Customer Reviews

Shadow Dancer [VHS]

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In this "erotic thriller" reportedly shot in 5 days (it shows), the alleged filmmakers serve up the customary exploitative schlock that we've come to expect from this cringe-inducing genre. In other words, if one of your guilty pleasures is watching Scantily-Clad Unknowns struggle in earnest to make an impossibly lame script work, you will not be disappointed...much. The "story": HotLittleStripper April's (Cara Vanlandingham) PsychoBoyfriend Nick (Jack Vanlandingham) destroys the blissful domesticity of a pair of painfully-wooden newlyweds, Stewardess Yvonne (April Breneman) and Pilot Rob (John McCafferty) with the help of Rob'sFormerBitchGirlfriend (Kim Dawson) who kinda resembles Kim Basinger. A somewhat interesting premise (too bad the writer didn't think so) that rarely rises above the level of a daytime soap (bare breasts excluded). Anyway, Nick scorns April and becomes so obsessed with Yvonne (yeah, sure) that bad things begin to happen. Concurrently, Nick begins to brush up on his Bible studies. Did I mention that the seriously deluded Nick also wears a ridiculous wig and a big fake moustache when he strips (as he fancies himself an aspiring actor and wants his past kept a secret when he finally "gets on them magazine covers")? Stop this silliness right now before I lose consciousness! Yet, there were moments during all of this nonsense that I found myself cheering the scene-chewing madman Nick on, as Jack Vanlandingham (emphasis on "ham"), in an unabashedly goofy performance, evokes shades of the wildly manic Klaus Kinski (sans accent), a rubber-faced Jim Carrey, and yes, even a surreal dash of Tony Orlando. Yet, there were also those untold moments when I fought sleep.