Customer Reviews

Shatnerquake

5 star:		(34)
4 star:		(19)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

If you're wondering whether Shatnerquake lives up to its premise, rest assured, it packs more Shatner greatness into every scene than any series that has ever featured the real William Shatner (if such a thing as the "real" Shatner exists). It's kind of like Jeff Burk took Shatner's entire career, threw it into a blender, and then made it into a stiff pulp-bizarro drink. Not only does it feature Captain Kirk, T.J. Hooker, and Priceline Shatner, but there's also my favorite Shatner of all. I'll refrain from spoiling the surprise you'll get when that William S. comes up in the book. To add to the awesomeness, you also have the Campbellians. I imagine fans of Bruce Campbell will appreciate their sinister role in the plot. With all its geeked-out awesomeness, Shatnerquake is a fun read.

The concept of this book is so hilarious you just can't deny its awesomeness. Not only is it a cool idea for a book, but it is also a heck of a lot of fun to read. My favorite parts are seeing Captain Kirk interacting with fat nerdy people in Star Trek costumes, mistaking them for members of his crew. I also love Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner and Priceline Shatner, who teleports around people. This is the funniest book I've read in a long time. It needs to be made into a movie.

Jeff Burk's Shatnerquake is the finest story ever told containing multiple William Shatners. Lesser authors have been shackled before now with writing only one role for Shatner. This is understandable, in the field of television and film, for logistical reasons. However, this has never been the case in the literary realm and Burk has led the way here with both great panache and bloodletting.

Unsatisfied with a single Shatner, Burk here provides a wall of Shatners. A smorgasbord of Shatners. Indeed, every possible variation of Shatner is set upon onlookers, each other, and the reader. No one is safe, let alone Shatner.

While some people have, in the past, mocked Shatner, deriding his skill as a thespian, song stylist, or margarine spokesman, Burk has shown that the problem has never been one of too much Shatner, rather too little. Free of casting limitations the literary form allows for full Shatner on Shatner action. At last Shatner is presented on a level playing field, where characters are of the same caliber.

With Shatnerquake, Burk has solved the Shatner dilema, which has plagued man since 1951, and he shall be remembered forever for this.

Denny Crane!

First off, I'm not happy having paid 10 bucks for 70-something pages of story (the first page is numbered "11"); that's about 14 cents a page. It's not, as it proclaims on the cover, an "action novel." It's not even an action novella. At best, it's an action short story, or even an action essay. This thing is bare bones, and not in an Elmore Leonard-style "say everything that needs to be said in the most colorful and efficient way," either. It reads like stage directions: "Shatner went here. Then he did this. Then he went somewhere else." (And boy, does Burk love the word "then.")

So there's action, but very little description. Supporting characters are cardboard cutouts. Why should I care about any of them? Why did Bob get plastic surgery? What's the deal with Natalie? And worst of all, what about the Campbellians? What's the history behind the feud? Where did they get the bomb? Burk presents several interesting ideas, but doesn't even attempt to flesh them out. The best thing this tiny little pamphlet has going for it is the concept, which is pretty good and has a lot of potential, but is in no way fully realized.

I'm not sure why other reviewers are so anxious to kiss Burk's feet, but for my money, I expect proper spelling and grammatical correctness. Nearly every page in "Shatnerquake" features a comma splice, there are numerous typos, and I'm just floored that someone who would write a "book" featuring William Shatner wouldn't know how to spell "McCoy" correctly. ("Cathy" Bates is another obvious error.) If I could have read this online for free...I wouldn't have. That said, there are a couple of good lines scattered here and there ("The air smelled like someone was burning tires and cats."), but not nearly enough to tip the scales to the positive.

A couple of other points: the text is loosely formatted to take up maximum space on the page (probably to cheat the page count); and five-space indents and the "two spaces at the end of a sentence" rule went out when people stopped using typewriters.

I was just feeling kind of down about my own writing, having just finished another Stephen King novel, but if "Shatnerquake" can get published and receive rave reviews, then maybe there's hope for me yet.

William Shatner is the guest of honor at "Shatnercon," a convention dedicated to everything Shatner; from his classic Twilight Zone episode, to Star Trek, through his TV roles on TJ Hooker and Rescue 9-1-1, right up to his role as a super-lawyer on Boston Legal. As Shatner signs autographs for an endless line of maniacal fans, a Campellian (those who worship actor Bruce Campbell and feel Shatner is a false messiah) sets off a "fiction bomb," a sedlom-used terrorist device that has the ability to turn ficton-media in its immediate vicinity into reality. The bomb goes off backstage behind several screens showing William Shatner films and TV clips. Before long, many of the characters Shatner has played over the years come alive---and go after the actor who gave them fictional life. (I have to admit I kept waiting for "redneck" Shatner from 1977's KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS to show, but I guess if Burke used every little character Shatner has played the book would've been over 500 pages!).

What follows is one HYSTERICAL, bizarro/action romp that had me laughing on nearly every page, especially one scene where Shatner uses the original Twilight Zone-ambulance to try and escape an attack from TJ Hooker (yes--this book goes there and FAR beyond)

My only drawback was Burk's use of the Real Shatner's dialogue; in nearly every sentence he speaks like...Captain Kirk...did...on...the classic...TV show. It worked for the first half, then became a bit worn out. But despite this minor irritant, I can't see anyone not getting a real charge out of this (and IF he ever reads it, I think Shatner hmself would approve--especially after the author's heartfelt open-letter/introduction).

