Customer Reviews

Shark Attack 2

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(10)

 

 

Now, keep in mind, I've only seen six shark-based movies in all. There are the four Jaws films, Deep Blue Sea, and now Shark Attack 2, which is, yes, even worse than the much hated Jaws the Revenge. Actually, not to my surprise at all, this movie rips off every one of the aforementioned films (yep, from genetic tampering in Deep Blue Sea to even all the way down to the "character at the end who should have been eaten but surfaces injured and alive" ending from Jaws the Revenge), but it's not as if though this couldn't have been a fun movie. For crying out loud, I enjoyed Octopus.

But no, Shark Attack 2 is a bad movie in any way you put it. It begins with two sisters scuba-diving, and one of them is eaten by a big great white shark. Said shark is later tranquilized and placed in an exhibition in a park called Water World, of all names. Anyway, the shark escapes in a scene that still boggles me with its horrendous special effects and lack of coherent continuity. Thus, the surviving sister, a shark expert named Nick, and a Steve Irwin-wannabe set out to hunt this shark, only to discover a terrible secret about its origin.

Having never seen the original Shark Attack, I can't say for sure how this one continues the story, though I'm figuring the stuff about the cancer research involving sharks has something to do with it. But all that aside, this is a very basic hunt-and-kill movie, from both sides of the field, be it sharks trying to eat humans or humans trying to kill the sharks. How hard can it be to screw such a concept up? Apparently, very easily, if you don't have the proper budget or acting chops to back a production up.

The movie mostly relies on stock footage for its visual effects, which hinders continuity considering we explicity see a shark without an eye in one scene, though all stock footage clearly features a shark with an eye. For the genuine effects themselves, the sharks don't look so bad underwater, they're quite passable then, but when they surface to chomp, wow, it's like looking at a giant, shiny toy. Check out the surf competition massacre, where it's obvious they're not dragging the surfers in the water, the surfers are simply falling into their mouths.

The script has an amusing tendency to get pretty trendy, especially with all the Steve Irwin and Discovery Channel references (there's even a "Cartman" imitation at one point). Even if this were a "good" movie (as good as such a movie can be), it'd date itself mighty quickly with its trendiness. The story itself has a lot of silly moments that raise a lot of questions. For one, are there really such things as glock handguns that work underwater? Would somebody really use a bomb that couldn't be disarmed? Would a couple really make love in water, especially with all the violence that'd been associated with it?

When I think about it, the only thing worthy of note is that Nikita Ager bears a passing resemblance to Erika Eleniak, which means she's kind of hot. Everyone else here delivers pretty weak perormances (Ager included), and I swear, some of them even sound like their voices have been dubbed over (particularly Thorsten Kaye, whose tone of voice varies constantly like a concert band doing warm-ups). Just watch the first two Jaws movies again for fun shark thrillers.

Much like it's predecessor and successor, Shark Attack and Shark Attack 3, this movie gives new meaning to the word terrible. It's hard to even describe how bad this movie is.

However, if you were interested in making your own Shark Attack 4 movie there are only a few things that you need to keep in mind. Your movie needs to start with some sort of unexplained attack related to some strange creature that is later discovered to be some scientifically altered shark. Then you need some sort of rogue scientist who has recently been fired from his job or is of ill repute for some reason or another and an attractive scientist woman who ultimately will fall in love with this rogue scientist. These scientists must realize the eminent danger posed by the mutant shark and immediately confront some wealthy bigwig. The wealthy bigwig then must ignore the scientists' pleas in an effort to make some money on some sort water related activity. Finally after shark related deaths start occurring at that water event, the wealthy bigwig tells the scientists to hatch a plan to kill the sharks. The plan needs to involve stringing a bunch of batteries together to lure the sharks to some sort of bomb. On the eve of the execution of this plan, the two scientists have to hook up in the water. The day of the plan needs to involve a close call with the shark eventually getting blown up.

So that is the format if you ever yearn to create a Shark Attack movie. However, if you find yourself with that urge, please make sure that you are one of the people eaten by the shark because these movies just need to stop being made.

I had heard about this film with roaring, growling sharks and I thought "no way would anyone try to pull a stunt like that." But the stunt has truly been pulled. It's true. It's absolutely true.

Everything you hear about this film is entirely accurate. From the growling, plastic sharks to the blatant script plagiarism of JAWS. I have seen it with my own eyes.

So, to prevent myself from having a stroke just thinking about this horrible, awful "film", I try think of it in terms of a parody. Yes, that must be it. This film is supposed to be a parody; supposed to be FUNNY. It HAS to be intentional. There is no other explanation.

The budget was clearly less than a beggar's pocket inventory (including lint), because for an era when digital effects come cheap they could only afford about 2 minutes of digital footage at the end. The rest of the time the "sharks", when not appearing in rehashed stock underwater footage (Jacques Cousteau's table scraps I assume), are motionless plastic toys. The actors have to try extra hard to convince us that they are being eaten when they are thrashing about in a mouth that doesn't move. Spielberg had better effects than this 30 years ago.

