Most helpful critical review
58 of 64 people found the following review helpful
Same As The First Book.......blah, blah, blah. I'm Bored.
on October 25, 2011
Okay. I finished this book a few days ago now and I think I'm ready to write a review. It's not that great. It's weird. I feel myself being drawn to these characters. I like them and I don't mind spending time with them. I just don't think they're in the right hands. They're not being given very interesting stories or even very interesting things to say. I don't understand how an author could come up with such intriguing characters, but then not be able to tell their stories properly. It upsets me. They deserve better than this.
Let's start off with my first complaint. All the men in this book (with the slight exception of Mr. Black) speak exactly the same. Most notably, Mr. Red and Mr. White. Barely anything differentiates these men. Even Blue and Brown sometimes sound the same way. I do understand the subtle differences between them, but they don't have unique enough personalities. I think that's why I'm always rooting for Black when I'm reading. He's the best guy there, so why does Alex feel nothing for him?? Drives me crazy. And IF she's going to feel something for White, why not actually do anything about it????? They should at least talk about their feelings or kiss or something! It's not even sexual tension, the way it's written. Not that it has to be some crazy romance novel, it definitely shouldn't be, but please! Give something! I'm begging you!
JC Phelps needs an editor badly too. I can overlook the occasional typo, really I can. But not like this. First of all, learn the difference between "your" and "you're"; "their", "there" and "they're"; and "its" and "it's". Those mistakes are unforgivable in my reader's mind. I can't take it. Secondly, make sure you know what the words mean that you're choosing to use. Well known phrases are repeatedly misused. Common sayings are just wrong. There's not any other way to explain it. Here's an example: It's not "for all intensive purposes". It's "for all intents and purposes". That type of mistake is made THROUGHOUT the entire series and it has been driving me crazy.
I have to mention the cover art again. I do realize that in this day and time, when the major bookstores are disintegrating before our eyes, covers may not seem like they matter as much anymore. Everything is digital and small thumbnail covers are overlooked. But I personally disagree. No longer do we have the luxury of flipping through a book, skimming the back cover, etc. ALL WE HAVE is the cover! To me, it becomes one of the most important things I look at when deciding to buy a book. Here are some tips. Don't have a solid color background with no differentiation at all. It's boring. Don't EVER EVER EVER use the same font for the title of the book as for the author's name! NEVER! Do something more interesting than just generic silhouettes that you found in your computer's clip art folder. And even if that's not where you got the images from, take my point --- it LOOKS like that's where you got them from so wherever you really did get them from is irrelevant. You really, really need the help of a graphic designer. And if you can't afford a graphic designer, then go to a bookstore (yes, some of them do still exist) and take a look at some successful covers. Take pictures. Make notes about what makes them successful. Buy Photoshop. Learn how to use it. Get advice from other people -- not only friends and family. Post the images in a Goodreads discussion thread and ask strangers' opinions. Take their criticism and advice. Make changes. Then, when you have AMAZING new covers, then re-release your books (hopefully they've been re-edited by this point) and publicize that you have new editions with new cover art. Do giveaways. Do blog posts. Once people start seeing your amazing new covers, they will assume that the book is as good as the cover is and they will be WAY more likely to buy it.
I hope some of this helps you. I don't mean to be snarky about it, but come on. There is A LOT of competition out there and your stuff has to be top notch if you want to compete with the best. You have an awesome start, you just need to give these stories some more work. I hope you take the time to do it. Your characters are worth it.