Customer Reviews

Shadow of the Holy Book

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In light of Between De Lions' great review, and as mine is the 2nd review, I'll be short and sweet.

Firslty, this film should have been called "I'll Be Damned If I Touch That Thing".

To my everlasting shame, I was not much acquainted with the relatively young nation of Turkmenistan, other than being relieved, when I first saw it on a map near Iran, that they didn't name it Kraplakistan. They might as well have, but...

...the now-defunct dictator of Turkmenistan ("President" Saparmurat Niyazov) wrote a book, now regarded (government-forced) as something like a new Qu'uran. The Turkmens must read and study this silly, idiotic book if they want to go to school, get a driver's license, or live at all. Right out of the Bible, this one, a real 666-type deal. And the satanic dictator looked like a fat little Saddam Hussein. He did try to get his hair to look a bit like Hitler, whom I'm sure he admired.

When the great dictator died, he made sure his mantle passed to a greasy, fat little look-alike ("President" Gurbanguly Berdimuhammedow) who is not only devoted to the holy book--he's doing his own Part Two.

But this seeming malapropos joke is not the main subject of the documentary, believe it or not.

As the preceding review tells, the corporations anxious to get into Turkmenistan have to swear allegiance to the holy book and promise to translate and distribute it. (Turkmenistan is a good strategic spot, and where the oil is, hence that is where the money is). If you want to know why Bush took us into Iraq, this film might help you understand.

I am very acquainted with John Deere & Company, and have been to the site where he originally built his first factory. John Deere and its trademark green always represented a part of America to me. But I also know they are all cold-blooded executroids (my term, but you know what I mean). It disgusted me to see them in Turkmenistan, paying allegiance to the book.

My gosh, if you are afraid of the so called anti-Christ, or the "End Times", or the Book of Revelations, or just plain sick of a-hole dictators running our corporations...see this movie! It may cause you to chuckle at first....

Apparently I must explain the following very carefully: the re-enactments of "Turkmeni newscasts" are frankly stupid. The makers of this film are a bit pathetic for doing that, but I guess they are courageous for framing it in that format. Do they know what a real Turkmeni newscast is like, that they can parody the newscasts as if this were Boliwood? Silly and unecessary.

With all that and the narrator's goofiness, you may be tempted to wonder if this thing is even half genuine. It's a bad habit picked up and abused by modern documentarists, making facts look phony.

However, I assure you that by the end of this film, you will be so scared and disheartened that only a big steak and rib dinner will bring you out of the dumps. You will not only believe the whole tamale, you will be horribly entranced by the implications.

And read Between De Lions' review, it's much better than mine.

Those freaking 'Stans are going to be a huge thorn in our side in the coming years. This brief film is just foreshadowing> Turkmenistan neighbors Iran and has a coastline. There is no way it is going to be ignored by evil warmongers playing all the angles from feeding the status quo by funneling bribes through purchases of the fake bible of and subsidizing Austrian-based (aren't they all?) human rights activists who look like (1) Germanic hybrids and (2) strangely manicured humanoid versions of THE LAST AIRBENDER. I recommend watching this documentary to everyone. I wish I could conduct a survey to find whether alarm bells ring the loudest when the father-son Airbenders show up on screen more than at any other time during the documentary.