Sh*t My Dad Says [Hardcover]

Justin Halpern (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 4, 2010

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Photographs from Sh*t My Dad Says
(Click on Thumbnails to Enlarge)

I have no idea why I'm sopping wet in this photo, but I'm going to guess it's because I rolled in something filthy or spilled something on myself. Hosing me down was my dad’s favorite method for cleaning me off.	Here I am with my dad in his garden, which he adores and whose upkeep he takes very seriously. "It's my first love, besides your mother and horse racing. And you and your brothers, too, I suppose," he’s said.	My dad used to carry me on his shoulders quite a bit when I was a child--until the time I accidentally urinated on him while I was up there. We were at a neighbor’s house and he quickly ran outside, threw me off, ripped off his shirt, then hosed me down like he was from the CDC and I'd come in contact with the Ebola Virus.

My dad is an avid reader, and all throughout my childhood he’d come home after working for 12 hours and we’d sit on the couch and read together.	My family’s trip to the Grand Canyon in 1983 was one of only two family vacations we took. It coincided with the time when my dad started to lose his hair, and decided he'd wear hats to mask his increasing baldness. It wasn’t long before he changed his tune, tossed the caps, and decided he didn’t care what anyone else thought.

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Review

Sh*t My Dad Says is f______ great!...Very funny, very irreverent, very real. It’s refreshing at a time when we’re all choking to death on political correctness and can go for days without meeting a single person with common sense.” (Janet Evanovich, Time Magazine )

“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” (Chelsea Handler )

“Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny.” (Maxim )

“A fun gift book that is bound to crack up anyone who flips through it.” (Los Angeles Times )

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like )

“Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” (Kristen Bell )

“Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching—and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book.” (Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club )

“Justin Halpern’s dad is up there with Aristotle and Winston F*cking Churchill. He’s brilliant, and his son’s book is absolutely hilarious.” (A.J. Jacobs, New York Times bestselling author of The Know-It-All )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 176 pages
• Publisher: It Books; First Edition ~1st Printing edition (May 4, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061992704
• ISBN-13: 978-0061992704
• Product Dimensions: 6.9 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (675 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #293 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #13 in Books > Literature & Fiction > United States > Humor
  • #14 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships
  • #34 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor

More About the Author

In the summer of 2009, Justin Halpern created a Twitter account as a way to archive his father's no-holds-barred, expletive-ridden words of wisdom. Within a month, @shitmydadsays became an Internet sensation. More than 2.5 million people currently follow Sam Halpern's musings on Twitter and Facebook alone.

Justin's first book, Sh*t My Dad Says (HarperCollins / ItBooks), a collection of essays about growing up with his unapologetically honest father, is a #1 New York Times bestseller.

Justin is also the creator of $#*! My Dad Says (WarnerBros/CBS), a sitcom starring William Shatner, Nicole Sullivan, Will Sasso, and Jonathan Sadowski. He serves as the show's co-executive producer along with his writing partner Patrick Schumacker.

Justin currently splits his time between Los Angeles and his parents' home in San Diego.