Customer Reviews

Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife

5 star:		(74)
4 star:		(31)
3 star:		(14)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

This is an amazing story, which reads like fiction, although it's not. Irene's real life experiences are hard for many of us to comprehend. Religious principles that promote polygamy as Godly seems alien in the land of the free and the brave. Although now illegal in the US, it's likely that in remote parts of the US, Mexico and elsewhere, young woman are still being indoctrinated in this way. Our author was one of them.

Irene's courage in living this life and then leaving it, is admirable, and the close-up look at fundamental Mormonism this book provides, is a real eye-opener. The reader will feel sympathy, and admiration for this young woman in her struggle to do the right thing. The author reveals to us through this wonderful book, the struggles she endured to get free of the marriage and lifestyle that she felt was wrong. She also shared the aspects of Mormon polygamy that are often overlooked: abject poverty as a result of too many mouths to feed, lack of privacy, abjegation of self, and the continuing indoctrination of female children, and the overall effects of these things on the family dynamic.

I found that Irene's perspective on polygamy and monogamy, having lived in both, and her commentary on this subject is really interesting, particularly to those of us who have only been involved in monogamous relationships.

This is an unusual book on Mormon polygamy written by someone who's experienced it, and despite the author's experiences and struggles to leave that lifestyle, she writes compassionately of the church, her former family members and the experience. This is a wonderful book that is highly recommended.

Shattered Dreams is a fascinating look at a way of life totally foreign to most people. Irene Spencer grew up in the branch of the Mormon faith that still believed in polygamy. The second of what was ultimately her husband's ten wives, she became the mother of thirteen of his 58 children. The statistics are important as they show the unimaginable situation in which Irene Spencer spend much of her life.

This book is a brutally honest memoir of a woman' life. It follows her from place to place, never enough money, rarely in a finished house, living in abject poverty. She loves her husband but is able to spend very little time with him. He is spread too thin trying to meet the needs of both his large family and his church. She yearns for romance and affection, neither of which have a place in the religion she embraces. Her husband rarely sees his children- hard to spend quality time with 58 children. She helps her "sister wives" with their children in an extended system of family and obligations.

Shattered Dreams is a glimpse into the incredible life of one woman. She is able to take the reader through the many journeys, locations and situations in which she found herself. Her ability to look back on the emotions she suffered and share them is a gift she shares thoughtfully and clearly. It is an emotional tale but told without self pity, without holding back on any part of it.

It has basic background on the church, its history and turbulence as it affects her life. A follow up to this memoir would be most welcomed to expand on the Mormon Church and the events that are mentioned in this book. Irene Spencer's ability to handle concrete details along with a descriptive voice would make her an ideal author to examine and share more information on this subject.

Irene Spencer, in her first book Shattered Dreams, speaks boldly from the heart of a woman oppressed by a patriarchal religious cult and powerfully bares her life of loneliness, longing and determination to overcome.

Her story chronicles the severe pain of sharing a husband with nine other wives all vying for her husband's attention and affection. She lived in abject poverty in the Mexican desert, raising 13 of her husband's 58 children, often without running water or electricity.

Shattered Dreams reads like a page-turner novel and finishes strong. I quickly found myself cheering for Irene as she overcame each obstacle and bravely chose to take control of her life.

I grew up in Utah as a non-Mormon. I had always believed that the fundamentalist Mormons were a sick, twisted cult that thrived on child molestation and sex. After reading Shattered Dreams, I see that many of these people were living a life of sacrifice for what they truly believe in. I do not believe in Pologamy or Mormonism 'fundalmentalist or otherwise', but I do understand their plight a great deal more. I have a mountain of respect for Irene and what she endured and sacrificed for 28 years of her life. I could not say that I could be as true to, and as passionate about my religious beliefs, to endure a life of poverty, disease, lonliness, neglect, depression, filth - the list goes on and on. I would have left that life LONG, LONG before Irene finally did!! Personally, I found the book very inspirational. When I think about the way that Irene and her children lived, and how other plural wives are living their lives today, my worries and problems seem almost trivial. This was a great read. Highly recommended!

Shattered Dreams is the autobiography of Irene Spencer, a woman raised in a fundamentalist polygamous sect of the Mormon faith. Irene was raised to honor the Principle (of plural marriage and reverence for the sect leader) to achieve eternal salvation. Despite her own mother abandoning the Principle, and despite a suitor who promised Irene a monogamous, mainstream lifestyle in the LDS church, Irene married a polygamous man in 1953 at the age of just 16. From girlhood through motherhood, Irene grappled with her own mortal desires to have a husband all to herself, to bear only as many children as she could afford, and to achieve stability and financial security. As a member of a polygamous sect, Irene prayed to banish these selfish desires and worked to obey her husband's desire for a kingdom of seven (or more) wives, which would ensure him godhood in his faith.

Polygamy is punishable by ex-communication from the LDS church, so Irene's marriage was a secret from her closest friends and family members until her husband moved Irene and his first wife, Charlotte, to rural Mexico, where they could avoid both LDS scrutiny and the law of the U.S. With their husband Verlan, Irene and her nine sister wives moved across Mexico and South America in search of farming and business ventures that would ensure their survival. She lived in unfinished homes without running water or electricity for most of her life, but she formed a community with the local Mexicans, sharing U.S. surplus clothing and blankets as well as food. Irene even adopted a local abandoned baby who was turned out by the family patriarch. Her stories are humorous and heart-warming, despite the fact that in reality, her family was constantly at the edge of survival. Irene is a terrific storyteller who often ends a chapter with a zinger of a punch-line.