No, I am convinced this is a parody and we are MEANT to laugh. Why else, at the very end when the heroes are underwater planting their trap, would the Aussie guy--after getting out of his little submarine--pull out a FREAKIN' HANDGUN?!?!?!?!UNDERWATER?!?!?!?!

With the exception of JAWS and possibly DEEP BLUE SEA, you could take all these shark attack movies and lump them together; just change the actors, sometimes the location, but you end up with the same thing: poor special effects, so-so acting and some occasional laughs and/or thrills. This entry like the other two SHARK ATTACK movies is generic fluff, with little novelty or variety to distinguish it. The cast of Thorsten Kaye (as the studly hero), Nikita Alger (the hot diver) and Daniel Alexander (the studly if obnoxious Steve Irwin clone) gamely tries to breathe life, but this is just another movie in which the shark should have eaten the whole bunch.

Ahem, any way...

I was going to write a long review for this, but now that I've sitten down to do it I find that it's really hard to say why I hated this movie in any coherent manner. Heck, all of it is bad! From the typical "We can't close the beaches, I might lose $5" corporate character to the Australian animal hunter (is everyone in Australia a hunter, or are these movies just dumb?) the characters are really unfascinating. The exception is the limping character who I thought was gonna die but thankfully didn't. (the handicapped characters usually die - see "Friday the 13th Part II" and "Nightmare on Elm Street III" if you don't believe me)

The acting in this was atrocious too. I loved the scene where the female lead looks out at the water with mild concern, and after a surfer is eaten her look changes to slightly more mild concern. Audrey Hepburn you are not.

From the opening scene that rips off "Jaws II" to the part where a whole pack of sharks somehow get through a tiny hole in the shark net, you won't find any real reason to watch this movie save to see some people get chomped. It does give plenty of that, I'll give the movie the benefit of the doubt. Wait...no, no benefit for this movie. I take my benefit back.

It's sad when, even with high-tech special effects, Jaws, which was made in the 1970's, is still better than this.

And how many times have people said it? SHARKS DO NOT ROAR!!!
When sharks roar in movies, I don't find it frightening, I find it amusing.

Fans of terrible B style horror movies may officially commence with the rejoicing, because the cliche ridden crapfest with the incredibly inventive title "Shark Attack 2!" is in fact moderately entertaining! Make no mistake; this is a terrible movie on almost every level by nearly all standard conventions of what would define a good film. The important difference between this terrible horror movie and an equally inept attempt at filmmaking such as "Zombie 5" or "Witchcraft 10" is that this movie actually manages to be amusing, and it even occasionally manages to reach that all important goal on purpose. While it certainly won't be winning any awards or generating any buzz, this clone of a clone sequel can be quite entertaining, especially if served up with a liberal side of happy juice.

Each entry in the Shark Attack series is generally interchangeable with any other, as they all follow the same basic premise and have the same types of characters. For some reason some sort of genetically engineered mutant or even naturally gigantic sharks are unleashed on poor, unsuspecting aquatic enthusiasts such as beach goers and marine biologists. Some sort of evil businessman or politician will blame the mayhem and slaughter on the constantly chipper hero, who must stick it to the man by bringing the flesh hungry underwater terrors to justice, sushi style. This particular member of the ever growing Shark Attack family faithfully follows this same story structure, and even manages to obviously steal multiple storyline arcs from the original "Jaws" as well. The basic hook in this movie is that some diabolical doctor was genetically altering sharks to try to come up with a cure for cancer. When no cure was forthcoming and the sharks had been altered into water bound killing machines, the doctor released them into the deep blue sea to wreak havoc at their leisure, primarily at an upcoming surf competition which will be flooded with all kinds of delicious surfer sized snacks. These sharks aren't just hungry, they are completely homicidal, as they will mow through surfers and scuba divers like there's no tomorrow. Once they have sufficiently killed someone, they will leave the mostly intact corpse to rot in the sea and then immediately seek out yet another human to kill. Of course, a suave and debonair hero will be required to stop the fishy menace while tossing around witty one liners.

The beefcake hero this time around is played by Thorsten Kaye, who is doing his best to channel David Hasselhoff in Bay Watch. No matter how desperate or hopeless a situation becomes, Thorsten always has a humorous retort ready on his lips and a ludicrously large grin on his face. Even when imminent death is staring him in the face, this hero is incapable of feeling fear or showing any emotion besides a mild bemusement that anyone around him is feeling the slightest bit of panic. Starring opposite Thorsten as the unnecessary and unbelievable female romantic interest is Nikita Ager, who probably got sick of being turned down by adult film directors and decided to give B movies a shot. A painfully bad montage occurs about 3/4 of the way through the film to show how this star crossed couple's love comes into bloom that is guaranteed to elicit more guffaws than any summer blockbuster comedy. Any director looking to break into the comedy genre needs to study this montage carefully and take plenty of notes.

