12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent, November 3, 2006
I am one of those rare creatures: a non-Jew who is very interested in the legacy of the Holocaust on the Jewish people. In one place, the author states that Jews view the Holocaust as a Jewish tragedy, while non-Jews see it as another example of "man's inhumanity to man." This is a generalization. I see the Holocaust as complete devastation for the Jews of Europe with traumatic effects that extend to Jews in many other places in the world. This does not mean ignoring non-Jewish victims; Charlotte Delbo, a non-Jew, wrote a painfully honest account of her time in Auschwitz. But I do recognize that there was a difference between those victims who were selected for complete annihilation and destruction of their culture, and those who, while subjected to persecution as individuals and perhaps within their families, were not meant to be elimated from the Earth.
Plus, anyone who is familiar with the awful history of European anti-Semitism will know that the Nazis took many of their techniques, such as Jewish stars, denial of rights to Jews, refusal to allow Jews into professions or even speak to Gentiles, and ghettos, straight from Catholic (and to some extent, Protestant as well) treatment of Jews during the Middle Ages.
The Holocaust was uniquely horrific; I'm not doubting that. but it's cheap for Christians to absolve ourselves by saying it's "man's inhumanity to man," given the long legacy of anti-Semitism, forced conversions, murders, etc.
That having been said -
Hass is a child of survivors and a clinical psychologist who felt that the literature on children of survivors was too skewed towards pathology. So he interviewed adult children from the general public. He did not find the level of pathology that some other psychologist authors have found, but he did find heightened mistrust. He states that three words he heard from just about every person in his 48-person sample were: fear, mistrust, cynicism.
He directly takes on the complex issues of remembering the Holocaust, the guilt induced by many survivor parents ("for this I survived the camps?"), strong and sometimes conflicted feelings about Jewish identity, relations with the Gentile world, and passing on the legacy to the "third generation." He addresses the nightmares of being chased, being behind bars, etc. that many children of survivors have, while also realizing their good fortune compared to their parents, which often leads to considerable guilt due to having easier lives, while their parents suffered so much. Even those children who rebelled against their parents felt this guilt.
At the same time, children of survivors often did not have their own emotional needs met because their parents experienced an overwhelming lack of support in the years following the genocide, meaning that further indifference and refusal to hear about the Holocaust made mourning diffiicult and enhanced the sense that the world was against the Jews. There was often little energy left over to appropriately emotionally nurture the children, especially when survivors saw their children living out the normal lives that were denied to them. Conflicts resulted for survivors: they wanted their children to be happy and they also displayed signs of their extreme suffering, even when they spoke little about the Holocaust. This led to confusion on the children's part. I think the indifference of an uncaring world, that went right on without much notice that the Jews of Europe had been destroyed, played a large part in this continuation of suffering.
He writes with compassion, honesty, and understanding, and is honest enough to tackle children of survivors' conflicted feelings about Gentiles, which expresses their pain and fear of persecution without descending into racism, though he reports some prejudiced statements from some Jews, such as that all Gentiles will sell them for a loaf of bread. While uncomfortable for me to read as a non-Jew, such statements represent the reality of what many of the survivors experienced. Other children of survivors go out of their way to understand Gentiles and work on behalf of oppressed groups of all ethnicities, because they want to bring their sensitivity to persecution and willingness to fight it to the larger world.
The book concludes with some moving thoughts on the third generation as described by his relationship with his young daughter, Rachel. He describes the need for Jews, even children of survivors who often don't learn much about the Holocaust intellectually, to keep memory alive. And he asks for increased dialogue between children and their aging parents so that the children understand their parents' lives in context, though he expresses the hope that the parents will express their experiences in a straightforward way, without trying to induce guilt, which would only make the children more defensive.
An outstanding, thoughtful book - highly recommended for anyone who wants to understand the legacy of persecution and the resilience that allows people to keep living despite it.
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