Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self [Paperback]

Donald L. Nathanson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 17, 1994

This is a revolutionary book about the nature of emotion, about the way emotions are triggered in our private moments, in our relations with others, and by our biology.

Drawing on every theme of the modern life sciences, Donald Nathanson shows how nine basic affects—interest-excitement, enjoyment-joy, surprise-startle, fear-terror, distress-anguish, anger-rage, dissmell, disgust, and shame-humiliation—not only determine how we feel but shape our very sense of self.

For too long those who explain emotional discomfort on the basis of lived experience and those who blame chemistry have been at loggerheads. As Dr. Nathanson shows, chemicals and illnesses can affect our mood just as surely as an uncomfortable memory or a stern rebuke. Linking for the first time the affect theory of the pioneering researcher Silvan S. Thomkins with the entire world of biology, medicine, psychology, psychotherapy, religion, and the social sciences, Dr. Nathanson presents a completely new understanding of all emotion.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Nathanson claims to offer a new theory about shame and pride, but that theory--that shame is a biologically based response which is elaborated by memory--will not strike anyone outside the world of psychoanalysis as very interesting. College libraries which support counseling programs are better off with The Many Faces of Shame (Guildford Pr., 1987), which Nathanson edited. Other libraries can spend their money more usefully on Martin Seligman's Learned Optimism: The Skill To Conquer Life's Obstacles ( LJ 1/91). Not recommended.
- Mary Ann Hughes, Washington State Univ. Libs., Pullman
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

This extraordinarily well-written book combines knowledge drawn from psychotherapy, academic research, and the arts to provide a new understanding of our most intimate experience—the emotions. (Paul Ekman, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology, University of California Medical School )

A comprehensive system for understanding emotion. . . . An impassioned, provocative theory. (Publishers Weekly )

Shame and Pride is an impressive achievement. Nathanson establishes a solid and systematic foundation for the modern study of affect, much as Erik Erikson accomplished for identity and ongoing development throughout the life cycle. A rich and rewarding experience. (Richard P. Kluft, M.D., Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Temple University School of Medicine )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 496 pages
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company (March 17, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393311090
• ISBN-13: 978-0393311099
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #139,420 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A new paradigm, June 14, 2007

By 

Don Catherall (Chicago) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self (Paperback)

This book is based on the affect theory of Silvan Tomkins. I have read Tomkins' original works on affect theory. They are brilliant but somewhat remote and academic. Tomkins' view that affects supply the greatest part of our motivation is revolutionary (It is not your drive to survive that helps you to leap out of the way of the oncoming car, it is your fear affect). It leads to an entirely new way of understanding human behavior. Nathanson explains Tomkins' theories in a much more accessible way, but beware, this is another brilliant author who says more in a single sentence than most of us can squeeze into a paragraph. Hence, it can be dense reading. I have read the book three times, and I get more out of it every time I read it.

Nathanson's focus is on shame and, for me, it was an eye-opening experience to realize how pervasive shame is in almost everything we do. Nathanson is an eloquent writer and a keen observer; he shows how shame and pride influence our lives in so many (often invisible) ways.

Reading this book produced a major paradigm shift for me. I now feel that shame is the most under-appreciated emotion that anyone brings to therapy (I am a therapist). The stigma associated with shame is so great that therapists have glossed over it for years, choosing to focus on the issues that produce shame (such as Freud's focus on sexuality) rather than directly address the shameful feelings about the self that plague so many people who seek therapy. Why? Because we therapists are as vulnerable to those feelings as anyone else. And in order to help others with their feelings of shame, we have to be willing and able to access our own.

This may well be the most important book to appear in the mental health field in decades. It deals with a topic that almost everyone would prefer to avoid. But if you read it, you are likely to be better able to manage your own shame and to help others with theirs.

23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't miss this incredible book!, January 23, 2006

By 

M. Lowmiller (Pennsylvania, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self (Paperback)

The Editorial Review by the Library Journal has it totally wrong! Affect Psychology, as presented in this easy to read book, will open your mind to a new way of thinking about human emotions. The hardest emotion for the reader will be shame, and as shame is described it may interrupt your interest and excitement as you read. Press on! Once you really understand what he has to say, you will never again view your own or others emotions in the same way. This book's concepts are accessible, useable, and extremely applicable in today's crazy world.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant, May 7, 2008

By 

Musician-Explorer (Texas, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self (Paperback)

This approach of combining natural, inborn affect, having been observed and studied in infants for decades, with the human developmental process with its resulting emotion is brilliant. I have often been baffled at the complete disregard for shame in the human experience. It is as though the whole world is too ashamed to acknowledge the truth of how they really feel about themselves or how they think they are perceived by others. And the reality of affect broadcasting! How could six billion people collectively, unconsciously choose to put their blinders on and ignore the underlying mechanics of the human experience for so long. How about the description of affect broadcasting? Finally, a beginning model of the personal-social experiences, a reasoning behind social mores and their enforcement! What a pleasure to acquire such useful understanding from a book. I spent years of my own life trying to put the pieces together, putting myself in shameful situation after another (such as the pursuit of mastery of difficult, seemingly unattainable skills and accomplishments, such as professional music performance at high levels and with special emphasis on my weakness as opposed to natural strengths in front of unsympathetic, self-absorbed and cruel audiences. Suffice to say, through years of discipline and tenacity I achieved some excellent skills and experience) trying to understand the Rosetta Stone behind the human experience. This book helped provide a few key pieces to the puzzle. I was riveted! It is a fairly easy read to boot!