From the title of this book, I expected to read more ruminations on the "shattering" of dreams. Irene's story is no tell-all expose against polygamy. She left the lifestyle after she was widowed, and she has lived in monogamy for the last two decades, but she does not crusade against her former sect. Irene has instead chosen to share the story of a wife and mother struggling to find balance and contentment in life. The reader is left to draw his or her own conclusions from Irene's life of poverty and personal sacrifice. The author does mention inter-sect murders and power struggles, but only in passing, because she was consumed with much more immediate pressures to feed and clothe her thirteen children. Later in her marriage, when her husband courted a new teenaged wife (a girl of only 14 years who was friends with Irene's oldest daughter!), Irene questioned him outright about the girl's suitability for marriage, but finally conceded to her husband's desires and blessed the marriage.

Irene Spencer has written a first-rate family history for her legacy of children and grandchildren (most of whom chose not to live in the Principle). This is a powerful glimpse inside a life that is alien to most Americans.

As an former LDS woman myself who was raised in the LDS church, this book was edifying to me to read stories of women who escaped the brainwashing that the church (both LDS and FLDS) did and still does, particularly to women. This book had real-life stories of the struggle and hardship of practicing polygamy in the modern world. It was funny, honest, horrifying and sad all at the same time, what a beautifully written piece of text. If you want to read a book that will inspire you to understand polygamy better and why people stay in it for so long, THIS is the book for you to read. I am so proud of Irene Spencer (the author) for being brave enough to share her story. Her story was the BEST presentation of the true roots of Mormonism that I have ever read. As a former Mormon, who is not interested in slandering the church, but rather just telling the truth, I can tell you: this book will tell you everything you've ever wanted to know about the real hardships that Fundamentalist and regular mormon women have to face. I think modern day practicing LDS members would enjoy reading this just as much as any non-mormon or ex-mormon. This book is not written to slam the LDS church and it doesn't,it just tells of Irene's life story as a polygamist's wife.

There seems to be quite a glut recently of books written by plural wives who have left the FLDS (Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints) and their polygamous husbands. Their way of life is very foreign to most of us, and from what I understand, there is currently a show on TV depicting some sort of Hollywoodized version of plural marriage.

Irene Spencer, unlike some of the other books I've glanced through, tells her story simply and honestly and attempts to impart to the reader an understanding of what and why she lived the way she did. She doesn't make her polygamous husband, Verlan LeBaron, out to be a monster or some terrifying persona. (Though, at times he does seem a jerk!) She was his wife and she loved him. She bore 13 of his children. She became his 2nd wife willingly.

Irene's honesty and acceptance of the choices she made in her life is what makes this book delightful to read. At times one has to wonder, especially as she battles with jealousy. Yet, hey, she is being honest here. She is baring her life - warts and all - and not all of it shows her in the best light.

When I finished the book, I had a good deal of admiration for this woman. Her life is very different from mine, but she is a survivor. She has probably had more sorrow than happiness, especially in her younger years. Yet, she seems to have no bitterness, and treats all she meets with kindness. I sincerely hope she has achieved happiness now.

I enjoyed the time I spent with Irene and her family. She allowed me to glimpse a life I probably will never understand, but I am glad she found the courage to share it.

I agree with all prior comments. Irene Spencer's narrative flows as if she were a guest in your own parlor. She is factual without seeking self-pity. And as your jaw drops at some of her statements you find yourself wondering if in her situation..YOU could be so compassionate and forgiving! It's a refreshing read, atypical in lacking the seething, get- even anger of too many women's books.In this well balanced assessment of her life she extends love and understanding to most all caught up in world of Mormon fundamentalism.
.I would add...I couldn't help but see a similarity between her experience and that of many "sisters" caught in , polygamous or not,other fanatical fundamentalist religions burgeoning today. They all have in common male domination through prohibition of higher education for females,enforced obedience through brainwashing techniques involving fear and guilt, and above all...the proverbial "barefoot and pregnant"...usually quite literally!!
What I have come to realize, and this biography well dramatizes that fact,fanatical fundamentalism of WHATEVER persuasion always backfires because the very nature of its extreme rigidity becomes as constraining to the male as to the female he seeks to control!
Kudoes to this tremendous woman for her survival with sanity in tact and I look forward to part two!!!

I just finished reading this book yesterday evening and was anxious to come here and sing its praises. However, the other reviewers have beat me to it! Therefore, I wholeheartedly endorse what's already been written.

One thing I want to add to what has already been written: This is the first honest book on polygamy that I've ever read. If you need to understand polygamy for whatever reason, please do yourself a favor and read this book!

I was always interested in Mormons because they seemed to be industrious, focused, and rarely criminal. Just what we'd like Americans to be. But I was horribly disappointed to find that the fundamentalist Mormons (who continue polygamy after it was outlawed by the Mormon church and federal laws) seem to be completly selfish in their quest to becomes gods and goddesses, at the expense of their families. Polygramy is poverty, Irene Spencer proves in her book. Those who aim for 7 marriages and 50 children get poorer every year. You'd think (hope) that polygamy would be about sex, but it doesn't seem to be -- at least, not about good sex. I couldn't put this book down: Spencer is such a fine writer, able to put sincerity into words, at times with great humor. One of my favorite books of the year.