Customer Reviews

Share The Care: How to Organize a Group to Care for Someone Who Is Seriously Ill, (Revised and Updated)

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I have previously done all this, organizing a group of 32 people. This book would have been a godsend. The only thing I can add is: Keep a journal in the home of the person who is ill so each caregiver can leave a message for the person who takes the next shift. Include the feelings... calm, agitation, worries, the food taken or refused, the little touches that made a difference, the massage or the body that hurt too much, the closet straightened or bathroom cleaned as well as the medicines taken or refused. It greatly helps the group to feel together and to support each other, and helps the incoming person step into the flow.

I would just like to take a minute to say how absolutely wonderful this book is. I am 22 years old, and my Aunt Linda came out of remission from MS this Christmas. Her husband, a firefighter, her daughter, to be married, and her son, accepted to MSU this fall, all had lives that ceased at the moment of her reoccurring illness. I do not work, but I am married and found myself just like Sheila Warnock, devoting my entire life to my Aunt, or in her case Susand. Around the month of May, I began to get worried, "Will I ever get my life back?" That's when my Cousin & Uncle found a rewiew of the book, "Share the Care." Since this book, my life has completly changed. My Aunt's life has changed and so has her immediate family's life changed. We organized the group the way that the book layed out. And now have over 30 members devoting their time to care for someone they love. How wonderful for these two ambitious ladies to have taken the time to help so many others in their same situation. I too now help others set up their own "Share The Care" groups to help their loved ones. This book is truly a great one. If you have a family member, or know of someone who needs care, please, please buy this book, it will help you and the ones you love. Sincerely, Kari L. Bazner

This book is being used by a group of about 30 women (and a few men) to organize the care for a friend who is in stage 4 breast cancer. Our friend has decided to decline further aggressive treatment and wants to live out the rest of her life at home with as much love, dignity and well-being as possible. We (her friends) are dedicated to helping her do this and this book is our guide. It has something for everyone, from suggesting emotional bonding exercises and the do's and don't of conversation with terminally ill people to the practicality of providing forms to organize grocery shopping and other mundane day to day needs. It has been great for our group to support our friend and each other as we share the care.

This book was truly a blessing to our family. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) a year ago. Her brother found this book and passed it on to us. Using this book as a guide, we created a "Share the Care" group to help meet all of her needs - both physical and emotional. Our group now has over 40 members - some people take regular shifts during the week, others just help in ways that they can, like bringing over dinner once in while.

Often times, friends and family of the ill want to help, but they don't know how - this book helps to organize a group that can "share the care" so that everything doesn't fall on one or two people. It prevents the "burn out" that can occur with care giving.

When you read this book, it's important to remember that it is a guide. Stay flexible enough to use what works and mold a group that will work for your specific situation instead of gettting frustrated if you find that certain aspects of the program are not working for your group.

The bottom line is that this book will get you on the right path to making a difficult time much more manageable. Good luck!

This book and the system it so beautifully outlines is a must for anyone who is dealing with either a degenerating disease, a transplant, a major crisis (even if not one of health).

This is far and away the most hopeful book I've ever encountered on heavy duty outpatient care-giving. When faced with an eldercare or illness care crisis, did you ever think you would hear the words "You don't have to..." without feeling guilt? Well, read on. "You don't have to do things you don't want to do, you don't have to do things you are afraid to do, you don't have to do things you feel you're not good at," say our authors. "The power is in the group. Among all of you is the solution to any problem."

Between these covers is a complete how-to manual on setting up a care-sharing group that will continue to function for several years if necessary and out of which everyone emerges enriched. Too good to be true? I certainly hope not. The advice sounds hard-headed and real. The authors first introduce you to the case that launched their method, that of a terminally ill cancer patient friend. Hearing how well their approach worked is an eye-opener in itself. Then they get right down to the nuts and bolts of how to organize a care-giving group for one's own situation.. It takes planning. It takes nerve. It takes paperwork. And you have to think big - don't invite just a few intimate friends to your first meeting, invite absolutely everyone you can think of! (You' d be suprised who sticks around.) But the alternative - that of the classic 36 hr day for one or two hapless family members - is so clearly worse that you might as well try it. Hey, I have elderly parents and I'm about to send copies of this book to all my siblings.

Will appeal to: anyone with a situation on their hands.

This book is an excellent guide for establishing a support system for someone who is unable to meet their own daily living needs - for a short or long period of time, temporarily or until their death. Addressing both the emotional and logistical aspects of caring for someone, it provides a step-by-step path that can easily be modified to meet your specific needs. And all of the forms you'd ever need to stay organized and communicate with the rest of the team. My good friend has terminal cancer, and we are using it to coordinate local and long distance support for her and her husband. It really means that no one has to do it alone and that everyone who participates does so in a way that works for them and sustains the group over the long haul. I highly recommend this guide.

As part of a newly forming group that will be caring for a dear friend with ALS, this book is a godsend. It outlines everything from how to conduct the first meeting to getting all the day to day tasks done without the patient having to continually ask for help and without anyone getting burned out. No one over commits and no one is assigned tasks for which he or she is unsuited.

I'm part of an organization that is trying to use the Share the Care format with all it's volunteers. We are all trying to get our organization off the ground (Recovery Coaches International) and it's requiring a lot of work. The ideas in this book are really helpful to avoid burnout.


I sure wish I had read this book earlier when I've had friends who needed help, or were seriously ill. If you can convince the "sick" person to accept the help (possibly the hardest part among my friends), this is an incredible way to share, to help others, to learn to receive, to not "overgive", and still feel like you're making a difference in someone's life. I highly recommend it to all caregivers.

This is an easy to read, step-by-step "how to" book complete with all the necessary forms and online forms and assistance as well. Reading this book will help a group of friends know the best way to care for an ill or injured friend, both long and short-term.