More About the Author
Why I wrote Shameless and a Little bit About Me:
Maybe it's a congenital disorder. Maybe it's something I learned as an itty-bitty baby. But when I find something wonderful or liberating or even mildly helpful, I can't keep my mouth shut. Even my mother, the original unfiltered talker, marvels at my compulsion to spill the beans whenever I'm on a mission.
Over the past four years, I took a pretty zany voyage from an honest-to-goodness repressed, monogamous, middle-aged, hyper-achieving, chubby woman with two kids to an honest-to-goodness monogamous, middle-aged, accomplished chubby "sex goddess" with two kids.
Once I owned up to my deepest, untapped desires, I discovered a wellspring of happiness and self-confidence inside me that extended to every part of my life. Whoa! I thought. This is incredible! Everyone should know they have the power to experience life in all its richness right now, just as they are. No diets, no plastic surgery, no nothing. Just intact, healthy sexuality.
If I can stop warring with my weight and workaholism, I think most people can. I know that when I stopped denying my hearty and normal sexual appetites, I started losing my uncontrollable urges to overeat, overwork and over-compensate. For the first time, I could relax in my own skin.
Admitting your desires takes a tanker-load of courage, and a rip-stop web of support. That's what I'm here to provide. That's my mission. That's why I wrote SHAMELESS.
Even if it's a bit outside the box for a respected advocate in the infertility field, I believe it is essential to speak up about healthy sexuality.
With few nonprofessional people willing to speak openly about the power of sensuality, the average sexually curious person is stuck with textbooks or fictional characters that they can enjoy but can't emulate. I ain't no "Cougar Town" Courtney Cox. Most men I know aren't starring in "Hung". But it doesn't mean we can't feel as sexy. And when we feel that sexy, that good about ourselves, when we feel we deserve pleasure, and lots of it, that's when so many things that seemed impossible can become our new reality. As Dr. Christiane Northrup so succinctly put it, "Pleasure is a life-changer."
Who better to write a tell-all about allowing pleasure to change your life than a woman who lived it and can't keep a secret? Yeah, I know. I'm shameless.
I am best known as a "pioneer" in fertility advocacy whose raw honesty, indefatigable will and sense of humor has helped lift "infertility" from a whispered curse to a pop culture cause célèbre. I leveraged her own struggles with and triumph over reproductive challenges into a national organization that successfully supported the family-building rights of all people.
Through my own story - I am trying to rallying women to live the full and integrated lives that are possible only when they embrace their sexuality. And I walk my talk, having worked with sexual healers and surrogates in the sacred intimacy underground. I have taken countless workshops and become a certified sexologist/somatic sex educator. Just as I did with infertility, I am committed to bringing a new focus on sexual behaviors and predilections, speaking and writing from my heart without judgment or hypocrisy.
My goal is to help emancipate women from the 'woulda's' and 'shoulda's' that have kept us in denial and darkness for thousands of years. I know it's possible for women to heal their sexual identities and embrace their bodies and desires in a safe, sane and consensual way--even within the bounds of marriage.
I am still very active in the field of fertility where my daily blog, www.thefertilityadvocate.com is a breakfast essential for reporters, writers and policymakers who want to know what is happening in the world of reproductive health and fertility.
I am the Founder and served as the first Executive Director of the American Fertility Association (AFA); my work and leadership have been honored by advocacy organizations including RESOLVE NYC and the New York City Chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays; I have given testimony at hearings for the National Institutes of Health, FDA, the President's Council on Bioethics and the Centers for Disease Control; and I have spearheaded the launch of World Fertility Awareness Month (WFAM), an international infertility public awareness movement that grew to more than 36 organizations from Africa, Europe, Latin America and Asia.
I have participated in more than 1,500 interviews with print, online, and broadcast media including appearances on Oprah, Dateline NBC, Today, and 60 Minutes. I currently live in the Riverdale section of New York City with my husband of 29 years with two sons.
Learn more at www.beingshameless.com