Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.
It's OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids Paperback – August 2, 2012
|New from||Used from|
"1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12"
Parenting tools to use in virtually every situation, from internationally renowned clinical psychologist Thomas Phelan. Learn more.
Frequently Bought Together
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
–The Washington Post "On Parenting"
"An insightful, sensible and compassionate book full of downright revolutionary ideas."
"Brilliant. . . . It's OK Not to Share is an enlightening book that will make you take a second look at everything you believe."
"Did you read the title and think, what the heck? Me, too. Not only did I read it to figure out the title, I underlined about a third–it's that good."
–Melissa Taylor, ImaginationSoup.net
"What an amazing book! [Shumaker] challenge[s] the parenting myths and fallacies that our society has embraced for so long."
–Provider Resource Organization
"A breath of fresh air."
–Jane Pratt, founder of xoJane.com
"These 'renegade rules' will resonate with what you know to be true, speak to what you want most for your children, and teach you how to achieve it. Don't let this one slip off your reading list."
–Dr. Becky Bailey, author of Conscious Discipline and Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline
"This beautifully written book. . . provides immediate, sanity-saving answers to tough parenting questions. I highly recommend it."
–Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys and The Good Son
"From 'Bombs, Guns, and Bad Guys Allowed' to '"I Hate You!" Is Nothing Personal,' the table of contents alone is music to my ears. Heather Shumaker is a healthy mom I can relate to–and I'll bet you will too, when you hear out her logic."
–Paula Spencer Scott, author of Momfidence!
"A refreshing change from the usual admonitions. . . Shumaker's Renegade Rules are based on what children really need."
–Lawrence J. Cohen, author of Playful Parenting
"Shumaker beautifully shows us why letting kids be kids may be the single most important thing we can do as parents."
–Anthony T. DeBenedet, M.D. coauthor of The Art of Roughhousing
"A must-read for parents and teachers. This is a book you will want with you all the time."
–Daniel Hodgins, author of Boys: Changing the Classroom, Not the Child
"A no-nonsense commonsense appraoch. . . As you read this book, you will begin to feel the stress of parenting melt away."
–Vivian Kirkfield, PositiveParentalParticipation.com
About the Author
More About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
Heather Shumaker has put together 29 "Renegade Rules". The rules provide an unorthodox angle on common parenting issues, and each is based on successful practices in child development centers and homes around the world.
Shumaker is a journalist who had the good fortune to be enrolled as a young child in a preschool that respected the individuality and developmental needs of each child. Her mother was even a teacher there, so the ground rules set forth at school were carried over into her home. It's OK Not to Share cites a multitude of other authors, experts in early childhood development and psychology. I've read a number of these books and value them, so Shumaker's text fit nicely with my overall approach to mothering my son. While many of her assertions were quite familiar to me already, I found in her book a number of very useful specific suggestions for dealing with tricky situations.
"It's OK Not to Share" covers a gamut of early childhood topics. The book discusses a need to revive unstructured, free play for all children. It shows us how to deal with the wild emotions of little ones.Read more ›
The book arrived in my box shortly afterward and I dove in.
I quickly discovered that this book was written for parents of younger children, under the age of 6 - those really formative years. My kids are older than that, but I kept reading anyway. After 8 years of being told that I am a strict, lax, mean, over-nice, lazy, tough, terrible, brilliant, neurotic, crazy, casual parent, it was kind of nice to read a book that told me that for all these years I have been doing everything (mostly) just right. (Which is not to say that any of you have been doing it wrong - read on.)
My approach to parenting is based largely on what I consider "common sense", but what this book has told me is actually Renegade Sense - which explains so very much. I didn't realize that I really was parenting off the rails, but looking back, I see that for most of the fellow parents I know, these rules go against everything their "What to Expect when you have a toddler/preschooler/child" type books have told them.
All of these common sense guidelines, er, Renegade Rules, for parenting stem from one single rule - It's okay if it's not hurting people or property. They also stem from a deep respect for children's play. Something I fully support.
One of the things I like most about Renegade Rules is that Shumaker takes the time to help us take off our "adult lenses" and see the world through a kid's eyes.Read more ›
What I see as her overarching rule of rules is her Renegade Rule #2: It's OK if it's not hurting people or property. My translation: let kids be kids. Allow them to make noise, make messes, wrestle and roughhouse with each other by mutual agreement, have arguments, be selfish and hog a toy for the entire day, say almost anything (with certain limitations), play during 99% of their free time, and make believe any fantasy they can dream of, even if that fantasy appears to be violent on the surface. AS LONG AS IT'S NOT HURTING PEOPLE OR PROPERTY.
If you read this far and have dropped your jaw in shocked disagreement, you need to read this book so you will understand the growing legion of parents who will raise their children by these rules and will succeed. You might also discover that your experts have misled you about effective, beneficial child raising techniques.
If you read this far and have dropped your jaw in shocked amazement and enlightenment that your intuitive impulse and desire to raise your child with the common sense is valid, even though you went along with standard child raising guidelines, then you especially need to read this book.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
A must for every parent, grandparent and person who shares space with children. The best part for me is the emphasis on a child's view of reality. Read morePublished 5 months ago by DIANE E DELAMER
Amazing resource for those wanted to use positive parenting. The advice is similar to what you'll find with other resources, but this has practical application examples and phrases... Read morePublished 6 months ago by S Reichelt
I love this book and it's general idea of let kids be kids. I read this book at the library and only buy books that I know I will reread and this one makes is worth the buy. Read morePublished 7 months ago by Heather Kelley
Teaching young children to express themselves through dictation is a powerful tool that encourages thoughtful approach to stress and literacy. That's just one chapter. Read morePublished 7 months ago by Kris Ewing
One of the only parenting books I've found that deals with social interactions between kids. An invaluable resource!Published 8 months ago by Bonnie S Arnold
First and foremost, this book has given me the most useful parenting tools I have ever had the pleasure to implement. Read morePublished 10 months ago by MacK