Add a HUGE plus here for a light-sabre-weilding Kirk attacking a room full of Bruce-worshipers whle the scene is narrarated by Rescue 9-1-1- Shatner.

SHATNERQUAKE is a truly outrageous laugh-riot (let's just hope the author doesn't get sued for using so many copyrighted characters without permission!).

I had the extreme (XTREME) pleasure of seeing Jeff Burk perform a scene from Shatnerquake at a reading recently. If you've not seen this, immediately find out when and where you can, and see it. But before you do that, read the book. I happened to have finished Shatnerquake the night before I saw Jeff perform. I was very happy I had.

Jeff Burk has created something smart and amazing with Shatnerquake. The whole concept is hilariously brilliant. William Shatner? William Shatner. William Shatner! That truly says everything about the thrill-ride through the Shatner-tastic world-bending event. It's a quake in all senses of the world. It will rock you.

Even when Captain Kirk is rampaging through the sickest convention center in all the land, phasering bystanders and later chopping up everything around him with a lightsaber, I wanted to be there.

I'm pretty sure nearly every memorable character Shatner has ever played is in this book--all at one time. It's like an electric Shatner pie. It's non-stop. It's insightful. It's an homage in perfect Bizarro form. It is seriously a blast to read.

Jeff Burk takes a look at juicy bits of society through a Shatner-tinted looking glass, turning show business (conventions in particular) on its side for the readers to get a good look. He's done a great job of keeping it fast and funny and sliding ideas past us in the melee surrounding a Shatner-disaster.

It's obviously an ode to a tremendous entertainer, and Mr. Burk treats William Shatner and his career with great respect, while still taking us on a crazy ride through the public persona of such a well-known and illustrious performer.

Rock and roll in written form.

There's even a Bruce Campbell sci-fi cult. (They're the ones that make Shatner's convention experience so much fun.)

Buy this book!

A good Bizarro book is like a good punk rock record: fast paced, aggressive, and passionate enough that you're compelled to look past rough edges and the occasional sour note. Jeff Burk's Shatnerquake is not a good Bizarro book; it's a great Bizarro book. From it's geek-tastic premise (William Shatner is trapped at a convention, besieged by the many characters he's played) to its other-side-of-strange setting (Burk knows his SF conventions... not to mention his Shatners) to its gleeful sense of violence, Shatnerquake delivers everything it promises (including Captain Kirk with a lightsaber). Throw in fiction bombs (television networks' competition has escalated to all-out warfare, creating these brilliant plot devices), Bruce Campbell-venerating terrorists (Hail to the King, baby), and an ending that begs for a sequel (never fear, Shatnerquest and Shatnerpocalypse are on their way), and you've got one "action novel" that's well worth your lunch money. It's Shatner-tastic!

I'm a Star Trek fan though I don't know if I'd call myself a trekker or a trekkie. Even so, this book was awesome. It's funny, violent, and fast-paced. The premise alone is classic.

Burk has taken a love of Star Trek/William Shatner and channeled it into one of the best books of the year. Seriously. The story takes place in the near future (though I am reluctant to call it SF) and all of the action takes place in a huge convention called ShatnerCon.

And who is the arch-enemy of Shatner and all of his fans? Bruce Campbell and his minions! How is that not awesome?

The writing is smooth, the dialogue excellent (stilted dialogue is a pet peeve of mine), and the characters funny as all hell.

Even if you aren't into Star Trek, you'll probably like this book especially if you are familiar with all of the different roles that William Shatner has played during his career. It's a short book so that means only an hour or so out of your life. It's an hour well spent. Though that's probably my only criticism: I'd love to read more about this. Another 25-50 pages would've been super. Still, maybe short and sweet was the best route. Anyway, I hope there's a sequel or a related book of some sort.

If you're into Star Trek, bizarre, cult fiction, Bruce Campbell, and funny offbeat fiction, check this out!

This book is definitely not for everyone. It was written strictly for entertainment value. Kinda like a Troma movie. In this case, that means cartoonish characters, extreme violence, lots of improbability, and weird humor. It's also very short. Short enough to read in one sitting. This is in all aspects a "guilty pleasure" book and should be treated as such. But unlike, for example, romance novels, it doesn't follow a formula. Remember it's Bizarro, so you really NEVER know what's going to happen next. Surprises all the way through.

Pros:
* Entertaining as hell
* Short enough to read in one sitting
* No contrived "message" to shove down your throat
* Straight-forward writing
* Creative and NON-FORMULAIC
* Makes a great gift
* Shatner, Shatner, Shatner!

Cons:
* Needs a little editing
* Likely to get jacked by unscrupulous peoples
* No Shatner-on-Shatner Sex Scenes

Know what you're getting into! If you're after something that really delves deep into characterization and uses beautifully-written prose, I'd recommend reading "Madame Bovary." If you like B-movies and violence, or if you're already a fan of Bizarro fiction, this is a good'un.

Shatnerquake. My god, Shatnerquake.

I first learned of this book from a blog run by a certain Wil Wheaton. He gave his recommendation, and I decided to give it a chance.

I regret nothing.

Is this book expert? No. But it's not trying to be. It's an insane premise with hilarious execution. An evening well spent, I must say.

If you've ever been a fan of any Shatner incarnation that has ever existed, this battle royale is for you.