, the bulk of the book is about Down syndrome. The anecdotes are about people with Down syndrome and information about reproduction, etc. is specific to Down syndrome. Also, although the anecdotes kind of give you a warm fuzzy feeling, there is not a whole lot of practical information about teaching your child anything related to sexuality, dating, the birds and the bees, etc.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful, practical, funny, March 22, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Sexuality: Your Sons and Daughters with Intellectual Disabilities (Paperback)

This book is a gem. The combined efforts of Melberg Schwier and Hingsburger have produced a lively resource that parents of a son or daughter at any age or with any kind of disability will treasure. It contains not only practical information about sexuality and sexual development, but is humourous and moving. The first-person accounts by parents and by people with disabilities sprinkled throughout the book are a creative way for parents to share ideas, strategies, worries with one another. The stories of people with disabilities give us all some hope for humanity. An excellent effort and a treasure to have.