Unintentional hilarity of this nature abounds in Shark Attack 2. During one particularly nonsensical scene, a worker at the requisite SeaWorld type aquatic wonderland ties a rope around the chunk of meat he's about to feed to a captive great white shark. Does he secure the other end of the rope to something? Nope, he leaves it in a coil conveniently next to his foot so that he can be dragged into the tank and become fish chow. Even more humorously, despite the fact that their is a whole tour crowd full of witnesses to this terrible tragedy, no one bothers to try to help the nameless worker out of the tank until after he's already become lunch. Just like the audience will be, everyone gathered around the tank just stares with glazed over eyes as this imbecile is attacked by a shark in the most improbable manner ever. Although it teeters between amusing and annoying, the voice track is worth mentioning as it is out of sync with the actor's lips. For most of the film it's just off kilter enough to be noticeable, but during the surf competition massacre it gets worse than a dubbed version of an old Godzilla movie. A woman screams out to warn the surfers of their impending doom, and then the actresses lips start moving about ten seconds later. The production isn't completely terrible in every aspect, as someone made the very wise decision to hire on the talented Mark Morgan to produce the musical score. Fans of the computer role playing game Plancescape: Torment will recognize his music quickly, as he even re-uses one of the tracks from that game in this movie.

Not only is this movie entertaining, but it is also life changing. Director David Worth attempts to teach his audience several very important life lessons with Shark Attack 2. For example, many people probably don't know that not only do sharks roar like lions when they attack people, but they also have shotgun resistant hides. Apparently it's also possible to talk wirelessly underwater with full scuba gear on, all with no distortion or loss of sound quality! Of equal importance is the little known fact that it's easy to tell evil individuals from good ones, because evil people will always end a statement with the phrase "Now if you'll excuse me..." when they are trying to dodge a direct question. Undoubtedly the most important idea that Worth presents, and the central underlying theme of this movie, is that people with cancer should be exterminated so that mutant killer sharks will stop ruining surf competitions. Philosophers and sages alike will refer back to Worth's genius and masterful ideas for generations to come.

Shark Attack 2 is a big steaming pile of crap, and there's just simply no denying that fact. It is however, quite delicious crap, and it just gets tastier if you ditch the soda and popcorn and pull out the hard liquor.

Shark attack 2 is not as good,but the sharks look more real. I will name out some of the flaws: 1. the sharks growl. 2.some of the acting was bad. 3. The sharks tails don't move at all that i can see. Well,if you like shark movies then this is the movie for You!

This was so stupid. Intelligent sharks that swim in schools terrorize a

local tourist beach community. Complete with direct rip-0ffs from

"Jaws," and combined footage of real sharks with plastic and inflatable

toy sharks. Also the shark thinks it's a lion as it growls before and

during attacks. People underwater with scuba gear can talk, and scream

easily too..Hmmmm..LOL..If you like bad films, you might wanna see how

stupid and cheap this is. There is plenty nof unintentional humor here. But I cannot give it any better than 1 star. Because that's what it is. A one star mega low budget film. Bad actors. Bad script. Bad director. Bad special effects. But if you hate bad movies, stay away...

Truly for lovers of below "B" grade films only.

If you're a B-movie, schlock, sci fi/horror junkie, "Shark Attack 2" is a 3 star movie. Close and getting better but not quite over the top.

Viewers will have a lot to complain about in this movie. Yes, 60% of the plot is stolen from "Jaws". Yes, 10% of the plot is stolen from "Jaws 2". Yes, 20% of the plot is stolen from "Jaws 3-D". Yes, the shark growls like a rabid dog. Yes, the Aussie character is a walking caricature of Steve Irwin and blatant advertisement for Discovery Channel. Yes, the minimal CGI and stock shark footage is crap. Yes, there are times when the actors almost seem to be laughing instead of screaming for there lives. Yes, for some reason, it does sound like the movie dialogue has been re-dubbed. It's like the voices don't seem to belong to the people saying the lines. But the director (intentionally or not) has turned the schlock level up quite a bit from the prequel "Shark Attack" and has diligently worked towards perfecting that holy grail of all B-movies, the perfect combination of poorly made and deliciously bad film making, falling just short of that goal. "Shark Attack 2" (again, intentionally or not) sets the viewing table quite nicely for it's glorious over the top sequel entitled "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon".

Thorsten Kaye (Of "All My Children" fame) has this deep, husky voice and accent that just says "Evil, foreign guy waiting to stab me in the back the first time I trust him then flees the country never to be seen again". If the plot mattered, it would be tough to believe him as the good guy.

Nikita Ager is smoking hot. That out of control mane of beautiful blonde hair is the true star of the movie. No way any red blooded male puts her at risk of death or dismemberment. She's more attractive than Jenny McShane of "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon" (whose is still hot in her own right). Which reminds me, "Where do these B-movie producers find these beautiful women anyway?"

I think viewing "Shark Attack 2" as a one, two punch with "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon" is the way to go. "Shark Attack 2" still stands on it's own as an "entertainingly bad" movie but if you can only watch one shark movie from Lions Gate this evening, go with "Megalodon".