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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Worst shark movie I've ever seen.,
By
This review is from: Shark Attack 2 [VHS] (VHS Tape)
Now, keep in mind, I've only seen six shark-based movies in all. There are the four Jaws films, Deep Blue Sea, and now Shark Attack 2, which is, yes, even worse than the much hated Jaws the Revenge. Actually, not to my surprise at all, this movie rips off every one of the aforementioned films (yep, from genetic tampering in Deep Blue Sea to even all the way down to the "character at the end who should have been eaten but surfaces injured and alive" ending from Jaws the Revenge), but it's not as if though this couldn't have been a fun movie. For crying out loud, I enjoyed Octopus. But no, Shark Attack 2 is a bad movie in any way you put it. It begins with two sisters scuba-diving, and one of them is eaten by a big great white shark. Said shark is later tranquilized and placed in an exhibition in a park called Water World, of all names. Anyway, the shark escapes in a scene that still boggles me with its horrendous special effects and lack of coherent continuity. Thus, the surviving sister, a shark expert named Nick, and a Steve Irwin-wannabe set out to hunt this shark, only to discover a terrible secret about its origin. Having never seen the original Shark Attack, I can't say for sure how this one continues the story, though I'm figuring the stuff about the cancer research involving sharks has something to do with it. But all that aside, this is a very basic hunt-and-kill movie, from both sides of the field, be it sharks trying to eat humans or humans trying to kill the sharks. How hard can it be to screw such a concept up? Apparently, very easily, if you don't have the proper budget or acting chops to back a production up. The movie mostly relies on stock footage for its visual effects, which hinders continuity considering we explicity see a shark without an eye in one scene, though all stock footage clearly features a shark with an eye. For the genuine effects themselves, the sharks don't look so bad underwater, they're quite passable then, but when they surface to chomp, wow, it's like looking at a giant, shiny toy. Check out the surf competition massacre, where it's obvious they're not dragging the surfers in the water, the surfers are simply falling into their mouths. The script has an amusing tendency to get pretty trendy, especially with all the Steve Irwin and Discovery Channel references (there's even a "Cartman" imitation at one point). Even if this were a "good" movie (as good as such a movie can be), it'd date itself mighty quickly with its trendiness. The story itself has a lot of silly moments that raise a lot of questions. For one, are there really such things as glock handguns that work underwater? Would somebody really use a bomb that couldn't be disarmed? Would a couple really make love in water, especially with all the violence that'd been associated with it? When I think about it, the only thing worthy of note is that Nikita Ager bears a passing resemblance to Erika Eleniak, which means she's kind of hot. Everyone else here delivers pretty weak perormances (Ager included), and I swear, some of them even sound like their voices have been dubbed over (particularly Thorsten Kaye, whose tone of voice varies constantly like a concert band doing warm-ups). Just watch the first two Jaws movies again for fun shark thrillers.
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Make your own shark movie!,
By "cthoms" (West Chatham, MA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Shark Attack 2 (DVD)
Much like it's predecessor and successor, Shark Attack and Shark Attack 3, this movie gives new meaning to the word terrible. It's hard to even describe how bad this movie is.However, if you were interested in making your own Shark Attack 4 movie there are only a few things that you need to keep in mind. Your movie needs to start with some sort of unexplained attack related to some strange creature that is later discovered to be some scientifically altered shark. Then you need some sort of rogue scientist who has recently been fired from his job or is of ill repute for some reason or another and an attractive scientist woman who ultimately will fall in love with this rogue scientist. These scientists must realize the eminent danger posed by the mutant shark and immediately confront some wealthy bigwig. The wealthy bigwig then must ignore the scientists' pleas in an effort to make some money on some sort water related activity. Finally after shark related deaths start occurring at that water event, the wealthy bigwig tells the scientists to hatch a plan to kill the sharks. The plan needs to involve stringing a bunch of batteries together to lure the sharks to some sort of bomb. On the eve of the execution of this plan, the two scientists have to hook up in the water. The day of the plan needs to involve a close call with the shark eventually getting blown up. So that is the format if you ever yearn to create a Shark Attack movie. However, if you find yourself with that urge, please make sure that you are one of the people eaten by the shark because these movies just need to stop being made.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
I had to see it to believe it...and I still don't believe it,
By e5150 (United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Shark Attack 2 (DVD)
I had heard about this film with roaring, growling sharks and I thought "no way would anyone try to pull a stunt like that." But the stunt has truly been pulled. It's true. It's absolutely true.Everything you hear about this film is entirely accurate. From the growling, plastic sharks to the blatant script plagiarism of JAWS. I have seen it with my own eyes. So, to prevent myself from having a stroke just thinking about this horrible, awful "film", I try think of it in terms of a parody. Yes, that must be it. This film is supposed to be a parody; supposed to be FUNNY. It HAS to be intentional. There is no other explanation. The budget was clearly less than a beggar's pocket inventory (including lint), because for an era when digital effects come cheap they could only afford about 2 minutes of digital footage at the end. The rest of the time the "sharks", when not appearing in rehashed stock underwater footage (Jacques Cousteau's table scraps I assume), are motionless plastic toys. The actors have to try extra hard to convince us that they are being eaten when they are thrashing about in a mouth that doesn't move. Spielberg had better effects than this 30 years ago. No, I am convinced this is a parody and we are MEANT to laugh. Why else, at the very end when the heroes are underwater planting their trap, would the Aussie guy--after getting out of his little submarine--pull out a FREAKIN' HANDGUN?!?!?!?!UNDERWATER?!?!?!?!
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